Mud and Blood
by Till the fat lady sings
Summary: An imagining of the Fae Wars, pitting Bo against Tamsin after everybody's favorite Succubus is taking a turn for the Dark. The rest of the gang has chosen a side already, but loyalties start to waver when the Valkyrie is taken prisoner and Lauren finally accepts the fact that Bo is no longer herself. I'm not sure where this is going, but I do know that this is a story about Copdoc.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey y'all,**

**This is my first fanfic ever, so hit me with all you've got. I mean it, be as mean as you like, I can take it, and I really wanna hear your thoughts. **

**Not a native English speaker. I don't own Lost Girl either. But I am grateful to this show, to its characters, and especially to Tamsin, for getting me to start writing again. **

**Thanks, and happy reading!**

She had stopped looking in the mirror a while ago. She didn't need to anymore, she could put on that battered armor with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back. She knew all the chinks and dents, the slash marks left by countless enemy swords and arrows, none too strong to pierce through the golden metal forged by gods.

Truth be told, she never expected to need the rusty old thing again. When Bo rose to power and united all clans of Fae, both dark and light, young and old, the Valkyrie sighed a sigh of relief and was ready to hang out her sword and armor for good. Ready to retire and drink herself into oblivion, to forget everything and everyone and slowly slip into nothingness. She did not want a quick death this time. This was her last death and she was going to enjoy it, cherish it and remember every second of it, to her final breath.

Well, that was until everything started to change. Thinking back, Tamsin still couldn't believe that two years before everything was still so… normal. Then the first signs started showing. Nothing big at first, just small mannerisms, a strange look on her face now and then, as if the Succubus had trouble understanding what was going on around her, then unnecessarily sharp retorts to her friends' comments – all of these slowly escalated until she was hardly recognizable anymore. To Tamsin, at least.

What's worse was that by the time the Valkyrie realized what was happening, it was already too late to do anything. At first, she just thought the changes in Bo's attitude were because of their trip to Valhalla to recover Kenzi and that she would eventually snap out of it and get back to her normal face-sucking self. A perilous journey to the farthest depths of Valhalla and back was bound to leave some marks, right? But it was more than that, Tamsin realized. It was like Bo was undergoing a slow transformation to become something else, to be reborn… as who? Or as what?

And then one day, right before Bo brought all the Fae factions to the same table to have them swear allegiance, Tamsin figured it out. Bo wouldn't need to demand fealty, she'd earn it, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

She had actually said as much back then. Bo sighed, the shadow of a smile creeping at the corners of her mouth. "Tamsin, I swear to God these Fae are sometimes worse than children. Always so stubborn, sometimes it's just better to tell them what to do instead of waiting around forever for them to figure it out. It's all for the best, you'll see."

The Valkyrie didn't say anything then. She just stared the succubus in the eye and what she saw there terrified her. It was still Bo, blue-eyed, wonderful, impossibly perfect Bo, but there was something else lurking behind, something that Tamsin couldn't pinpoint exactly, but reminded her of the father. The monster had found a way back to this world after all… and what was worse was that the Valkyrie was convinced it was her fault. Her fault for allowing Bo to accompany her on the quest to save Kenzi. Her fault for taking his money so long ago.

Tamsin didn't wait long to act. As soon as the Fae leaders convened in the large hall of what had been the Morrigan's favorite estate, she sought up some members of the elders' council that she still considered friends and tried to convince them of how wrong this was. Some of them listened, but most of them did not and turned her away, urging her to accept the new order, this new world of peace, prosperity and coexistence with the human race.

"You're wrong, and I hope you won't be alive long enough to see it," she would say simply in return and walk away. Eventually she took her claim to the Blood King. Dyson was there, forever loyal to the one and only bloodline that had just united all things Fae. They were celebrating. Luckily, Bo was nowhere in sight, but the two humans that never left her side were: Kenzi and the doctor. Both of them had changed a lot over the past year, like they were carrying a heavy, invisible burden all the time and couldn't really breathe or lift their heads or they'd be instantly crushed. That's why she actually thought they'd believe her and support her in stopping Bo and getting her back to her senses.

"You're wrong, Tamsin, and I hope you will be able to see it one day," Lauren told her, echoing her own words. Kenzi just nodded in approval and added, only half convinced, "Tam-Tam, honey, you know this is all for the best, right? Finally, some friggin' peace around here!" The words cut through her like a sharp blade, leaving her emotionally bloodied and on the brink of despair, but she didn't show it. She never did. No matter how much those two humans meant to her.

In the months they worked together to find a way of getting Kenzi back, she had grown quite fond of Lauren. Their relationship was still strained, but they had become used to being around each other and gradually relaxed into a friendship of sorts. If she had to be entirely honest, the Valkyrie found herself increasingly drawn to the human doctor, especially after she started noticing the changes in Bo's behavior, but she never said or did anything to let Lauren know, and she watched in silence how the object of her infatuation only had eyes for her precious Succubus. And Kenzi was family – hell, she had practically raised her after her rebirth, but she was never going to leave Bo's side. How could she? How could anyone even dream to leave when they were under the protection of the world's mightiest Fae?

So their reaction did not really come as a surprise to Tamsin, but the searing pain it caused did. She shouldn't have cared so much. Trick and Dyson dismissed her quickly and suggested she take a nap to sleep off her drunkenness and clear her head. They laughed out loudly and reassuringly. She wasn't drunk, but she left anyway. She got in her truck and drove as fast and far as she could, making only a brief stop at the crackshack to get her armor and weapons. She would be ready when the time came.

And today was the day, it seemed. As she finished tightening up her armor, she remembered how surprised she was to see Trick in front of her motel door one evening. He was with five or six other Fae she only knew vaguely.

"You sure as fuck took your time, old man," she said, urging them inside. And that was the beginning of their resistance. Trick was the only one of the old gang who realized what his granddaughter was becoming. He had first tried talking some sense into her, then cast a spell or two and even tried to feed her strange potions he prepared himself – nothing worked. The Succubus was just about to throw him in a dungeon, when he narrowly escaped along with a handful of former Light Fae who had sat on the council. Dyson remained by Bo's side, as did Lauren and Kenzi.

The rebels were able to put together a pretty good army, Tamsin thought, and she worked day and night to train them. No match for Bo's impressive numbers, but still, they'd have a decent fighting chance. For a while, they adopted guerilla warfare techniques and dealt some serious damage to strategic objectives for the new Fae leader. Trick explained that most of the key positions in Bo's rule went to former prominent Dark Fae. The few Light members who had become trusted advisors to the succubus had to abandon their ways and join the Dark in habits and attitude, albeit without any official pledge.

"She isn't uniting the Fae, she's turning all of them Darker than they ever were before," the Blood King told Tamsin. "You were right from the start and now it may be too late to stop her." Tamsin just smiled and patted him on his back. "We'll figure something out, barkeep, we have to. No way I'm letting that succuslut turn this into the friggin' Faepocalypse or something. Not without me riding a pale horse all over her dark bullshit," she grinned.

Today was the first time they'd engage in open combat after dozens of scuffles and smaller fights over the past few months. Nobody had claimed victory after those skirmishes, so open confrontation remained the only way to settle this once and for all, Tamsin told herself. Today she would lead the frayed resistance into battle against a much bigger, much more dangerous foe. She was pretty sure she was going on a suicide mission, but she hoped to at least be able to get to Bo before dying. She had insisted that Trick and some of the elders leave as far away from the battlefield as possible and continue researching ways to turn Bo back to her old self in case the Succubus won the war. Which was a very distinct possibility.

Tamsin didn't actually think getting Bo back was possible anymore, but she wanted Trick to live. He'd lost a hand in a previous fight and he was getting more depressed and more desperate by the second, ready to give his life to the first enemy soldier he'd encounter. But Tamsin obstinately refused to allow him to tag along.

"Someone has to make it out of this mess, Trick. And you're the brains in the equation, you owe it to Bo and all the fucking Fae to figure this out, okay?" He nodded and shook her hand, looking down. "I'm sorry for not believing you sooner, Valkyrie. It has been an honor to be by your side." "Same here, old man. Now get going before I change my mind and throw you in with the first line of attack!" She had always hated goodbyes and for good reason, she was absolutely horrible at them.

Trick and his group left shortly after midnight. The battle was set to begin at first light, which was what Tamsin was contemplating now on her white horse, clad in her old armor and clutching the hilt of her sword like it was the end of the world. Her army was right behind her, lined up among the trees on the ridge. On the opposite ridge above the deep ravine, the enemy was putting on an impressive display, keeping their lines tight, their brand new armor shining brightly as the first light of morning fell upon them. They started chanting something unintelligible, but in an unnerving rhythm.

She rolled her eyes and turned to the soldier on her left. He was considerably shorter, a bit chubby and had a geek vibe going. His armor was old, she could tell, but it had hardly been used.

"Remind me why the fuck did we go full on medieval for this thing?" she asked, never taking her eyes off the enemy.

"Less conspicuous, apparently. Easier to keep away from nosy humans than a bunch of supernatural beings firing automatics and bazookas at each other, I guess. Publicized as the 3rd edition of the International LARPing Convention."

She turned her head and cocked an eyebrow inquisitively. "It's pretty ingenious actually, come to think of it. LARPing is…" the man went on but was quickly interrupted.

"Dude, I know what LARPing is. It's just that I honestly didn't expect anyone to give a shit about appearances anymore, yaknow…"

The soldier nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it… Well, the irony doesn't elude me," he smiled. "See, it's a bit of a hobby of mine," he smiled apologetically. "LARPing, that is. All the dressing up, pretending you're someone you're not anymore…" his voice trailed off.

She took a closer look at the man, she didn't know what kind of Fae he was, and she honestly didn't care. She didn't even know why she was wasting her time talking to him, but as she watched him trying to saddle his horse and being terribly bad at it, she realized the man was absolutely terrified. He was experiencing a kind of terror he had never felt before and he'd been around for centuries.

She felt a sudden urge to tell him everything would be okay, that everything would be over soon and he'd be alive but she couldn't. She saw his death so clearly, to the tiniest detail, lifeless eyes facing the ground, blood trickling from his mouth. She couldn't lie to him, but what she could do was make him fearless.

"Hey, watch your back out there, 'kay?" The man turned and looked the Valkyrie in her bright green eyes and all of a sudden it felt as if the weight of the entire world was taken off his chest. He nodded, smiling. "You too, commander."

She grinned at him, as she pulled his fear and terror toward her by an invisible thread, owning it and allowing it to become part of herself and blend with her own sense of dread and doom._ Fuck this shit_, she decided.

She turned her head to the enemy lines once again, searching, but what she was looking for wasn't there. She spotted Dyson in a commanding officer's armor, talking with another soldier or possibly his second in command. Their eyes met briefly, or at least she thought they did, as he saw him nod curtly and she surprised herself returning the gesture. So he was the one she'd go up against, not Bo. While she entertained the idea of kicking the wolf boy's butt for eternity, she needed him alive for her plan to work. She made up her mind on the spot, as a sharp sense of clarity washed over her, comforting her and dispelling any doubt.

"Yo, listen up!" She called the troops to attention. They all turned their heads to face her, their hands already tight around their weapons. "I've given too many speeches before battle to have the patience for another one. But know that this right here, today, is possibly the most important war we ever fought. The most important war humanity has ever fought."

All the soldiers were silent, waiting for her to go on.

"Y'all know that epic battle scene in _The Two Towers_, where they're riding down the hill to join the Battle of Helm's Deep? And everybody's relieved and shit cuz the White Wizard's saving the day?" Some soldiers nodded, others murmured in approval. Tamsin smiled, satisfied. "Well, it's gonna be nothing like that today!" she grinned as some troops started laughing. "Although I was told I look like Gandalf in a certain light after a really, really bad hangover."

More laughter followed, and she gave it a few seconds to die down before going on: "I guess what I'm trying to say is that today nothing matters. Or none of that complete bullshit we were told matters over the years. When we reach the bottom of this ravine, we will not exist anymore. There'll only be blood and death. And you won't think, you'll just fight and kick and bite and scream. You won't be you anymore. We'll all be just raw, primeval weapons strummed to perfection, with only one goal: TO KICK THEIR SCRAWNY BUTTS," she roared and her army followed suit almost instantly, cheering and yelling, weapons already drawn, raised high above their heads.

She turned to face the enemy once more and saw they were already on the move. Without second thoughts, she sounded the attack and charged with everything she had, her troops close behind. Before noon, half of them would be already dead, she knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows and favorites, you're really an extraordinary crowd! **

**To give fair warning, I won't be able to upload as often as I'd like, because my life is split between a crazy job that turned me into a robot and a crazy family whom I love deeply despite what they might think. But I'll do my best to not keep you waiting for too long. **

**Any reviews and feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks again, everyone.**

She hadn't had much sleep lately. She knew, she felt it and she was logically aware that her brain was suffering from it, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had tried to determine the reason scientifically time and again, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. And Bo wasn't helping.

The night before the big battle, she showed up in her tent, positively glowing, oozing confidence and lust. It didn't take much convincing, of course. She had protested feebly that she was too tired, that they had a big day ahead and should get some rest, but this was all a game already. It had almost become part of their ritual over the last few months. Bo would walk in, smile seductively and crash into Lauren, kissing her so passionately that the doctor's resolve would melt right there and then. On some nights it took longer, as they practically circled each other like two relentless birds of prey, but the outcome was always the same. Lauren would forget all about how tired she was and would allow herself to slip into that comfortable feeling of being loved by Bo, of being entirely hers, body and soul.

And tonight was no different. If anything, Bo was even more impatient, driven by the thrill of the ensuing battle. At a certain point Lauren thought she was going to pass out but the succubus sent a refreshing wave a pleasure coursing through her veins, carrying her on until they both collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily and still holding tight to each other. Lauren cherished these moments so much, that sometimes she felt the sex was just a means to the end goal: lying like this with the woman she loved. The intimacy they shared in these moments was almost like… before this whole war started. Who was she fooling? The change had started well before the war, but these last few months had made it worse.

It was as if Bo was on auto-pilot – she was doing the same things she always did so perfectly, yet it felt like she wasn't actually there for most of the time. Except for when she got angry, which was happening more and more often now. But her anger was no longer fire and rage, it was cold and calculated, which somehow made it a lot more terrifying. Lauren had been at the receiving end of that anger only once and that was one time too many. It happened the last time she had questioned the war and suggested that Bo extend an offer of peace to Trick and Tamsin. The Succubus's eyes flashed blue in an instant – they were staying blue most of the time nowadays, and the doctor dreaded to think what this actually meant: was it her inner nature and human side finally coming to terms? Or her human side finally subsiding?

"Would you rather be with them, Lauren?" Bo spat back, her blue eyes fixed on the doctor. Lauren swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump she started feeling in her throat, taken aback by the response her comment had triggered. "N-n-no," she finally stuttered. "No, Bo! What I meant was…"

"Because I'm sure that can be arranged if you want to join those traitors," Bo interrupted, in the same voice, which sounded almost casual were it not for the underlying coldness that froze Lauren on the spot. The response confused her, as she felt she did nothing wrong, but as she looked into Bo's bright blue eyes she felt that it didn't actually matter. She opened her mouth to speak, to explain herself, but decided against it. Bo watched the doctor intently and smiled satisfied when she realized Lauren was not going to pursue the argument further.

"They're traitors, Lauren," she said in a slightly warmer tone. "As much as it pains me, I cannot forgive them, they were family, I trusted them and they turned against me. Against us!" she raised her voice, and Lauren nodded, while thinking that every word that came out of Bo's mouth, every voice inflection was carefully calculated. Bo smiled again, a genuine look of concern on her face now. "Babe, I know it's hard, it's been hard for all of us. Kenzi is still not over Tamsin up and leaving us after we practically raised her. And Trick… you know I never had anyone else I could actually call my blood except him… But peace is out of the question. I've worked too hard for this to let them screw it all up." She smiled and touched Lauren's shoulder in some sort of gesture of reassurance. "I thought you of all people would understand."

The doctor nodded again. Bo's touch made her feel safe, it always had, but now there was something else there, it was almost like an unspoken threat of sorts. But no, Bo would never… Lauren frowned, feeling guilty for having such thoughts about her lover. Her protector. "I do, Bo. I understand. I'm sorry... it's as you said, still difficult to accept," she sighed. Bo's smile got wider as she pulled the doctor in for a hug. "Just promise me one thing, Bo." She felt Bo's chin on her shoulder as the Succubus nodded in agreement. She took that as a sign to go on: "That when everything is over, you will be merciful." "If they deserve mercy, they will get it," came Bo's reply. "And I'll hear no more of this."

That was a few months back, and since then Lauren had done her best to stay on Bo's good side. The Succubus seemed calmer and didn't lose her temper as often as she used to. Lauren thought this was because Bo had no doubt she would win the war. In the days leading up to the big battle, there were frequent reports about the rebel army facing more desertions and growing weaker. Reports about Trick's injury and Tamsin's despair. Bo was pleased.

"You know, you could maybe… stay the night?" Lauren asked, once she felt enough confidence in her vocal chords to open her mouth. They were still lying in her bed, listening to the soldiers outside the tent as they were preparing for battle.

Bo smiled and wrapped her arms around her. "At your service, doctor." Lauren chuckled and drew herself closer to her lover, wanting to feel her with every inch of her skin. "It's fine, Bo, I know you can't, it's a big day tomorrow and you have to get ready."

The succubus sighed "Well, at least I can stay for a few more hours. There's plenty of time," she said reassuringly. "Now try to get some sleep doctor, it's gonna be a long day for you tomorrow. We need you in tip top shape so you can patch our boys up."

"Aye aye, captain," Lauren raised two fingers in a half-assed salute but her hand stopped moving halfway to her temple and fell on Bo's chest.

Bo placed a light kiss on the doctor's head. "It's gonna be fine, Lauren, you'll see. By this time tomorrow everything will have been sorted out. We'll show these rebels their place once and for all."

Lauren nodded but didn't say anything. Absentmindedly, her left index finger was tracing imaginary circles on Bo's chest. "Enough of that now, babe. Try to get some sleep." Lauren smiled and shut her eyes tight, starting what had become her mantra every night over the past couple of weeks. Other people count sheep to fall asleep, Lauren was making a mental inventory of her medical supplies. Soon enough, she dozed off, but remained in a state of semi-sleep where she was still vaguely aware of what was going on around her. She felt the succubus get out of bed and heard her getting dressed a few hours later but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't tear herself away from that state of semi consciousness to kiss her lover for good luck.

She did get to see Bo briefly as she rushed to the medical tent at the first crack of dawn. She noticed that the troops were already amassed and clamoring with anticipation of the battle. This was all so familiar, she thought – it was like Afghanistan, only like in Braveheart. It sort of took away the seriousness of the situation, the thought crossed her mind but she chased it away quickly, reminding herself that war was no jest, it was a deadly machine, no matter the form.

Bo smiled when she saw her and although she was rushing to the troops, she stopped briefly to give the doctor a big hug. Lauren's breath hitched as she took in how superb Bo was looking in her dark red and black armor suit.

"It's starting, Lauren, I can't stay long. Take care of our boys and if you need anything, come to me right away, okay?

"You're not riding out with the first wave?"

"No, Dyson thinks it's better to wait until his troops clear out the thick of the enemy. Safer, he said. He'll lead the first charge." Lauren nodded. This was one of the few instances when she agreed with the wolf shifter. Anything to keep Bo safe.

"Good," she said. "Look, I've got to go to the medical tent now to check on the nurses and see if they have everything ready, okay? I'll see you soon, babe." "Soon," Bo agreed and hugged her again before strolling away. Lauren watched her going, but Bo never looked back.

The first casualties started arriving an hour after the battle began. Lauren was in full doctor mode and did her job almost automatically, patching and stitching, cauterizing wounds and applying unguents and bandages, giving shots or pain medication to all the injured Fae coming in for a quick patch up job.

Some of them who were only lightly injured were able to return to the front, but most of them were too seriously wounded and in need of prolonged medical care.

Reports from the battlefield varied greatly, but one thing they could all agree on was that they were winning. The Blood King was nowhere to be seen, and the washed up Valkyrie leading the enemy was not going to last much longer, they said. Other soldiers muttered under their breath that the only reason they were winning was because they outnumbered the enemy almost 4 to 1, not because they had better skills than Tamsin's rebels. And they had a lot more berserkers and trolls on their side, which made all the difference in close, hand-to-hand combat.

Bo never came to check on her or the wounded, but Kenzi was around most of the time, offering a helping hand whenever she could, despite her apprehension towards blood and open wounds.

Later in the afternoon, a couple of elves carried Dyson in. He was in pretty bad shape, bleeding profusely from a deep gash on his abdomen. His arms and torso were covered in similar wounds, none of them so deep though. The wolf shifter was mostly passed out, mumbling incoherently about things long gone. Bo rushed in, a look of panic on her face, and grabbed Lauren's arm tightly, making her wince. The look on Bo's face felt like a sharp knife through the heart._ Focus, Dr. Lewis, you've got a patient to save,_ Lauren thought.

"Lauren, what happened? How bad is it? Dyson, stay with us, come on!" Bo practically cried as she noticed the shifter was not responding in any way.

"Bo, I need you to calm down and let us do our job, okay?" Lauren said in the most professional sounding tone she could muster.

The succubus nodded slightly and stared Lauren in the eye. "How bad is it?"

The doctor frowned and rubbed the crease between her eyes, sighing deeply. 'Look Bo, it's pretty bad, I'm not going to lie. But he'll live, and he'll be getting better if you let me get to work right away."

Bo nodded again and let the doctor go before turning her attention to the two elves who had brought Dyson in and who were being patched up by a nurse. "Privates." Both of them stood upright so fast that almost knocked the nurse down.

"Tell me what happened." Her voice was colder than the Antarctic.

The taller of the two cleared his throat, hoping that the pause would nudge his comrade into speaking first. It didn't, and the other elf was staring straight ahead, not a single muscle twitching on his face.

"It was the Valkyrie, ma'am," the taller one eventually gave in. "Ever since the battle began they sought each other, like they did not care about anything else but facing each other on the battlefield. We tried to get her first but she singlehandedly repelled all our attacks. So when they finally met…" the elf's voice trailed off and he took a deep breath before continuing. "It was fierce. He fought bravely, but I guess nobody can hold their own against an enraged Valkyrie on her last life cycle for too long…"

Lauren had her back on the two soldiers, as she was doing her best to stop the bleeding and stabilize Dyson with what she had at her disposal – he really needed proper medical care, in a proper hospital, not in this silly makeshift medical tent. She cringed when she heard the elf's comment about Tamsin, knowing very well how nothing got Bo angrier than hearing how other Fae could possibly be more powerful than her. She expected a harsh retort in that cruel, cold tone she had come to equally fear and loathe over the past months, but nothing happened. She turned her head over briefly and saw Bo frozen in place, lost in thought. The two elves looked positively uncomfortable, not knowing what to expect.

"Hmmm," the succubus finally hummed. "Thank you for your courage, privates. I'll make sure you'll receive a commendation. Now rest," she dismissed them quickly and turned briskly on her heels, heading back to Lauren. "How is he?"

"Not good, Bo. We need to get him to a real hospital and the sooner the better. There's only so much I can do with what I have here."

"Do you think I can help him?"

Lauren knew exactly what Bo meant. She was actually wondering how come it hadn't come up sooner. She knew it and it still hurt like somebody was driving a hot rod through her heart. "I don't know… it might work," she nodded. That was all the confirmation Bo needed. "Great! Come on, let's take him to my tent," she ordered two of the nurses and the soldiers standing guard at the door – her personal bodyguards, following her everywhere she went. Lauren didn't know exactly what they were and she never asked. Whatever they were or weren't, one thing they most definitely were was incredibly dangerous.

She watched helplessly as the guards and nurses picked up the gurney with an unconscious Dyson lying very still and left the tent hurriedly, trying to keep up with Bo. She had left without saying a word.

Rationally speaking, Lauren knew it was ridiculous to be jealous. Yet she was, and it was eating away at her. _Fuck this._ She needed a break. In times like these, she really wished she'd smoked, she thought as she stormed out of the medical tent.


	3. Chapter 3

**My friends, **

**Thanks for sticking with me through hell or high water (okay, okay, I'm exaggerating a bit here, I admit). Thanks for your reviews and follows and to all those who took the time to read this, it means the world to me! **

**Before we move forward, please allow me to explain a few things.**

**1\. There is a good reason Bo is healing Dyson through sex instead of breathing some mighty powerful chi down his throat and bam! getting him back on his feet. Sure, she may be looking for an excuse as well, since her usual self is still around there, somewhere, and she wouldn't miss any opportunity of banging the wolf. But there is a specific reason as well.**

**2\. I did not want to make Dark Bo so different that she would be unrecognizable. I believe a Dark Bo would not be a lot different than what we know, but that she could inspire fear and terror mixed with awe and even some strange kind of love. It's part of her DNA, after all.**

**3\. Lauren. To be entirely honest, I did not like Lauren in the first seasons. The character seemed weak and indecisive and that pissed me off. I think I have truly started to respect and like Lauren during Season 4 (in my opinion, she was the only good thing that emerged from that season). So even if she is still technically a slave of sorts, the Lauren of this story has a rebellious side to her as well. Which I expect will come into play soon.**

**Thanks again, and please read on. I hope you like it!**

XXXXXX

_The snow was red with heroes' blood_

_Yet on they went through bones and mud._

_"__To death," they yelled._

_And death was there, guiding her sword,_

_Her wings spread wide across the fjord,_

_Safe passage for those felled._

_Oh Valkyrie, thy breath is doom_

_Thy eyes shine brighter than the moon_

_In rage and darkness you were forged,_

_A child of light, forever…_

For the life of her, Tamsin couldn't remember how this silly nursery rhyme she'd learned as a kid went on. She couldn't even remember in what lifetime she had learned it exactly – she was pretty sure this was nothing she'd been taught while growing up with Kenzi, it didn't really sound like the sort of thing Snoop Dogg or Marilyn Manson would sing, did it?

Even if it annoyed her greatly that she couldn't recall the whole thing, she hummed it and sang it silently to herself as she was advancing through the enemy lines slashing left and right and fighting back any attack without as much as batting an eye. She had sent her horse back to camp a while ago, to keep her out of harm's way, so she was not moving forward as fast as she would have liked.

She didn't aim to kill the enemy necessarily, just to wound them badly enough to take them out of the battle. She was determined not to let her sisters have too many of them. _Carrion_, she thought, as she looked in disgust at the two Valkyries walking around the battlefield, stepping over the lifeless bodies of all those fallen warriors to collect their souls and take them to Valhalla. And she was not referring to the dead. The women looked at her as if they had heard her thoughts, a look of recognition briefly lighting up their faces. Tamsin looked back and grinned wildly when the two women turned their heads away, obviously realizing all of a sudden that they shouldn't have even looked at her. Remembering who she had been and wasn't anymore. "Yeah, that's right, vultures," she whispered as she turned around swiftly to push back another attack. "Collect your dues and run along to daddy. Stupid bitches."

The enemy was not doing her the same courtesy though. Too many of her soldiers were falling and for what? As the battle raged on, Tamsin became acutely aware that they stood no chance of winning. No matter how many enemies she felled, there were always new ones taking their place.

_The snow was red with heroes' blood…_

Dyson had been unexpectedly easy to take out, she thought. But now that she had hurt the Succubus' pet wolf, she expected Bo to throw her worst at her. Even ride out herself and meet her in battle. That would have made things so much easier… But Bo was nowhere to be seen. Yet Tamsin was right about having to face the worst. Or something that came pretty close, anyway. As she continued her relentless advance at the helm of her troops, Tamsin saw them making their way down the hill, deliberately taking their time and eyeing her intently. "My my, the succubitch did get out the heavy artillery for me, didn't she?" she smirked.

"Time to retreat, guys," she yelled back to her troops. "From here on out I'm on my own." The soldiers looked at her in confusion and started protesting. "That's an order, maggots! GO. BACK. NOW," she hissed, in that unique way she had of hissing a sentence that had absolutely no trace of fricatives.

Satisfied that her men appeared to obey her orders, she turned her attention to the group of monsters heading towards her. Gripping her sword's hilt tightly, she started running to meet them, her majestic wings arched wide behind her. "'To death,' they yelled, and death was there," she shouted at the top of her lungs, noticing the puzzled looks on her challengers' faces. She was not going to just go with them without a fight now, was she?

XXXXXX

"You've gotta be shitting me, doc! Tell me you're shitting me." They were still in Lauren's old lab when she was yet with the Light Fae. She was sitting at her desk, a huge grin on her face, happy about the breakthrough she'd just had. Tamsin was pacing around the room, gesturing enthusiastically and toying around with a beaker.

"Shitting you I am not. All there is to it, scout's honor! And would you put that down?" she almost snapped after the blue-grayish liquid in the beaker came dangerously close to spilling all over Tamsin's hands and on the floor.

"Okay, okay, Master Yoda," Tamsin shrugged and carefully placed the beaker back among its comrades. "Now, walk me through it again, while I bow to your infinite wisdom."

And she did. She lowered her head in what Lauren expected to be just another one of the Valkyrie's trademark mockeries, but strangely enough, this time it was like she really meant it. She had done her best to sound her usual sarcastic self, but there was not even a trace of arrogance in her bow. As she lowered her head, her emerald eyes stayed on the doctor, who couldn't help but notice how serious Tamsin looked all of a sudden. This confused Lauren greatly. She was not ready for kindness in her relationship with the Valkyrie. Hell, she wasn't even sure she was ready for respect – and Tamsin's gesture was definitely one of the two. Or, even worse, it was both.

Smiling uncomfortably, she tried to look away, but then Tamsin spoke. She spoke for a while, in a language unknown to the doctor, yet every word made perfect sense. She talked about loss and second chances, about defeat and purpose, about love and heartache. Lauren wanted to make her stop, but she couldn't even move. All she could do was stand there in front of her and listen, transfixed by the Valkyrie's demeanor. For in that moment she could see Tamsin in all her glory: a magnificent creature of light and darkness, her broad silver wings bearing the history of the whole universe in tiny, unknown markings.

By the time the Valkyrie stopped talking, Lauren's head felt like it was about to explode. "No," she whispered. "I can't." Tamsin smiled. "You can. It is all in your hands now." Lauren opened her mouth to protest – no, she could never do this, why was it all in her hands? She didn't want anything to do with this anyway. But no words came out. Tamsin, still smiling, reached out and touched Lauren's hand, an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort gradually taking hold of the doctor. It felt good and safe, it felt like home when she was a kid and nothing in the world could ever hurt her. The Valkyrie nodded, her smile now closer to her usual shit-eating grin. Still holding the doctor's gaze, she unsheathed her sword and pressed the sharp tip of the blade against her chest. "Go on, don't be afraid," she urged Lauren. The human grabbed the hilt, taking courage from the feeling of the cold metal under her fingers, and started to press the blade harder into the Valkyrie's chest. The sharp sword was moving steadily forward, meeting little resistance, tearing through skin and tissue, bone and blood, and finally plunging through the heart in a swift, unrepentant motion. Tamsin chuckled. "See? Nothing to it," she told Lauren reassuringly. And as they stood there, the Valkyrie began to fade away, and all the light in the room disappeared with her. Lauren, still holding the sword, burst into tears.

It was so sudden that it startled her awake, tears still trickling down her cheeks. What a strange dream, she thought, an immense feeling of sadness overwhelming her as she started remembering the details, the sickening sound made by the sword as she was driving it through Tamsin's chest. _Why on earth would she even dream something like that?_

Half of the dream, up until the Valkyrie had started her strange and unintelligible tirade, had actually happened, she remembered. It was when she had successfully found a way to bond Tamsin and Bo by blood and keep that connection steady and strong long enough to give them a chance to make it to Valhalla and get Kenzi back. Tamsin had indeed bowed her head to show her appreciation back then, but the moment lasted a fleeting second before she had switched back to bitch mode.

Lauren shook her head as if to get rid of the sour taste the dream had left, and then stretched her arms and legs to push away the mild numbness that had begun to settle in during her slumber. She looked around the medical tent and noticed it was quiet. Some of the nurses were moving between the beds, attending to the injured soldiers. There were no cries of pain anymore, which made Lauren give herself a mental pat on the back in congratulations. She had done well today. They all had.

Looking around, she realized she had dozed off while sitting at her desk, probably so tired that she fell asleep before getting herself to lie down on a bed. Kenzi had been more successful though. The Russian girl was sound asleep, curled up on one of the vacant beds. Lauren smiled as she watched her for a few moments, sleeping so peacefully. She envied her for being able to pass out like that, oblivious to everything around her. She wished she had Kenzi's compartmentalization skills and could just shove any unwanted thought or memory deep in a dark recess of her mind and never have to deal with it again. Like that dream she'd just had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys,**

**First of all, THANK YOU, LOST GIRL, FOR A WONDERFUL RIDE! I hope you'll go out in style.**

**Going back to the matter at hand, sorry in advance if any of you will feel like shooting a hole through a photo of Dyson or something after reading this. I didn't mean to make him such a dick, really, it just sort of came out that way.**

**Seriously now, this was a pretty difficult chapter to write. Probably because everything was so alive in my mind and I had the feeling I wasn't using the best words to describe it the way I see it. Probably because I don't want to see Tamsin hurt. **

**Anyway, our CopDoc girls (who were meant for each other, as characters go, and why can't the show's writers just see this and do something about it?) will finally come face to face in the next chapter. Just so you know. Looking forward to that! **

**What do you think of the story so far? Feel free to speak your mind freely, fellow Faenatics. Your thoughts are, as always, much appreciated.**

**Thanks again!**

* * *

It was late in the afternoon that the wagon rolled into camp, drawn by two huge horses led by a bridge troll. Lauren had stepped out of the medical tent for a mouth of fresh air when she saw it. She realized something important was going on, as the Fae were moving hurriedly away from the wagon's path, leaving it wide open all the way to Bo's tent. Lauren's eyes traced the itinerary, and as her gaze landed on the tent, she saw Dyson getting out, flanked by two large guards. He was just buttoning up his shirt and she cringed as she noticed there was not a single scratch on him anymore. _Of course_, she thought bitterly. A thought crossed her mind briefly, rememorizing the wounds he had sustained. He could have been dead already if his abdomen injury had been even half an inch deeper. It was almost executed with surgical precision, she thought. The realization hit her hard, like an ice bucket dumped over her head. Tamsin had actually done her best not to kill the wolf.

As she inched closer to the gathering crowd she started making out bits and pieces of what they were murmuring, the look on their faces a mixture of fear and admiration. '…three berserkers and two trolls…' 'singlehandedly killed 500 of our own…' 'some sort of blood magic and wiped out an entire…' the stories seem to grow more preposterous as she was making her way through the mass of soldiers and trying to get to Bo's tent..

There was only one Fae who could elicit this sort of response other than Bo, she thought then, and felt her heart sag when she realized what this meant. It meant the end of war, so why wasn't she happy? It meant no more blood spilled and everybody could go back home and live their lives and be happy. Well, maybe not her, of course… _Shit, don't even think that._ But they'd just go home and maybe try for something peaceful and quiet, and maybe, just maybe, they would make it work…

But it also meant that her friend, no, **former friend** was in a pretty bad shape to let herself be dragged in front of Bo like that, in a cage of sorts, paraded in front of her enemies. She was thankful that the wagon didn't have bars though, for she knew how humiliating that would have been for the Valkyrie. Why did she even care? she asked herself. Tamsin deserved it, didn't she? She'd turned against her friends, against Bo? She had it coming, Lauren thought but realized that she only half meant it. It was wrong to think that, and she blamed it on that stupid dream and her stupid subconscious. She would be happy today, she tried to convince herself. Happy for Bo winning.

She couldn't help notice the smirk on Dyson's face when the wagon finally stopped in front of Bo's tent, with a heavy jolt. The shifter and the two guards headed to the back to open the door, and she saw them talking to who was inside, but she wasn't able to hear anything because the crowd's murmuring was getting louder, drowning out anything else. She did see one of the guards wince, as he was grabbing inside the wagon for something, she couldn't quite make out what it was… wait, it looked like a chain, yes, the end of a chain... and the other guard was also reaching in…both of them pulling hard… Whatever was inside was giving them a hard time, but then Dyson joined in and impatiently yanked one of the chains, forcibly pulling what looked like a pile of dirty, bloodied rags out of the wagon. There was someone still inhabiting those rags, Lauren thought in horror as she heard the thumping noise of… that thing falling on the ground. It hardly looked like Tamsin anymore, it was just a bloody mess of dirty hair and clothes, her armor torn and caked in dried mud and blood. It looked like a lifeless form tied up in heavy chains.

The crowd started jeering and yelling, as Dyson reached down and grabbed the Valkyrie by the throat, lifting her easily off the ground. Her body spasmed and her hands shot up to her throat, trying to tear away from the wolf's grip, but the chains prevented her from completing the movement. Dyson growled loudly, continuing to display the Valkyrie like a trophy, and the crowd was ecstatic. Lauren tried to take her eyes away, but she couldn't, it was as if some inexplicable, invisible force was not allowing her to avert her gaze. She felt ashamed for being on this side, part of a crowd that was enjoying this cruel display. She was terrified. And what scared her the most was a monosyllabic chant slowly rising from among the Fae soldiers, growing louder and louder: Death death death death…

She turned away briskly and would have broken into a run if it weren't for the fact that she could barely move through the crowd. Shoving bodies aside and muttering apologies she knew nobody cared about at that moment, she started making her way back to the medical tent. Kenzi would know what to do. She was grateful the Russian hadn't been there to witness the captive's arrival, but if there was anyone able to do something about this mess, that would be Kenzi, Lauren tried to convince herself.

Tamsin watched the doctor go, her white lab coat an easily identifiable point moving hurriedly through the sea of grey armors. She had blocked out the jeers, the pain, Dyson's claws around her throat even. While everybody else was yelling, Lauren's mouth had remained tightly shut, and there was something like a mixture of sadness and embarrassment on her face, Tamsin thought. Good, this was something she could work with. The doctor couldn't tell she was being watched, but the Valkyrie kept her eyes on her, studying every muscle twitch, her struggle not to allow her emotions bubble their way to the surface, until the death chant began and Lauren couldn't take it anymore and fled. Tamsin smiled, but nobody could see it under all that blood.

* * *

"It breaks my heart to see you like this, Tamsin." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, how the mighty Fae has fallen, right?"

The Valkyrie blinked repeatedly, trying to bring Bo into focus from behind her bruised eyelids and the curtain of bloody hair hanging loose in front of her eyes. She saw the Succubus seated behind a massive wooden table, a bowl of fruit and a bottle of wine resting on one side, while a huge map of the battlefield lay right in the middle, chess pieces marking various strategic points. Normally, she would have thought this was all for show, as Bo did not have the first notion of battle tactics, nor the patience for strategy. But this was not hotheaded Bo anymore, this was someone else, someone who had been around long enough to have all the patience in the world.

"Here you are, one of the strongest – nay, perhaps the strongest Fae in existence besides yours truly – battered, bloody and broken. And for what?" Bo went on, taking a sip of wine.

A drop of wine would have been good. Damn, she even would have taken water, anything so long as her throat didn't feel like being put through a grinder in the middle of the Sahara. Every inch of her body hurt like hell and she couldn't even think of what it would be like to try and stand up. Strangely enough, she was grateful to the guards who'd carried her in for dumping her on the floor instead of making her stand.

"Tamsin, let's face it." Bo's voice pulled her away from her thoughts. "You've lost. You're done, there's nowhere to go from here." The Succubus continued looking at the broken Valkyrie, who was intentionally ignoring her and doing her best to study the surroundings without actually having to move her head too much. The guards from earlier were there, at the entrance. A third one, bigger than any Fae she'd ever seen, had joined them and was just standing there, taking up what seemed to be half the space in the tent. He looked dangerous. Slow, but dangerous. Dyson was right behind Bo, a serious look on his face.

"Your excuse of an army is gone, even they left you. I've already sent out word that if they join me they'll be shown leniency, of course. After all, they were just… misguided fools," Bo smirked. Tamsin made an attempt to open her mouth and angrily fought back the searing pain this simple movement had caused. "So tell me…" her voice sounded cracked and faint, more so than she would have liked. With yet another effort to push the pain away, she cleared her throat and continued, in a more confident voice, "you musta watched a lot of Game of Thrones reruns to nail this little scene of yours, amirite?" She even managed to twist her lips into a grin of sorts, feeling some of her usual cockiness returning.

Bo seemed positively amused. A wide smile plastered across her lips, she turned her head briefly to the huge Fae who had joined them earlier. Tamsin didn't even have time to react as the soldier moved so fast all she could do was brace herself for the heavy blow his sturdy boot landed on her stomach. The impact was so strong that it pushed her a few feet behind, still curled up in a ball of blood and pain. _Fuck! Better make that uber-fast and dangerous_, she thought, as she was trying to at least partly pick herself up.

The succubus was still smiling, her blue eyes fixed on Tamsin, in what looked like anticipation for her next move. Fine, she was not going to disappoint. "Oh my goodness!" she gasped feigning shock. "Don't tell me you've actually read the books! Well color me impressed, Your Succuness. They're like thousands of pages, you know, way beyond your pretty head's attention span!" This time it was Dyson who moved swiftly from behind Bo and punched Tamsin in the jaw, growling in anger. The Valkyrie reacted purely on instinct and letting out a guttural roar, she finally got up – she would wonder later what hidden reserve of rage she had tapped into to draw her strength – and allowed her features to sink and darken, determined to make the shifter regret the day he was born. They stood like that, facing each other, for several seconds, neither of them willing to give in.

"ENOUGH," Bo's voice boomed although she hadn't made the slightest effort. "Both of you, back the fuck off right now." Dyson obeyed immediately, lowered his eyes, and took a few steps backwards to where Bo was now standing up. Tamsin's anger could not subside this fast, and she could feel her rage bubbling up and threatening to burst open. "Valkyrie, you know your powers don't work on me. Stop right now or I will have to make you stop," Bo said and she sounded dead serious. And she was right, Tamsin knew. Even if she had been at the top of her game, she had no chance in hell to make Bo submit to her power of doubt. She took in a deep, painful breath and let her face gradually return to normal.

Bo shot Dyson an angry look – his punch was unsanctioned, Tamsin realized. "Get out." The shifter opened his mouth, probably to say how bad an idea this was, but he was quickly interrupted. "Leave us. All of you, now."

An uncomfortable silence settled in after the four men left. Bo continued staring at the door, completely silent and motionless, for several minutes. Looking at the Succubus more closely, Tamsin was surprised to see her features shift slightly into what looked like an expression of absolute exhaustion. Sadness, even. Bo was tired of everything, and she kept this well hidden from everyone.

As if reading her mind, the dark-haired woman again turned her blue eyes to the Valkyrie, not even trying to change her expression. "You done studying me?" Tamsin didn't bother to answer but instead lowered herself down on the ground again, attempting to at least maintain a sitting position. Her knees trembled like jelly and all her muscles were screaming in pain whenever she moved.

Bo stood up, wine glass in hand, and walked over to the Valkyrie who braced herself for another kick or punch. Neither came, she was surprised to discover. Instead, Bo crouched next to her and brought the glass to her lips, urging her to drink. She wouldn't at first, she was not going to break. The Succubus rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Tamsin? If we're even going to try and have a normal conversation, I'd rather you were actually able to speak," she insisted. "No strings attached, as the saying goes," she grinned, to Tamsin's surprise. To be honest, the Valkyrie did not really expect to see anything of the old Bo still alive after all this time, she did not think there was anything left worth saving, yet there it was, right in front of her. How much more of Bo is still in there, she wondered, her mind immediately going into third gear to start working on a new plan of action. She nodded slightly and accepted the drink, without a word.

As she finished, Bo kept looking at her, a sad look on her face. "I think you know just as well as I do that there are only two options going forward." Tamsin held her gaze, but refused to say anything just yet.

"Where is he?"

Tamsin shrugged. "Have no clue where your grandpa hangs out."

Bo chose to ignore the jab. "You know, there's been something bothering me all these years… Why did you leave, Tamsin? You could have had everything." She rose and started pacing slowly around the room, lost in thought. Tamsin was still silent. "You and I, we could have had everything. Together."

"Dude, do I fucking look like Hillary Goddamn Rodham Clinton to you?" the Valkyrie finally snapped. "You and me, together? Like you needed an extra wheel to your stupid geometrically shaped love life. And for what, Bo? To lead the Fae together – the formerly Unaligned Succubus and the fucked up Valkyrie – the Fae's new frigging power couple doing what, exactly?"

"Keeping the damn Fae on a leash and preventing them from offing each other and preying on humans, is what! That's a pretty good reason, wouldn't you say?" Bo shot back.

"And how's that working out for you, Bo?" Tamsin smirked. "Not so good, I imagine, seeing how I'm still alive and you're still trying to sell me on your little pacification project there," she scrunched her nose in defiance.

Bo sighed. "I'm asking you again: Where is he, Tamsin?"

"I don't know."

"You know I need both of you dealt with to end this thing." The Valkyrie nodded. She would have done the same if the roles had been reversed.

"Look, I really can't help you, I don't know where he went. I specifically asked him not to tell me where he'd go. We needed another ace up our sleeves, and another chance in case this battle went south. Which it obviously did"

Bo nodded. Tamsin watched the Succubus's expression change once again, any trace of exhaustion entirely gone and replaced by a wide smile. "All righty then. Then this leaves us with only one course of action, it seems."

"Yep," Tamsin agreed.

Bo continued staring at her for a few moments, still smiling. She nodded in agreement, then rose and headed to the table, her back on Tamsin.

"Tonight we celebrate your defeat. Tomorrow we break camp and head back to the city. Three weeks from now you will stand trial before the High Council and be found guilty of treason. Depending on how you choose to collaborate with the panel, we will determine the most suitable method of execution." Her voice was cold and even, as if she was reciting or reading from a book. "Is that clear?"

"As clear as fucking daylight, darling," Tamsin retorted, grinning madly like the Cheshire Cat.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone,**

**Just wanted to tell you all that you're the best. Just to put it out there, you know. You know who you are. You guys are seriously the best, and thank you for that! I'm honored to have such a crowd.**

**New chapter here, longer than the others. Hope you enjoy. And please let me know what you think, I look forward to reading your feedback and comments!**

* * *

Kenzi was pacing back and forth around the doctor, gesturing frantically and muttering something in both Russian and English, occasionally letting out a louder curse or rhetorical question in one of the two languages or in both in quick succession. Lauren, still seated at her desk in the medical tent, was rubbing her temples trying to get rid of a terrible headache and think clearly for a second. All those months she'd spent with Kenzi, she had picked up some basic notions of Russian and as she was trying to make out some of the words the dark haired girl was muttering, she realized that she was actually rehearsing her imminent conversation with Bo, to try and convince her to go easy on Tamsin.

Lauren really hoped Kenzi would be successful. They had talked briefly about it and came to conclusion that no matter what Tamsin had done, she was still Momma Kenzi's little T, and they had to do something to help her out. The doctor had left out the gory details when telling Kenzi about how the Valkyrie had been brought to camp, she knew that if the Russian learned the truth she would do something rash and probably make things worse. She had barely been able to stop Kenzi from storming out of the medical tent to see Tamsin right away.

"She'll never swear loyalty," Kenzi mused. "Blondie's just way too stubborn for that." Lauren agreed, but hoped the Valkyrie would have more sense than just tell Bo to go fuck herself. She was surprised she cared that much, really. She told herself that it was because of her humanitarian side opposing cruel punishments on principle; she was a doctor, after all. She told herself that Bo would gain more from sparing Tamsin and allowing the Fae to see she could be merciful and forgiving, even when it came to her biggest enemy, but who was she kidding – the Fae way had no room for mercy. She even told herself that if Tamsin would be executed, there would really be no turning back for any of them – it was a silly notion both she and Kenzi entertained, that while all of them were still alive they would eventually be able to find their way back to what it was like before everything went to shit.

It was for each and all of these reasons that Lauren wanted Tamsin to live. But deep down inside, she knew that it was more than that. Ever since she'd had that dream earlier in the day there had been something troubling her, an unidentifiable feeling of urgency, a sense of restlessness she did not normally have. She knew enough about obsession to realize that this pull she was feeling would not weaken if ignored; if anything it would grow stronger and take over, and she would eventually have to act on it and do something very, very stupid. So she had to try to figure it out now before it was too late. Better start with the stupid and get it over with, she decided. She had to see Tamsin.

Right when she had made up her mind, Kenzi stopped abruptly and slammed both her hands on the table, taking in a deep breath. "Ready, doc. Or as ready as I'm ever gonna be. C'mon, get your pretty ass up and let's go work your magic on the Succuqueen!" Lauren rolled her eyes. "Really, Kenz?" she acted offended but got up nonetheless. As they got out of the tent and made their way to the center of the camp, they noticed the celebration had already begun. Groups of Fae soldiers were going about, talking excitedly, eating, drinking and some of them even dancing in honor of Bo and the end of the war. She didn't know how, but Kenzi had magically procured two cups of alcohol and had handed one to her. The Russian drank it in one gulp. "What? It's for good luck," she explained, noticing Lauren's worried look. "You ought to do the same, skinny bum. Lord knows you gonna need it." She didn't wait to be asked twice and downed the drink, relishing in the burning feeling it left as it glided down her throat. "Whoa, easy doc, there's only room for one alcoholic in this relationship," Kenzi smiled.

They found Bo seated at a large table laid right in front of her tent. Her trusted guards still behind her, but looking slightly more relaxed than usual, Lauren noticed. Her eyes searched for Dyson, but he didn't seem to be around. She also noticed the blank expression on Bo's face, as if she wasn't actually there, even if she was smiling and nodding affably to the occasional Fae troop commander approaching her to express their congratulations.

Her eyes finally landed on Lauren and Kenzi, and she smiled, looking relieved. "Oh, there you are! Come on, join me, please," she called out to them, her smile brighter and her eyes their normal shade of brown, Lauren was surprised to see. They sat down on each side of the Succubus and toasted to the end of the war. The wine was sweet and strong, and Lauren felt it rush to her stomach as soon as she took the first sip.

"So, Bo-Bo," Kenzi started, taking a deep breath. The Succubus turned her head to face the small Russian and smiled. _Somebody was in a good mood this evening._

"I heard about Tamsin." One of Bo's eyebrows shot upwards, in anticipation to see where this was going. Kenzi swallowed hard and went on. "Look, I know the two of you haven't always seen eye to eye… okay, like never… but I'm sure she didn't actually mean any harm, Bo. I mean, there's gotta be a way to make this right!" Kenzi pleaded, hoping for a sign from the Succubus, who was just watching her without a word. "Right?" she tried again. "Let me go see her, I'm sure I can get her to… agree to anything she's supposed to agree to torture-free, being her momz and all," Kenzi almost begged.

"I'd rather you didn't Kenz," Bo finally spoke and her eyes flashed blue once again. "Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. But right now, tonight, I need you here by my side." She paused briefly, noticing the Russian cower under her gaze.

"To put your mind at ease, however, Lauren can check in on her or send a nurse to attend to her wounds. I'm sure that can be easily arranged," Bo added. "Wounds?" Kenzi asked, feeling scared, but Lauren interrupted.

"I can do it, that's fine. My nurses worked very hard today, they deserve the time off," she said, trying not to sound too eager. After all she had been trying to come up with a good excuse to go see Tamsin and the opportunity now presented itself courtesy of Bo.

The succubus studied her a few seconds, as if trying to figure out whether there was a hidden meaning behind her words, then nodded and turned her head to Kenzi. "Very well. See, Kenz, now there really isn't anything to worry about if our good doctor here will go check on your baby." Once again, she sounded so cold that Kenzi didn't dare to take this further. She just smiled and nodded in what was supposed to be a show of gratitude.

Lauren politely excused herself and headed back to the medical tent to get some supplies and some clean clothes. Judging by what she'd seen earlier, Tamsin was definitely going to need them.

* * *

The Valkyrie couldn't even make it to the mattress, she had collapsed on the cold, metal floor of the cage as soon as she was shoved inside. She wanted to ask the guard to at least remove the chains, which were getting heavier and harder to wear by the minute, but she couldn't find the strength to utter any words. The meeting with Bo had robbed her of the last ounce of energy and now she was feeling every cut and strain, every bruise like it was ten times worse. She realized she was breathing heavily, and the wheezing sound she heard every time she exhaled worried her a little – she was pretty sure one of her lungs was busted. Lying face down on the floor, her brain registered how the blood was pooling around her - she had probably tore open one of most serious wounds again - and she thought how this would totally ruin her armor… Oh wait, it was already ruined…

She allowed herself to slip into unconsciousness. A quick nap and she'd be back on her feet. Just five minutes, no more, and she'd feel better… As she passed out, she felt at peace to find herself surrounded by darkness and nothingness. She savored the feeling, and didn't know how much it lasted when the sound of a voice pulled her back and jolted her awake.

"You've let her fall asleep? Don't you know how dangerous this is if she sustained severe head trauma? She could die! Let me in right now!" Tamsin couldn't help but smile when she identified the voice.

"But, Dr. Lewis, we were told to stay as far away from her as possible…" the guard tried to explain. "And why should I care what happens to her anyway?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because she's a very valuable prisoner and Bo would have your head on a spike if anything happened to her on your watch?"

Tamsin couldn't see the two, but she could imagine the look on the guard's face just now. She heard the door lock popping open. The doctor had obviously won the argument.

"Just get out." Wow, the doc seemed to have really grown a pair since she'd last seen her, Tamsin thought. "Leave us, I have to attend to her wounds." Lauren's voice was closer now, she had definitely walked into the cage.

"Sorry, Dr. Lewis, can't do that. She's dangerous, imagine what would happen if she escaped. It took 4 berserkers and 3 trolls to take her down…"

"Actually, it was 6 berserkers and 6 trolls, but who's counting," Tamsin interrupted, in what she hoped sounded like her normal cocky voice. She also managed to move a little and turn her head to the door. Lauren turned quickly towards her, a look of relief on her face. "Good, you're awake," she said, reaching out right away to check her vitals. "Help me get her up," she urged the guard. "Come on, don't you stand there," she practically shouted as she noticed he was reluctant to go in. The man eventually gave in and helped Lauren carry the Valkyrie to the mattress. Tamsin kept silent all this while, but realized she had a stupid grin on her face as she was watching Lauren taking charge.

Satisfied, the doctor moved to her medical bag and started taking out bandages, a forceps, sewing thread and a couple of small bottles with unknown concoctions. Tamsin didn't know if she should be worried or not about the display. "Take off the chains and then you're free to leave us," Lauren told the guard while going through her kit.

"No. Dr. Lewis, this is out of the question."

Lauren stopped rifling through the bag and shot the man a cold stare. "Look, private. I know you've got your orders. But I know my job. I have to clean her wounds and I can't do that with her chained up. It's gonna be brutal and it's gonna be painful. I'm sure you can understand how nobody would want an audience when they have to go through something like that, can't you?" The man nodded slightly, starting to break. "Besides, look at her, do you really think she'd try anything? She couldn't hurt me even if she tried."

The soldier finally agreed and complied with Lauren's request. While she was still lining up the supplies she needed, he took the chains off Tamsin and walked out of the cage and the tent. "I'll be right outside, yell if you need anything," he said, giving both women a suspicious look.

"Will do!" Lauren said, feeling nauseous at how chirpy she had sounded.

"He's right, you know…That I'm dangerous. I could take you…" she paused to catch her breath and once again try to push the pain away, as far away as possible. "Take you… hostage and make my way out of here… Use my powers on you…"

"You wouldn't."

She raised an eyebrow as she noticed Lauren coming closer with a syringe that had a very long needle. "Wouldn't I now?"

"Fine," Lauren conceded. "You would but you couldn't. I developed a serum," she explained matter-of-factly.

"Of course you did." Tamsin was feeling proud. "And what's in there anyway, doc?"

"Something to help with the pain. But we'll need to take that armor off first."

"Jeez, doc. I bet you…" another pause for breath, and Tamsin cursed herself for her damn lungs ruining one of her epic one-liners. "Bet you say that to all the girls," she finished with a smirk. Lauren rolled her eyes and scoffed, and as she knelt down next to the mattress to help the Valkyrie remove her armor, she found herself thinking how easy this was. How easy it was to slip back into their usual bantering and teasing, which was what their relationship had been largely based on before everything changed. It was as if Tamsin was never gone and they were just picking up where they had left off. In all honesty, Lauren did not expect that at all. She was expecting tension, animosity even. She was expecting the Valkyrie to be angry and upset and make her feel guilty. _And I am._ _Guilty for staying_. _Guilty for wishing I'd left._ She looked at Tamsin, who had a strangely calm smile on her face. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"You'll have to teach me how to take this thing off," she said after scanning the armor briefly and not being able to find any seams or laces or even the slightest indication of how to remove the thing. Tamsin moved her head slightly to express her approval. "If you'll reach to the back…there are two clips under the shoulder blades…" Lauren leaned over and started feeling the back of the armor as Tamsin had indicated. Soon enough she found the clips, although they were so well hidden that they seemed to be part of the intricate design of the armor. They were right under two large slits in the backplate, which she realized were there to allow the Valkyrie's wings to come out unhindered.

"Now press them," Tamsin added and nodded as Lauren did as she was asked and the clips sprang open. "Got a couple… more on the sides. And the arm plates…" Her breath stopped as she felt Lauren's gentle fingers slowly pulling the breastplate off her.

Acting like she hadn't noticed, the doctor removed all the pieces or armor and lifted Tamsin's shirt to find the source of bleeding: a ghastly looking stab wound on the right side of her abdomen. It wasn't thin enough to have been made by sword, so Lauren concluded it must have been caused by something similar to a spear. It had gone right through the Valkyrie and it must have hurt like hell when it was pulled out, the doctor thought.

"Doc, you know falling asleep wouldn't actually kill me, even if I had a concussion, right?" Tamsin grinned. "I'd like to think it would take a lot more than that to get rid of me."

"Yeah, well, I do, but he didn't need to know that," Lauren whispered and gave a conspiratorial smile.

"Like how you're thinking," Tamsin grinned.

There were several other serious wounds on the blonde Fae's body, Lauren noted, many of them so severe that they would have killed a human being ten times over. But you never know with the Fae; that was one of the first lessons she had learned since she had started working with them – a lesson hard learned and never forgotten. Even now, as she was looking at the Valkyrie's bruised and battered body, she was wondering how come the woman was still alive, how come she was still speaking.

"I've had worse, doc," the Valkyrie whispered as if she had heard her thoughts. "I'm just… pissed those fuckheads ruined my armor…" she sighed. "Know how old that thing was?"

"Quite old, I imagine," Lauren muttered absent-mindedly "Damn right," Tamsin approved. She hadn't expected this to be so easy either. After her rebirth, and after getting Kezi back, Lauren had been the only person besides the Russian who made her feel safe enough to allow her more childish side come out so often. Lauren actually had a more maternal attitude, as she insisted on keeping up appearances and acting like a grown up, and perhaps this was one of the main reasons why Tamsin never even dared to hope their relationship could grow into something else. Which was pretty silly, she thought now, as she studied the doctor's clean cut features and intense eyes. She was almost older than time and acting like a teenager, for crying out loud.

"You're gonna need stitches. A lot of them, so a mild anesthetic is in order," the doctor said, breaking her reverie, and picked up the syringe again. "I'm going to count to 3, okay?" The Valkyrie nodded and braced herself. "One, two…" And the three never came as the needle plunged deep into Tamsin's abdomen and Lauren pushed the substance inside quickly.

"Ow! Seriously, Lauren?"

"Sorry but no time to wait, you've lost a lot of blood already."

"Admit it, you've always wanted to do that."

The doctor didn't answer, she just moved swiftly for the gauze and poured a lot of disinfectant over the injured area from one of the small bottles she had taken out earlier. She knew infection was actually a very distant possibility with most Fae, especially one with Tamsin's biology, but she didn't want to take any chances. Also, it was these small gestures so common in human medicine that made her feel still normal somehow, so she stubbornly clung onto each and every last one of them no matter how crazy or useless they were. Finally, after she cleaned the area thoroughly and was fully satisfied with the results, she started stitching. She knew that even despite the anesthetic, this had to hurt more than anything she had ever experienced. And Tamsin didn't even flinch. She never had. The signs that she was in excruciating pain were there, Lauren had come to know them during the months they'd been around each other more. A furrowed brow, a tiny quiver in her upper lip, a tightened fist. But never a cry, not even a gasp, no matter how terrible the wound. And despite the Valkyrie's bravado, Lauren was sure she had never seen her with more serious injuries than the ones she was trying to heal now.

Tamsin kept her eyes on the doctor at work for a long while before speaking again. "Got a strong feeling of déjà vu here, doc. How many times you've patched me up already? It's like no matter what we do, we end up like this."

"Are you calling me predictable and boring?"

"Well, not if I can help it," Tamsin replied smugly.

Lauren rolled her eyes and cursed herself for keeping up the pretense. She was pretty sure the Valkyrie was waiting for her to speak first, but she didn't know if this was to allow her to set her own terms or because the Fae wanted to make her feel bad. Not that she didn't deserve it. The thought startled her. It was wrong to think that. She had picked a side already, a long time ago, and if there was one thing Lauren was without any doubts, that was fiercely loyal.

For the second time that evening, Tamsin acted as if she had read her mind. She had sensed the struggle, the conflict consuming Lauren, and decided to speak out before the doctor would be too scared to do so. "How have you two been holding up? How's Kenzi?" The question hurt more than Tamsin had imagined – it was painful to both her and the doctor, but just like a Band-Aid, it had to be ripped and got out of the way before moving forward. She knew how bad she had hurt them when she left without even saying goodbye. And now it didn't even matter how much they'd hurt her when they refused to even consider that she might have been right about Bo.

"She's fine… all things considered…" Tamsin shot her an inquisitive look. "I mean the war and everything…" Lauren clarified. "She's with Bo now, pleading on your behalf." The doctor paused and stared at the Valkyrie, carefully weighing her next words.

"I'm not sure you realize how hard this was for all of us, Tamsin. When you left, we were dumbfounded. Bo was mad, Kenzi was on the brink of a nervous breakdown again, and I… I had to pick up the pieces, in a way. And then Trick left and I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be that shoulder everybody would cry on…" Lauren was shocked by the words coming out of her mouth, actually. She hadn't intended this to be a heart-to-heart. But she couldn't stop now. Tamsin was watching her silently, waiting for her to go on. "I broke down. And I hated you for it. Trick too. You didn't have to watch things change every step of the way, so slow at times that it would drive you crazy. Maybe it would have been better if it had happened overnight. Less time to plan, more time to react…" her voice broke down when she realized what she had just said. Tamsin knew very well what the doctor was talking about. She had her regrets – she was the master of guilt after all, but if she hadn't left when she did, she would probably have been where Lauren and Kenzi were now, and with no one crazy enough to challenge the Succubus's authority. But if she hadn't left, she'd still have a place among the people she loved. Even if they didn't love her back.

She wanted to say something, to explain herself, to say she was sorry, but she didn't get a chance to, as Lauren started talking again, while putting the finishing touches on her stitching job. "Anyway, it's over now. Kenzi's talking to Bo, and you know her," Lauren grinned, "she won't stop till she gets Bo to show mercy and spare you. You'll live, Tamsin. You'll be all right."

Tamsin knew that she wouldn't, but she did not say anything about that. She was determined to let Lauren have her moment, yet the last words she had spoken had angered her beyond the point she could control herself. _There goes nothing…_

"Doc, I swear, for someone who's supposed to be so smart, sometimes you say the dumbest things."

"Excuse me?" Lauren's eyebrows shot upward. If this was supposed to be a joke, she wasn't laughing.

"You say it was hard for you. And I'm not contesting that, I really ain't. But guess what? It was hard for me too. Did you even, for a second, stop to consider what it was like for me? Boo-hoo, how the little humans suffered. Why didn't you leave, huh? If not with me, with Trick? You could have taken Kenzi and run away, as far away as possible." Wow, she had managed this whole little speech without once pausing for breath.

"And where was I gonna go, Tamsin? Like the Fae were just going to let us leave? You know this is not how things work with your kind," she spat back angrily. "Where were we going to go?"

"Oh, don't give me that crap. You could have come find me anytime. I would have protected you. Hell, I would have dropped everything to keep you guys safe, even this bloody stupid war! Bo can rule all the fucking Fae in the universe for all I care. Anything as long as you'd be safe!" The doctor was shell-shocked. When Tamsin started insulting her, she was furious, but not surprised; she had been waiting for all that anger to burst out eventually. But the Valkyrie's comment had caught her off guard, and she realized she had never heard the woman admit to caring so much, and doing it so freely like it was the most natural thing in the world. All of this after having worked so hard to turn her 'don't-give-a-shit-about-anyone' policy into a shiny badge of honor.

Tamsin registered Lauren's response and softened her tone. "You're fooling yourself, Lauren… It was your choice to stay, your choice to stay here and let Bo fuck you senseless, apparently still with a little wolf junk on the side," she said bitterly.

The doctor felt the blood drain from her face, and tears started swelling up in her eyes, but she looked up and held Tamsin's gaze defiantly. She would be better than this. "I'd appreciate it if you stopped talking about things that don't concern you," she said calmly, while continuing to clean the Valkyrie's wounds as if nothing had happened. Some of the cuts were already beginning to close, she noticed with that scientific part of her brain that always came to the forefront when she felt her emotions getting the best of her.

The Valkyrie didn't respond immediately. "Wow, doc. You really did let her break you, didn't you?" she said eventually, in such a low voice that it was almost a whisper. "A while ago you slapped me for a whole lot less than this."

And she was right, Lauren knew, but she couldn't bring herself to openly admit it. "We're seriously going to do this now?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable topic. "With me practically holding your life in my hands here?" _A tad too dramatic, maybe…_

"Yeah?" Tamsin scoffed. "Well, do your best, doc. I'm sure there'd be nothing to it, seeing how I'm as good as dead anyway."

_Nothing to it, nothing to it… _the words rang through Lauren's head, reminding her of the dream, and she allowed that feeling of safety and calmness she had experienced wash over her. She quickly fought it off, though, because it was wrong. It was wrong of her to come here, she decided abruptly. She should have sent one of the nurses.

All of a sudden, she wanted nothing more than just get out and as far away as possible from everybody. Tamsin felt the shift in Lauren's attitude, she sensed how agitated the human doctor was becoming and acted immediately. She moved her hand gently over Lauren's and held it there, despite the doctor's immediate reaction to pull back. "I'm sorry I hurt you. And Kenz. I'm sorry I was such a bitch just now, I didn't mean to." Lauren again tried to move her hand, but Tamsin wouldn't let it go.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," she said, but Tamsin knew it wasn't. "It was a normal response to your… current situation," Lauren went on when the Valkyrie didn't reply. "Anyway, I'm done cleaning most of the wounds. I've bandaged the large one on your side, please make sure you don't move too much so you don't tear the stitches, and I'll check up on you again in the morning," she said, finally removing her hand from the Valkyrie's soft grip. Tamsin studied the doctor's handiwork and nodded approvingly. "Thanks."

"Oh and before I forget, I brought you some clean clothes," Lauren said as she reached inside her bag and pulled out a pair of green scrubs. "It was the best I could do on such a short notice," she apologized, noticing the look on Tamsin's face. "Want me to help you get changed?"

"No, doc, it's fine. I feel better so I'll do it, just leave'm there. Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it." She tossed her supplies back in the bag and moved to the door of the cage. "Well, I guess that's all for tonight, I'll let you get some rest now, you definitely need it."

"Actually, doc, there's one more thing, if you can." Lauren turned her head back and noticed the Valkyrie was half sitting already. "Oh?" "Kenzi. Please don't let the half-pint visit me yet. I don't want her seeing me like… this. Give me a couple of days to heal," she almost begged. The look on her face broke Lauren's heart a little; as she was staying there on the dirty mattress, her clothes torn and bloodied, her whole body covered in bruises and cuts, Tamsin looked as helpless as a dying animal. "Sure," she nodded, and walked out of the cage. The guard was back inside the tent as soon as he heard the metal door creaking open and moved swiftly to place a large padlock on it. A second lock and a heavy chain were added for extra security.

Lauren had watched the man intently, apparently to make sure the prisoner was properly contained, then shot Tamsin a brief look through the bars and moved to the exit. The Valkyrie followed her with her eyes and once the doctor was out of her sight, she let out a deep sigh. This was not going to be easy. She felt like she needed a crash course in human psychology. In Lauren's psychology to be more exact. _Lesson #1: How to mend a broken doctor._


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it took me ages, but here it is, finally. Chapter 6, in which I attempt to lay the groundwork for future developments. And build some personal Valkyrie-related myths in the process. I look forward to seeing what you guys think.**

**Thanks again for all the comments, reviews and favorites. Your support is overwhelming.**

**The usual disclaimer applies: I don't own Lost Girl or any of these characters.**

* * *

Nobody knows how Valkyries are reborn exactly. It's one of the best guarded mysteries in Fae history, and even the oldest, most knowledgeable members of this supernatural society would not be able to give a clear answer. At best, they'd be able to present two hypotheses, neither of them backed by actual proof, but at least given some sort of legitimacy by their age. If nobody knew how long they'd been around, there had to be some truth about them, right?

Theories abounded, though. Tamsin didn't think this whole rebirth thing was such a big deal to the other Fae until she discovered that every century or so, a new theory popped out, claiming to be the one true explanation to the mystery, the only one you'd ever need to unlock the secrecy shrouding one of the world's oldest and most venerable Fae species. _They always forget mentioning 'almost extinct…'_ Tamsin thought to herself.

She was lying on her back on the mattress after having successfully changed into the hospital scrubs Lauren had brought her. She felt ridiculous in the outfit. "Get Dr. Carter down here, I need 5 CCs of epi to the heart, stat!" she had tried cracking a joke but the guard just shot her a confused look and tightened the grip on his handgun. "No, nothing?" she finally asked. "Oh, man, how can you NOT have watched ER?!" she scoffed, while the soldier was doing his best to ignore her. He too had probably been told not to engage with her or go anywhere near the cage. This new guard was dressed in modern camouflage clothes and was armed to the teeth with what looked like state-of-the-art, equally modern weaponry. The Valkyrie was relieved to see they'd given up the medieval costumes – that was seriously one time in history that she did not want to revisit. Like, never. Just like the previous guard, he was wearing some sort of modified contacts – most likely specifically designed to deflect her abilities if she tried using them. She had seen several high-ranking officers in Bo's army wear these, and she made a mental note of asking Lauren about them; the doctor definitely had something to do with the design.

Seeing that the guard had no intention of indulging her and making conversation, the Valkyrie just went back to the mattress and managed to lie down, although her every bone and muscle was protesting the effort. She hoped she'd be able to get some sleep but instead found herself thinking about Valkyries and their rebirth.

Some theories suggested that Valkyries were reborn out of light – that whenever they would die, a blinding ball of light that came out of nowhere would consume their corpse and remold it into a toddler. A living baby born of ashes. Which sounded so heroic that Tamsin was practically gagging whenever she thought of the possibility.

Other scholars had hypothesized that Odin himself would descend upon a Valkyrie's dying place and breathe new life and vigor into that battered body so she could continue her mission and serve her creator. The theory had its merits, but it failed to explain A) how come the Valkyries were not coming back as adults, but as babies and B) why they had a fixed number of life cycles. After all, the one-eyed old fool could just snap his fingers and allow them to go on forever. It would have been more… sanitary and efficient, Tamsin thought. Why bother going through the whole rebirth thing if you'd be back to square one every goddamn time, and apparently with no lesson to learn. It didn't make sense.

One of Tamsin's personal favorites was the one attributing the rebirth to Odin's ravens rather than to the great Norse god himself. The ravens were thought to descend to Midgard on the tail of a comet, picking all sorts of cosmic elements along the way, to remold the fallen Valkyrie. Tamsin had always felt close to Huggin and Munnin, who were incredibly smart and great conversationalists, but they had absolutely nothing to do with the process – let alone even try to put back together the body of a reborn Valkyrie using nothing but stardust and dark matter.

The truth, in fact, was far from being so glamorous. A small trace of it could be found in each and every one of the most popular theories, if you knew where to look, but the rebirth process was nothing like those romanticized stories and myths that the whole Fae culture was so crazy about. If it wasn't in a book twice the size of a detailed compendium of British monarchs and their close and distant relatives, then it wasn't worth knowing.

Tamsin could now remember each of her rebirths with astounding clarity. That hadn't always been the case, as the whole process was so confusing and messy that only bits and pieces were left, especially after being filtered through the eyes of a newborn who had the dormant mind of an ancient creature. But now that this was her last lifecycle she found herself remembering things she had thought long forgotten, and she could remember them in such vivid, clear detail as if they had happened yesterday.

This last time, she had been lucky that Dyson found her. She hadn't always been that lucky in the past. She had come back to nothing and no one to look after her too many times to keep count. Coming back as a newborn, there wasn't much she could do than cry and yell at the top of her lungs until she'd pass out. She would wake up a little older, still yelling and crying, but also hungry, naked and cold, and more confused than ever. Gradually, she would be able to move around a bit, her survival instincts kicking in and practically forcing her to look for food and shelter. There wasn't much of either on a battlefield, which was where Tamsin had died more deaths than she liked to admit. Eventually she would cuddle next to the body of a fallen soldier, most likely a soldier she herself had killed before being taken out by a lucky shot, and she would cry herself to sleep again, gnawing on the only edible thing she could generally find in the vicinity – a bone with a few strips of flesh still on it. She never knew if it came from a horse or a human or other animal that had fallen in battle. She didn't want to know, but as soon as she was old enough to speak she would refuse to ever swallow any kind of meat ever again.

The memories were coming back in bits and pieces, fortunately. If they had come back all at once she would have had an aneurysm within 48 hours of her rebirth every time and burned through all of her life cycles like a bloody mayfly. By the time her body fully matured she would remember most of it. But not like now. Even several years after the rebirth, she was still remembering. Sometimes the memories came back so violently that she almost passed out. She could now confidently map out almost her entire existence to date, in a non-linear sequence but still.

However, no matter how hard she thought, there was one spot her mind could not penetrate. It felt like a void of sorts yet a full one, as strange as it might sound. She sensed its presence, but no matter how she tried to approach it, she was never quite able to grasp it. Almost like it had been put under lock and key. She pondered what it was for a while, she even went to see doctors, witches and a Fae shaman for help. The shaman gave her a strange potion to drink that tasted like crap, chanted an incantation but then freaked out all of a sudden and practically kicked her out of his house. He begged her to never come anywhere near him again. She was too surprised to protest at first, and when she went back for explanations the next day, there was no trace of the man and his family, all 40 of them, left anywhere. That was the last time she asked for help or tried to look into that hidden corner of her mind. Some things are better left asleep. And if someone had gone through so much trouble to put whatever that thing was away and bury it so deep inside her mind, they must have had a damn good reason, the Valkyrie reasoned. She didn't spend too much time thinking about it after that.

Her mind drifted to how she had come to be in this situation. In all honesty, Tamsin hadn't set out planning to be taken prisoner – her initial plan was quite simple and straightforward: go to war, fight, get to Bo and kill her or die trying. But Bo wasn't on the battlefield. Her lapdog was, so she did her best to hurt him badly enough that the succubus would show up eventually and seek revenge. That didn't work, and her soldiers were dying in high numbers, so she was left with only one choice. Embark on what was most likely going to be the most stupid, desperate kamikaze mission in Fae history and allow herself to be captured, beaten, broken and humiliated, in hope that somewhere along the way she'd get close enough to Bo to take her out. Or die trying.

So yes, there was a pattern there. No matter what path she'd choose, it would inevitably end up with her dead. For good this time. That was actually the biggest ace up her sleeve if all else went to shit. Just like the rebirth process, the final death of a Valkyrie was shrouded in mystery. The fact that the very few people who had witnessed such a singular event had not survived to tell the story only made the secret more inaccessible. When their time came, most Valkyries simply disappeared from existence, everybody knew that. What was less common knowledge was that they retreated someplace remote and without a living soul anywhere around them for miles, not necessarily because they wanted to keep the nature of their demise a secret, but because they didn't want any innocent bystander to get hurt.

And hurt was an understatement here, Tamsin thought. A Valkyrie's last death was hard to put into words. She had witnessed the event only a handful of times in all the thousands of years she'd been around, and the closest term of comparison she could think of was 'like Hiroshima, only with less smoke and screaming.' That's because nobody had time to scream. It had the same magnitude as a nuclear disaster only that it looked more like a gigantic implosion that sucked the sound and life out of everything and everyone on a few mile radius. It was as silent, sudden and inescapable as death in space.

So when she'd been dragged in front of Bo, Tamsin was quite at peace with herself and her decision. She had to get Lauren and Kenzi out first, and seeing the doctor's reaction to her public humiliation at the hands of the wolf shifter was exactly what she was hoping for: that the human would still care, that she would still have her annoying common sense to tell her that was wrong, despite what everybody else seemed to think. Once the humans would get out of harm's way, she would do her best to kill Bo, and if she would survive the attempt, Tamsin wouldn't complain. If not, she'd just let them kill her and her death would take the succubus with her. Along with the rest of her stupid puppet council.

Well, that until she realized there was still something there of the old Bo that was worth saving. No matter what she'd gone through, there was still some part of the real Bo hanging tight, waiting for the first chance to break out, to reclaim herself. And Tamsin had to try, she owed it to Bo and Lauren and Kenzi. She owed it to herself. She was pretty sure the bond they had, which was still there, although weak and hanging by a single thread, could be used to bring back that part of Bo and exorcise the Valhalla out of her friend, along with anything else that had hitched a ride to the real world on her back. The doctor would know what to do, for sure.

Tamsin wasn't delusional. Even if this new plan was successful, that wouldn't mean everybody would live happily ever after. She was certain she would die anyway, and that was all right, her death would mean something this time. It would bring Bo and everything else back to normal.

The only problem putting a rather major dent in her plans was that right now, after seeing Lauren again – the wonderful, impossibly beautiful, impossibly stubborn Lauren -, Tamsin really didn't want to die anymore.

* * *

When she had let the prison tent after seeing Tamsin, the doctor's head was spinning with all the unasked questions she hadn't had the chance to bring up. She was angry at herself for allowing the Valkyrie to get under her skin so easily, but who was she fooling? It wasn't like she had put up much of a fight. She was angry at herself for not bringing up the dream; that was the whole reason she had decided to go see Tamsin personally anyway. Or was it?...

Lauren was confused but she wasn't stupid. Tamsin may have been once good at hiding what she was thinking or feeling, but not in this last life. The doctor had figured out that there was something more to how Tamsin was looking at her and treating her, even before the war, before she'd left. Neither of them had ever said anything and how could they? Lauren herself wasn't entirely sure she wasn't imagining it, maybe the Valkyrie was just playing with her like she did with everybody else, in that exasperating way of hers of acting and talking that made it impossible to tell when she was serious. If she was ever serious at all.

The doctor was actually relieved and grateful Tamsin had never said anything about what was between them either, that had definitely saved both of them a world of embarrassment. The answer would have been 'no,' of course. What other answer could there be with Bo there? Yet if she were to be entirely honest, she had always been intrigued. Intrigued by how someone so arrogant and annoying could also become one of the sweetest, most caring creatures she'd met, all in the span of five minutes or less. In all the years working with human and Fae patients, rarely had she seen one so inconsistent in behavior. The Valkyrie sometimes switched between emotional states with the fervor and frequency of a madly swinging pendulum. It was strange and, based on their previous interactions, totally uncharacteristic of the blonde Fae – the doctor was well aware Tamsin had been anything but fickle before her last rebirth.

She wondered if it had to do with this being her last life cycle or if it was Kenzi's influence. But then it hit her: Tamsin was only acting this way around her. Connecting the dots was easy then. The Valkyrie had feelings for her. And by the looks of it, she was struggling to keep them under lid.

And judging by how their 'reunion' had gone down just now, those feelings were still there. Lauren didn't know how to react, so she just ignored the elephant in the room, as she did before. But what made it worse was that unlike before, when she was just flattered and maybe a little curious, the doctor found herself considering what it would be like to reciprocate those feelings. What it would be like to be loved by Tamsin. The idea scared her, it was wrong to even think it. Not to mention way too late.

Lost in thought, she allowed her feet to carry her back to her own tent instead of heading back to the celebration and Bo. She was sorry she had to leave Kenzi there alone but she just couldn't put up with anyone right now, especially that there would be questions about Tamsin and her injuries, and the last thing she wanted to think about now was the Valkyrie. She needed to clear her head and figure out how to put all those wrong thoughts away for good. She needed Valium and a lot of sleep.

To her great chagrin, the universe seemed to have other plans in store. As she turned a corner, she bumped into the familiar figure of a tall man clad in dark clothing. Dyson. Just the person she really didn't want to see.

"Lauren, hey," he said in his trademark low voice.

"Oh Dyson, hi, sorry, you startled me…"

He ignored her comment and eyed her suspiciously. "What are you doing here? Are you heading back to the party?"

"Actually, no, I was going to head back to my tent, try to get some sleep…" She paused, waiting to see if he'd say anything. He didn't but there was something in his attitude that urged her to go on. "It's been a very long, tiresome day…"

"That it has been, indeed," he nodded. "You did well today, Lauren. A lot of good people will get to see their loved ones again due to you. Myself included."

She shifted her weight uncomfortably and just smiled. "It was nothing," she managed eventually. "Being my job and all…"

"How's Tamsin?" he asked abruptly. The question caught Lauren off guard. She knew it shouldn't have because sooner or later she was bound to report to someone about the Valkyrie's state, but she just hoped it would be later rather than sooner. She hoped she would have more time until she'd have to talk about it. The encounter had felt so personal that she surprisingly found herself unwilling to share any of the details just yet. So her response to Dyson's question was not necessarily what she had intended it to be, and it certainly wasn't the healthiest course of action for her – a mere human caught up in a Fae war.

"Do you even care?" she retorted sharply. To her surprise, Dyson lowered his eyes and made a long pause before answering. He seemed remorseful somehow.

"Look, Lauren, I know that… display earlier was not something you'd condone. And normally I wouldn't either, but it was necessary."

"It was barbaric, that's what it was," she raised her voice, throwing caution to the gutter.

"It's war, Lauren, you of all people should know. Our team needed the morale boost. She would have done the same," Dyson countered.

"I don't know why but I highly doubt that. She's one of us, Dyson, no matter all the bad blood between us. I mean, don't get me wrong, do I think she betrayed us, betrayed Bo? Yes! Does she deserve to be punished? Yes again! But she didn't deserve… that," she ended, disgust and disappointment seeping through her voice.

She was aware she was letting it all out on Dyson but thinking that it should have been Bo there, at the receiving end of her anger, not him. The thought made her sick. She considered briefly whether to continue or not and eventually decided in favor. _What the hell, too late to back off now…_ "She let you live, Dyson."

The shifter had a confused look on his face and opened his mouth to ask for an explanation, but there was no stopping Lauren now. "Your injuries, they were bad, yes. But they were carefully calculated, none of them serious enough to actually kill you. Tamsin wanted to spare you," she finished smugly. _Why was she enjoying this so much?_

The shifter stared at her in disbelief for a while, a hint of regret washing over his face. He nodded, but kept silent.

"Fine," she sighed. "She was hurt pretty badly, but with the proper care and plenty of rest she'll be okay in no time. She'll live."

"Good," he said after a long pause. Something changed in his attitude then and a vicious smile crept across his face. "Gotta say, Lauren, that last remark was pretty coldhearted, even for you," he snickered. "She won't live… well, not for long anyway," he added when he noticed the confused look on the doctor's face.

"But… but that's ridiculous… you can't…" was all that Lauren managed to get out.

"It's already done," he said, satisfied he'd gotten his payback. "Bo called the council, they'll convene in three weeks to decide how to execute her. Until then, she'll be thoroughly interrogated and we'll learn everything she knows about the resistance and where Trick might be hiding."

"You mean tortured," Lauren said coldly, trying to ignore the overwhelming hurt and anger that ripped through her so violently that all she wanted to do was smash Dyson's face in.

"That's one way of putting it. But she's a big girl, she can take it." The doctor was too shocked to say anything else. Dyson waited for a while, but seeing that no reply was coming, he gave her a nod and turned to leave. He took a few steps then stopped abruptly as if he'd just remembered something, "And Lauren," he started, turning to face the doctor again, "it's time to man up. Bo wants you to oversee the interrogations… make sure the prisoner stays alive until the execution."

The doctor was grateful she hadn't eaten much that day. Her stomach revolted and as soon as Dyson was a safe distance away she started throwing up, allowing all the vile things that had happened in the last 24 hours to pour out of her along with all the alcohol she'd had.


	7. Chapter 7

"Look, Bo, we're not… I mean, I'm not trying to challenge you in any way or undermine your authority here…" She paused briefly, carefully considering her next words. This was so not like her, it used to be so easy before, when she could just spit whatever thought crossed her mind, no matter how stupid or immature. It made most people underestimate her, which was a very useful advantage when trying to pull a con. Not Bo, though. Bo always knew what was under her carefully constructed appearance. Strip away the boots, the corsets, the wigs and there she was, the Kenzi nobody ever really knew. Except her best friend, that is.

But now it was different. As Bo changed, she had less and less patience for Kenzi's quips and jests, and the Russian was forced to change as well. Her jokes were more tentative and she generally avoided making any in Bo's presence anymore. Not that the Succubus had ever reacted badly to them… just that she didn't really react anymore.

Like right now, when Kenzi wasn't even sure if Bo was actually listening to her. She had retired early from the celebration, the Russian girl trailing behind her in hope she'd be able to bring up the Tamsin situation again after being cut short earlier. Back in the main tent, she sat down on Bo's bed and watched her for a long time before daring to speak again.

The Succubus had already changed into more comfortable clothes and was now standing in front of the large table in the middle, studying the map closely. Eventually she sighed and with only one gesture tipped over one of the chess pieces on the map. She scoffed and continued staring at the ensemble. The piece she'd taken down was the black queen, Kenzi noticed. She wondered briefly if that piece stood for Bo or for Tamsin on the map, and for a second she considered asking the Succubus, but eventually decided against it. She wasn't sure Bo would know the answer either.

"Kenz, could you get me the duffel bag from under the bed?" The question, asked in an even, inflectionless tone, broke the silence and jolted the Russian back to reality.

"Sure thing, honey," she said brightly, reaching for the black bag and carrying it to Bo. The Succubus opened it and looked through it for a while until she found what she was looking for: a medicine tube with some dark yellow pills and a vial with a greenish liquid. The bag was full of similar tubes and bottles, Kenzi noticed. Bo popped a couple of pills into her mouth and washed them down with the green liquid. She didn't say anything but judging by the look on her face it had a dreadful taste.

"Umm…how's the treatment coming along? Is Lauren still working on it?" Kenzi eventually got herself to ask.

Bo just nodded and sighed again. "Yeah, but I'm not sure if she'll ever break this one. I think I've literally tried all the possible treatments, and even some that sound like the stuff of science fiction. Nothing seems to work. So with every day that goes by I try to come to terms with it and accept things as they are." She paused to take another look at the contents of the bag and then zipped it closed in emphasis. "My chi is poison, Kenzi, and that's that. Instead of being a life force, it's death and pain and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't' even know why I bother with the pills anymore."

"Well, at least you got an alternative – always trust your wonder vag to get you out a tight spot," Kenzi quipped before realizing she should probably not have made that comment. But Bo didn't say anything, she didn't even give her that familiar stern look usually reserved for the Russian's antics. Instead, she went back to Kenzi's initial query.

"You were saying something earlier. What was it? Not Tamsin again, I hope?" she said in that bitchy, cruel tone she could use when she really wanted to hurt someone.

Kenzi gulped, not too loudly, she hoped. "Actually, it was. There's gotta be another way, Bo. You can't have her executed.'

"And why not? She's a traitor."

"Be that as it may, but she's still our little T, Bo. You know she's pigheaded, but c'mon, this is Tamsin we're talking about, what did you expect?"

"Oh, Kenz," Bo shook her head and sighed. "That time is long gone. Little T is long gone. She's hurt us all time and again since then. She's changed, and so have we, Kenzi. Besides, there are rules. She has to stand trial for treason, and the council wants her dead to end this thing once and for all."

"But, Bo, you ARE the council. You can stop this."

"I can't, even if I wanted to. I have to give them what they want. It would be a sign of weakness if I didn't, Kenz, and why can't you just trust me on that?" she finally snapped and turned to look at the Russian girl, who was stubbornly staring at her own feet, avoiding Bo's gaze.

"Look, I know the theory, okay? I know that a true leader must be also able to show mercy, even to their greatest enemy. But this is not the case here. The Fae don't need a merciful leader, Kenzi, they need someone who can make the tough decisions and not look back. They need someone who's not afraid to make those decisions, no matter the consequences. They need me."

Kenzi was still looking down, but nodded slightly. "Yeah, Bo, I just thought that…" she finally found the courage to look at the Succubus and there she was, the shadow of a smile on her lips, and blue eyes burning, staring at her and waiting for the next move, like a giant, feral cat circling its prey. "Never mind. No, I get it, Bo." She sighed and reached out to take Bo's hands in her own. She was not surprised to discover they were cold. "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?"

Bo smiled. "I knew you'd come around, Kenzi. You're the only one I can trust to understand this, to understand me."

"Oh, honey, you know I always got your back. Always."

* * *

Trick was not having a good day. His hand, or rather the ghost of his severed hand, hurt badly, and the fact that he hadn't slept in a while was finally taking its toll by inflicting him with a tremendous headache. The kind of headache no amounts of pain medicine or any Fae concoct could cure.

He couldn't remember ever feeling so useless and hopeless. The day of the great battle, only two dozens of soldiers or so came back, and they were bringing grim tidings. Most of them killed, many of them had defected and fled to join Bo's ranks and Tamsin had been taken captive.

He had returned to camp after the battle began, despite the Valkyrie's request that he stay away. He just couldn't, this was his fight as much as hers, maybe even more, so he just couldn't hide and do nothing. So he took the elders to safety and came back, ready to face anything. Not this definitive defeat though. For the first time in his life he realized that being the Blood King didn't mean anything anymore. His blood did not work against Bo – she was family, after all, and while he was quite versed in hand-to-hand combat, his skills were far from being proficient enough to make much of a difference in an actual battle.

So he did the only other thing he had ever been good at and buried himself in ancient books and scrolls, looking for prophecies, spells and any possible solutions to the crisis, while what remained of the rebel army's commanding officers were planning how to break Tamsin out. Trick wasn't sure she was even alive anymore, but the one reliable source they still had in Bo's camp had assured them that she was, and that she had been transferred to a former Dark Fae maximum security prison, where she was to be interrogated and then be executed for high treason in a few weeks. At least that gave them plenty of time to hammer out the details of their rescue operation, although to be fair, it sounded more like a suicide mission to Trick. He listened to the commanders laying out their strategy, but refused to take part in the planning process and eventually returned to his books and tomes, convinced that the solution, or at least part of it, was there.

The days were going by fast and he shut himself from everybody else, burying himself deeper and deeper into the ancient texts. There was only one person he tolerated in his vicinity – to be entirely honest he actually enjoyed the company but he wouldn't have admitted it in a thousand years. He accepted her help gratefully although he had never asked for it and she had never offered; one day she'd just showed up and sat down on his couch without a word, beer in one hand, a large book in the other and started going through it carefully so as not to tear its thin ancient pages.

"What?" she asked, feeling Trick's eyes boring into her.

"I never would have pegged you for the reading type," he said, smiling politely.

"Now you've seriously offended me, old man. I'll have you know that I read the whole Harry Potter series before it was published and cut to half of its initial length," Evony scoffed.

"I think what you're reading there might be a bit more complicated than Harry Potter," Trick added, feeling his patience growing thin.

"Oh would you relax already? I know what I'm doing. Besides, if I hear any more testosterone-filled victory boasts or battle cries, I might just do that succuslut a favor and wipe out the whole lot of them. Here is better. At least it's quiet."

Trick didn't say anything but just nodded and adjusted the light on his desk so as to also reach Evony. She rolled her eyes and went back to reading. She didn't really have the power to wipe out anyone anymore, Trick knew, but that didn't seem to matter to her anymore. He couldn't blame her, really. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to wake up human after centuries as Fae, but he was pretty sure he would not even be able to get out of bed in the morning. You had to hand it to Evony though: this was not her world anymore, but she was not going to give up easily. In her opinion, she was still the legitimate ruler of the Dark Fae, and she wasn't going to allow the small matter of her being human stand in her way. So even if reluctant at first, she chose the only side that made sense to her: the one that could eventually, hopefully lead to Bo's removal and Evony's reclaiming leadership of the Dark.

Since joining them, she had generally stayed away from both him and Tamsin and took no active part in the fight, acutely aware that without her powers she was as useless in battle as a homecoming queen. So Evony showing up unannounced and helping him with the research now was quite a surprise.

What surprised him even more was that she was actually an excellent researcher and had a perfect intuition of what book would be useful or not. At first he was skeptical but he soon came to trust her picks entirely. Sometimes she was choosing books that seemed to have nothing to do with the current situation or anything else, but as he continued watching her, he realized none of these picks was random and that each one led to the next. So when she came to him asking if he had an obscure Arab text dating back to the 2nd century he was surprised that she had even heard of it and couldn't help wonder how that could possibly fit with all the rest. He handed her the volume without asking any questions, he knew better than that by now.

The book had been written by a very old Baal Shem Fae on his death bed. He was blind and had been his entire life, but as he neared his end he began recounting his adventures and writing them down in perfect calligraphy and drawings without any help from his apprentices. He had been alive for thousands of years before finally expiring in the year 168.

Evony took her time with this one, she read each page carefully, all the while scribbling down something in her notepad and letting out a "hmm" now and then. Trick still didn't ask a thing. But a few hours later, she finally got up and headed straight to his desk, practically throwing the book in front of him.

"You're gonna want to take a look at this," she said pointing to the open volume.

"Why, what did you find?"

"Just look," she said drily refusing to provide any explanation.

And he did. The right-hand page had a hand drawing of two beings. One was a fair-haired maiden who looked fully prepared for battle, as she was dressed in leather armor and carrying a long silvery sword in her right hand. She was depicted back to back with a strange creature, also female, that reflected the woman's pose entirely, but instead of white skin, there was a grayish blur, the flaxen hair and green eyes were replaced by fiery red, and the armor and sword were made of flames. The tableau was completed by a white horse and a fire-breathing dragon in the upper corners of the page: the horse was on the side of the maiden warrior and the dragon was hovering above the other creature. The drawing was a wonderful piece of art and Trick couldn't help but notice the amazing colors and amount of detail that the work displayed.

"It is, indeed strange to find females depicted as such in an Arab text in general, Fae or human, especially in a book this old... And correct me if I'm mistaken but it looks like these two are representations of two of the Horsemen, which is even stranger..."

"You're not wrong. But I'd take a closer look if I were you."

He looked down at the drawing again, this time studying it more carefully. If he looked close enough, he could see some strange markings on the warrior's armor, and in the flaming sword of the red spirit. As he tried to decipher them his eyes fell once again on the face of the blonde maiden and he literally felt his jaw drop. Evony just smirked and nodded slightly.

"Now read," she said in a commanding tone. Normally he would have been irked by the tone but right now he couldn't care less. He started reading eagerly, and although he was struggling a bit with some of the words and ancient phraseology, and got carried away admiring the exquisite calligraphy, the overall meaning was quite clear.

"Are you sure?"

Evony nodded. "Positive. Crossed all the t's, dotted the i's, so on and so forth. It's her all right. And as much as I hate to admit, and as risky as it will be, it looks like this is the only chance we've got left to deal with your succubus granddaughter and put an end to this once and for all. I swear, this war is giving me the most serious case of heartburn…"

Trick got up so abruptly that he knocked his chair down but didn't even bother to pick it up. He stormed out of the room and didn't stop running until he got to the training area, where the rest of their army was still practicing and planning for their mission to retrieve Tamsin from captivity.

"Officers," he said in his most commanding, kingly voice and everybody stood to attention right away. "Whatever you have to do, whatever you have to sacrifice, you have got to recover the Valkyrie immediately. Alive and unharmed, no matter what it takes. Understood?"

"Understood, Your Highness," the highest ranking officer replied and saluted.

"Very well. You shall leave tomorrow at dusk," he ordered and nodded in satisfaction as the officer approved. "Better be ready by then or else we're all doomed," he added sullenly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Here goes Chapter 8, in which the words "Fuck Bo" are finally uttered. About time.**

**And my Chinese obsession is making a brief appearance.**

**Thank you for reading! And please let me know what you think.**

* * *

She was pretty sure she'd fucked up big time.

When Lauren didn't show up to check on her in the morning, as promised, she was just mildly worried. After all, the doctor always kept her promises.

But her concerns deepened later in the morning, when one of Lauren's nurses stepped into the cage, flanked by two guards, instead of the doctor herself. The nurse, a small Asian woman of uncertain age, checked on her wounds without uttering a single word. She did her job thoroughly, resisting all of Tamsin's attempts at conversation. The Valkyrie even tried talking to her in Mandarin but the woman just shot her a brief, amused stare and returned to applying unguents and replacing bandages, undisturbed.

Tamsin just rolled her eyes and settled for watching the nurse at work. The woman was probably a Pi Tong, a member of a very old and proficient Chinese Fae healer clan, which meant she was in very good hands. The Valkyrie knew from experience that once a Pi Tong was given a task they would stop at nothing to complete their assignment successfully and cure their patient, sometimes at the expense of their own health.

The woman left, and the cage door was again locked and chained. At least they hadn't tied her up anymore, which allowed her some freedom of movement. Physically, she was already doing a lot better, healing quite faster than usual thanks to the careful treatment she'd been getting. Psychologically though, it wasn't that simple. She was getting more and more restless, as the afternoon came and there was still no sign of Lauren. A part of her was wondering if something had happened to the doctor, and she vowed over and over again that if this was the case, she would make them all pay. Each and every last one of them. Another part of her brain though was quite certain she'd scared the doctor off with her attitude the previous day, thus dramatically diminishing her chance of ever making things right by the human.

For a while nothing happened, and Tamsin remained lying down on the mattress, thinking and listening to the clamor outside, as the Fae were packing up, getting ready to head back to their homes. Shortly after noon, a bunch of guards showed up accompanied by a short dark-haired man dressed in Indian garb, a bright smile on his face. He stopped in the middle of the tent, a safe distance from the cage, and stood there smiling pleasantly. He even nodded politely in her direction, and she found herself nodding back, probably because he was the only person who'd actually acknowledged her presence in the last few hours.

The guards chained her again and took her out of the cage, leading her in front of the man, who still had the same immobile, affable smile plastered on his face.

"All right, is everybody ready," he asked in a thick Indian accent.

Tamsin opened her mouth to speak but didn't get to utter a single sound as the whole world around her turned blurry and then she and the guards were surrounded by darkness for a few seconds before she felt everything going upside down. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, preparing herself for the end of the journey. _Motherfucking travel fae,_ she cursed in her head, _a warning woulda been nice._

When everything stopped spinning she counted to five and opened her eyes to a brightly lit room, still flanked by the guards from before, who seemed equally dizzy. She blinked repeatedly so as to get her eyes used to the light and to give her time to gauge the surroundings – they were in a wide room, with a high ceiling and metal finishes, and strong neon lights shining brightly on every corner and crevice, leaving nothing hidden from sight. There were no windows and only one door, which made one's escape possibilities quite limited. Despite the modern look and feel, this was nothing short of a dungeon, and the Valkyrie definitely knew a dungeon when she saw, or rather smelled one, for even the sturdy metal walls and the layers of concrete and brick could not entirely filter out the smell of wet soil and earthworms, the typical scents of any underground holding place. On one side of the room, the farthest from the door, was a holding cell made of reinforced steel and armored glass, which was most likely going to be her new home for the next few days. Tamsin was relieved to discover the cell was larger than the cage and even had some amenities, like a proper bed and a sink.

As she was shoved inside unceremoniously, she noticed the modern locking system on the door – an electronic biometric lock, as well as the fact that the whole room, her cell included, was packed with security cameras, motion sensors and other alarm systems ready to go off and alert everyone in case she'd try to escape.

Dizzy from the journey, hungry and tired, her mind once again drifted to Lauren and why she hadn't showed up. She wouldn't have admitted it openly, but she was already panicking, thinking of the worst possible scenarios. It killed her that all she could do was wait. So she did her best to wait. At first, she just sat down, cross legged, as still as possible, trying to rein in her emotions. Eyes closed and motionless, she soon realized that this wasn't helping, so she got up as quickly as her wounds allowed her and started a simplified workout routine. Nothing too complicated, just some squats and pushups – anything to keep her mind off the doctor. Her whole body hurt like hell but she wouldn't stop. Focus on your pain so you won't have to focus on your feelings. That always seemed to do the trick, why wasn't it working now?

A beeping sound from the security camera in her cell made her look up to notice that the surveillance equipment had been turned off. That can't be good, she thought, continuing her pushups, her whole body tense and ready to spring into action if necessary. She heard the main door open and then the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Tamsin, stop! What did I always say about working out after a serious injury? You're going to tear your stitches!"

The familiar voice washed over her, filling her with a strange sense of joy, like a kid going to the fair for the first time in their life. So she just stopped mid-pushup and eased herself on the floor, rolled on her back and started laughing heartily, to Lauren's dismay.

"Well, glad to see you're doing better. Looks like you don't need my help after all..." the doctor grinned.

"Yeah, well, I'm healing alright. Superior biological makeup and all that. But still, am I glad to see you!"

"Oh, are you now?" Lauren asked as she leaned forward and placed her face in front of the biometric scanner, which made a beeping noise approvingly and unlocked the door.

"Hell yeah. To be honest, I thought I'd screwed up so badly you wouldn't want to see me again for the rest of your life. I was worried sick," she smiled awkwardly. She still couldn't believe it was so easy to open up just say what was on her mind. Around Lauren at least.

The doctor entered the cell, looking at Tamsin with a strange smile on her face, and a raised eyebrow "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I treated you like shit yesterday, so I wouldn't blame you. I was angry and... hurt, and... sorry I took it out on you, it wasn't your fault," she mumbled the last words as if she was embarrassed someone would actually hear her.

Lauren stared at her for a while, not sure how to respond. She found Tamsin's honesty rather disconcerting and she couldn't help wonder if there was an ulterior motive behind it. "It's okay, you don't have to keep on apologizing, really…"

"Actually I do. Must be getting mellow and shit in my old age," Tamsin smirked back.

The doctor chuckled lightly, and the Valkyrie grinned stupidly, feeling her heart swell. "Well, if I'm here might as well check on your wounds," Lauren said, ignoring the look on Tamsin's face. She worked in silence and was happy to see how much better the Valkyrie was doing already. Most of the cuts were almost completely healed, the deep gash on her side was looking well, and the stiches still held, while her entire body, although still covered in bruises, looked stronger than the day before. She nodded approvingly.

"That Pi Tong you sent did one hell of a job."

"She did, she's really amazing."

"Not very talkative though."

"Yes, I know," Lauren grinned widely. "She did say your Chinese is horrid though."

"Hey! That's just insulting. Tread lightly here, doc, others have seen my wrath for far less," she joked. "Besides, it's really not that bad. I think," she added, shrugging, and for a second Lauren saw her as she was a few years ago after being reborn: sweet and childish and careless.

They both laughed, but the doctor stopped abruptly, remembering where they were and what she was doing here. "Sorry I wasn't able to check on you this morning, as promised. I was…"

* * *

She was with Bo, doing more tests to determine if the treatment had any effect. She was with Bo, hoping she'd be able to sway her decision on having Tamsin tortured and killed. Hoping selfishly she would be allowed not to take part in any of it, and failing entirely. Kenzi had warned her, but she tried nonetheless, wanting to see for herself, hoping stupidly that Bo would just listen to her. She hadn't, of course. She sounded a bit annoyed for having to explain it again, but she did, presenting Lauren with all the right arguments. Why Tamsin had to be interrogated. Why she had to die. What terrified Lauren was realizing that if it had been anybody else but the Valkyrie, she would have agreed with Bo.

"I can't understand why there is no progress, after all this time!" the Succubus sounded almost desperate.

"I know, Bo, trust me I'm working as fast as I can," Lauren said calmly, sealing shut a vial with Bo's blood and another compound she wanted to test it with, and placing the tube in the centrifuge. "Let's hope this works," she muttered, only half-convinced.

"It'd better. Ugh, I'm so sick of this! My chi used to be a force of good, you know, heal people, bring them back to life even… and now it's not only useless, it's tainted! I can't breathe life into anyone anymore, Lauren, do you have any idea how frustrating that is? All I can do is fuck them better, which I would say was a very, very bad joke, or a poor premise for a porn movie, if it wasn't actually real!"

Lauren was completely silent and still, pretending to read a report. She knew better than trying to engage in the conversation or interrupt the Succubus when she was venting.

"Are you even listening to me?" Bo asked sharply, slamming a fist against Lauren's table in frustration. The doctor flinched visibly and looked up.

"I am, Bo, and as I said, I'm doing everything I can. I'm sure we'll find out very soon what inside your body is turning all the chi you suck into poison…"

The Succubus was already not listening anymore. "Are you afraid of me, Lauren?" she asked abruptly. "Because honestly, you shouldn't. I'd never do anything to harm you," Bo added, a bit impatiently.

"No, Bo, of course not, I know," she said reassuringly. "It's just that I have a lot on my mind, with the war and…"

"It's Tamsin, right?" Bo stared at her so intensely that Lauren started feeling her ears burning. She tried to look puzzled, but wasn't sure she pulled it off.

"Because I thought we were done with this, really. I mean, I can understand Kenzi obsessing about it, but you… you never liked her much anyway," the Succubus finished with a scoff.

"It's just that… it's wrong, Bo. I really fail to see how having her tortured and killed serves the greater good."

"Lauren, I thought I made myself clear. How can I ever hope to keep all Fae united and in line if I don't deal with my opponents swiftly and decisively?"

Lauren was again silent, wondering if she should press on or not.

"Or maybe…" Bo added after studying Lauren for a while. "You've been acting strangely since yesterday afternoon, when Tamsin was brought in, and your aura has a strange color. Is there anything else I should know about?"

"What?" Lauren tried to act appalled at the suggestion. "Good goddess, Bo, absolutely not."

* * *

"I was needed elsewhere," she said eventually, not wanting to tell the Valkyrie she was with the Succubus and wondering why she felt like she had to keep it a secret.

"No worries, doc. It's not like I was going anywhere. I'm just glad you're here now and you're okay," Tamsin said sincerely and once again Lauren felt her heart sag.

Well, now was as good a time as any, she decided. She leaned closer to the Valkyrie, pretending to check a cut on her forehead, and whispered so quietly that Tamsin almost missed it. "Help me break you out."

"What?" Tamsin mouthed the word instead of saying it out loud, until her brain finally caught up and realized what Lauren said and the implications of that statement.

"I need you to help me help you escape," Lauren said a bit more loudly.

The Valkyrie didn't say anything, she just continued to stare at the doctor in disbelief. Her first instinct was to say yes, sure, let's get out of here, me and you, and we'll go get Kenzi and run away for good. But she couldn't. As stupid as it sounded, she had a mission. She studied the doctor for a while before speaking. Something was troubling her, something that wasn't there the previous day.

"What changed," she finally asked. "Since yesterday, what changed?" she explained, noticing Lauren was hesitant to answer.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is getting you out." Tamsin wouldn't have any of this though. She continued staring at Lauren, head cocked to the right, until the human gave in. "Fine, you're right, you deserve to know," the doctor said eventually.

"See, I knew I didn't even have to use my powers to make you talk!" the Valkyrie joked, but Lauren just shot her a hurt, sad look. "Shit, sorry, doc, I should really learn when to put a sock in it," she whispered, almost ashamed.

"Tamsin, there's no easy way of saying this, so… Bo's having you executed, she's made up her mind and there's no changing it," Lauren spat out the words in hope that if she said them fast enough the reality behind them would vanish just as quickly. She waited for a while to see if Tamsin would say anything, but the Valkyrie was just staring at her patiently, with an unreadable expression on her face.

"So Kenzi and I… we talked this over and umm… we even came up with a plan to 'bust you out,' as Kenzi put it," Lauren started, while Tamsin was watching her in complete silence. "But we need your help… your advice, if you will… on how to take care of the guards and disable the wards on this place. There are some traps here I haven't seen before, so we reckoned you may be more familiar with them… this being a Dark Fae prison and such. And once you're out, we'd have transportation waiting, and weapons, of course. I'm not sure if we can get your own weapons back, but those will have to do, right? And then…"

Tamsin watched Lauren getting carried away with her planning and scheming and felt a wide smile spread across her face. She could almost believe it was possible. Escaping, running away with the humans, making a life for themselves away from this whole Fae bullshit.

"Assuming this works… you and Kenz, you'd be coming with me, right?" she interrupted, maybe a bit too eagerly. But she didn't have to wait for Lauren to speak to know the answer, the look on the doctor's face was more than enough. "Ah." She couldn't help feeling disappointed, although she knew she had no right.

"I can't, Tamsin, we can't," Lauren almost pleaded with her, begging for her understanding. Why did she care so much what the Valkyrie thought? "We have to stay, we owe it to Bo…"

_Okay, time to take the gloves off, doc._ The nice way wasn't going to cut it, Lauren was too far gone.

"FUCK BO!" Tamsin's response was so violent that it almost knocked the doctor down. "Fuck Bo, fuck Dyson, fuck Trick and everybody else. Fuck them all! You don't owe anything to anyone other than yourself, all right? Stay here any longer and you will lose yourself forever!" she almost shouted. "Just go, Lauren, take Kenzi and go as far away from here as possible," she added bitterly after pausing for breath.

Lauren lowered her head in shame. She was perfectly aware that Tamsin was right, but if she ran, if Kenzi ran, who would there be left to look after Bo? To cure her, to bring her back. If she could even be brought back. "I wish it were that simple, Tamsin, but it isn't. It's very, very complicated," this was the only excuse she managed to get out.

Tamsin didn't answer right away. She just stared at a distant spot, somewhere outside of her cell, grinding her teeth and biting her tongue to hold it together. "See, I don't believe you," she said eventually. "You knew about my execution yesterday, when you first came to see me. You were in denial, sure, but you knew! And you had no intention of breaking me out then. So I'm going to ask again, what changed?"

The doctor was silent, and she still couldn't find it in her to look at the Valkyrie.

"And while we're at it, Lauren, how'bout you tell me why you came to see me last night? Why didn't you send the Pi Tong from the start? Huh? Why are you here now?" Tamsin was relentless, hurling her questions at Lauren as if she were throwing punches, but it was too late to stop now. The human had been avoiding the truth for far too long, and the only way to get her to admit was by driving her into a corner and not letting her move away as much as a single inch. "Why the fuck are you here?" she repeated, in a cold, intimidating voice, just one step away from unleashing her Valkyrie. She hated having to do this. But she couldn't think of any other way.

"I… uh, I…" Lauren sighed in frustration. "I'm here because I want you to live, Tamsin," she said simply. The words made Tamsin's heart break and her resolve falter, but it didn't matter. It couldn't, not when the only thing she heard at the back of her head all the time was how she had no time anymore. _It's too late. It's too late, doc._

But none of that came out. "Lauren, I want you to fucking listen to me. You don't owe Bo a fucking thing, you're delusional if you think otherwise. If anyone owes her something that's me. Me, doc. I'm the one who took the job, I'm the one who tracked her down, I'm the one who triggered the shitstorm that caused Kenzi's sacrifice. I'm the one who dragged Bo to Valhalla and back, along with whatever it is that followed her here. None of this would've happened if it weren't for me. So I owe it to her and to everybody else to make this right, no matter what it takes."

"What does this mean?" Lauren whispered, afraid of the answer.

"It means that I'm not going anywhere, Lauren."

"What? But you… you can't, she'll have you killed and you'll sacrifice yourself for…"

"It's all right. Of course she'll have me killed. I'd do exactly the same," Tamsin replied with a smirk, hoping the doc wouldn't see the lie.

"I don't know why I'm having a hard time believing that," Lauren snapped back, moving away from Valkyrie.

"You don't know me. You don't fucking know anything about what I would or would not do, Lauren." The words came out harsher than she intended, but she tried to convince herself it was all for the best. If she wanted the doctor to run away to safety, to get away from Bo and the Fae, she had to play the bitch card. Just like she did when she told her about the kiss with Bo. Lauren didn't understand at the time, and maybe she wouldn't understand now either. Back then, Tamsin hoped that by making Lauren put some distance between her and the Succubus, it would make the pain of losing Bo easier to bear for the doctor. You can't suffer too much when you lose something that isn't yours anymore, right? The theory seemed sound enough. But it was utter and complete bullshit, she had had the chance to find this out for herself.

"Maybe," Lauren nodded, and there was more sadness in her eyes than Tamsin could ever recall seeing. "Maybe I don't fucking know you. But this war has claimed enough already, so you know what? Fuck you, Tamsin, and your stupid fucking mind games! You wanna die? Suit yourself then! See if I give a shit."

_About fucking time, doc._

Neither of them said anything else for what seemed like ages. They didn't even look at each other. Tamsin was sitting down on the bed, her fingers doing a rhythmical tap dance on the metal frame. Lauren had got up and was slowly packing up her medical supplies, one by one.

They spoke at the same time – two brief confessions spoken with complete honesty at the same time and with the same number of words.

"They want me to torture you," the doctor admitted eventually, just as Tamsin said, "I am not worth saving, Lauren."

The Valkyrie looked up and for the first time since she'd known her, Lauren thought she saw something that looked like fear, maybe, in her eyes. "They call it interrogation, but it's torture, I don't have to tell you how that goes, you've been through enough wars to know. I'm supposed to oversee everything and make sure you'll live through it. For the next three weeks, until your… execution." The word had a strange ring to it, precise and distant, as if it was happening to someone else, someone you read about in the paper. She took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling, trying to compose herself before continuing. "It seems you have to be in perfect health when they'll have you killed," she scoffed in disgust.

"Yeah, well, Bo is trying to make a point. And what pride is there in executing a half-dead Valkyrie?" Tamsin said eventually in a calm, even voice.

"How can you be so calm? Is this just a game to you?"

Tamsin shook her head bitterly but didn't speak.

"You have to run, Tamsin. Kenzi and I, we'll cover for you the best we can, we'll buy you enough time… we, we…" Her voice trailed off, eyes still pinned to the ground. "And don't ever say you're not worth saving. No matter what you did, no matter what happened, you're still… one of us."

Tamsin got up suddenly, walked to Lauren and caught her in a tight hug that surprised the hell out of both of them. They stood there for a while, Lauren fighting the urge to push the Valkyrie away, conflicted about how good and honest this felt, and Tamsin wondering if this was a new kind of stupid on the very long list of stupid things she had done in all her lifetimes. The dead Valkyrie and the enslaved doctor. It sounded like the title of a shitty B movie. Not that she cared, really. Lauren in her arms was all she had wanted for a very long time. _If I could choose the moment when I go out for good, this would be it._

"You can't cover for me, I won't have that," she finally whispered, still holding Lauren tight. She was surprised the doctor wasn't struggling to push her away. "You're gonna get yourselves killed is what you'll do. She won't take lightly to this treason."

She felt Lauren's chest rise and fall in a deep sigh. "You have to take Kenzi and run, I've got a safe place where you can hide until this shit blows over."

"Blows over?" Lauren said eventually, slowly pulling herself away from Tamsin's embrace.

"Yes, doc, I'm going to make this right, I promise. I'm not gonna run away again. But you have to go, and get as far away from here as possible, I can't have you around and in danger. And you most certainly can't be around here when I…"

"When you die? Is this what you were trying to say?" Lauren's voice was so sharp that it made Tamsin cringe.

"Lauren, I… I've lived enough."

"Don't say that!" the doctor hissed angrily.

This confused Tamsin greatly. She could never get a clear reading of the doctor and what she wanted, but right now, it felt a lot like Lauren was goading her to react somehow, to get closer. She chuckled lightly.

"I swear, doc, all this beating around the bush… I mean, I've always enjoyed good foreplay but this is too much," she grinned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, shut up," Lauren said, smiling. They stared at each other for a while, aware that they were setting foot on uncharted territory for the first time in their relationship. "Why is it always like this with us, Tamsin? Why do we always circle each other, coming closer and moving apart right away? Why do we fight when we actually want the same thing?"

The words were spoken with such candor that Tamsin felt her heart break into a thousand pieces. "Yeah, been wondering about that myself. Maybe we're too much alike, as crazy as it sounds. Maybe we just can't see what's in front of us."

"You never said anything."

"Would it have made a difference if I had?"

They both knew the answer to that question. Lauren looked down and sighed. One thing was for sure, she indeed couldn't see what was in front of her. It was the story of her life, really: always oblivious to what was going on around her, oblivious to Bo's changing until it was too late, oblivious to Tamsin.

She made up her mind right there on the spot.

"I'm not running away either. I'll stay and see this to the end. It's my fault as much as anybody else's."

"Lauren…"

"No, my mind is made up. Whatever you need me to do to help, I'll do it. Anything."

There was a steel determination to her decision that Tamsin felt she couldn't go around. This was probably the first time Lauren had opened out about how wrong things were under Bo and how she wanted to help.

"Fine," she said eventually. But if you stay you have to do exactly what I say. And when I say so, you grab Kenzi and run, okay? These are my terms."

Lauren nodded in approval. The resolve in her eyes was unmistakable.

"Anything?" Tamsin asked.

"Yes."

"Good. Then what I need you to do, Lauren, is do what they say. I need you to torture me."


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry about the long wait! My job is driving me insane. **

**So I actually tried to make it less gruesome than originally planned. I think I might have pulled it off. Any thoughts, opinions, insults or any other forms of feedback are much appreciated. **

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Tamsin was giving herself too much credit. Her usual cockiness could only take her so far, and she was reminded of this the hard way, on the fourth day of questioning. She took it lightly the first day, even on the second, confident that no matter what the Succubus would throw at her, she could take. Hell, she'd been tortured more times she could count. She'd been through the worst kinds of pain imaginable and lived to tell the tale.

But she was wrong this time. Wrong about how much pain she could suffer with Lauren there. Wrong about how much of her pain Lauren could suffer. She could see it on her face, the terror in her eyes at every punch, every kick and lash and cut, how the human squirmed at the thudding sound of every blow to her body. Watching Lauren made the pain more unbearable and more likely to break her. The first cracks appeared on the third day of torture, when she broke her vow of silence. She had sworn she would not say a word, she would not cry out in pain, and at first she succeeded. But her determination went down the drain on the third day. It was just two words, that was all, but it already felt like treason.

The first day was easy. She was led to a room that looked a lot like a police interrogation room. It even smelled like one, and the table in the middle had enough circular stains from countless coffee cups to make Tamsin wonder if it had been indeed used in a police precinct before being dragged to this Dark prison.

The guards strapped her to the chair, double checked that she was tied securely and then left. She was alone for maybe 10 minutes before the door slammed open and two large men came in, followed by Lauren. The doctor kept her eyes on her at all times, as the two men – both of them Berserkers, one of whom Tamsin recognized as having been part of the group sent to take her down on the battlefield -, pounded on her relentlessly, pausing only to ask her about Trick and the rebels. She took every punch with dignity, an arrogant smirk playing at the corner of her mouth, her eyes glued to Lauren's face all throughout the interrogation. It was too much for the doctor though.

"Okay, that's enough," she blurted out, interrupting one of the Berserkers mid punch. He turned towards Lauren but didn't actually have time to say anything because Tamsin rammed herself chair and all into his back, tumbling forward with all the strength she could conjure. She drew blood, although unintentionally, when his face hit the floor. Her grin grew bigger when the two started going at it again, raining heavy blows on her body in a rabid fit. She was half passed out when Lauren intervened again, almost yelling this time. "I said that's enough!"

* * *

"Why did you do that, Tamsin? Earlier, when I was going to stop them, why did you attack them?" she asked, while gently washing the blood off the Valkyrie's bruised face.

"It was too soon. You gotta be careful not to stop them too soon or they'll grow suspicious."

"Tamsin, this is stupid, if I can't stop them soon enough you…"

"Trust me, okay?" She put her hand over Lauren's in reassurance. "I'll be fine, just make sure you don't treat me too nicely out there."

Lauren sighed and nodded. She had a haunted look on her face – a mixture of sadness, fear and complete exhaustion, which was not necessarily something uncommon of the doctor, but she looked worse than Tamsin remembered seeing her in quite a long time.

"When's the last time you had some sleep, doc? You look like shit."

"Aren't you a charmer," Lauren joked, tucking a strand of Tamsin's hear behind her ear. _To see the cuts on her face better._ "Anyway, sleep is overrated. And I've got a lot of work to do."

"Right. Still running tests on Bo?" Lauren just nodded. "I remember you started after we came back and her chi was all screwed up. Any progress on that?"

"Afraid not. It actually got worse, she can't breathe chi into anyone without killing them. She has learned how to use her healing abilities on others through sex, but you can imagine how that can be a bit… impractical," she added awkwardly.

"Ya think?" Tamsin scoffed, but mentally slapped herself right away when realizing how uncomfortable the topic was making Lauren. "Hey, crazy thought, but did you ever think of testing her blood against mine?" _The change of topic to the rescue._

The doctor frowned and shook her head. "Why would I do that?"

"The way I figure, this whole chi problem started after we went to Valhalla. So my theory is that whatever, whoever caught a ride on Bo's back while we were making a run for it with Kenz, be that her father or not, is poisoning her from the inside somehow, slowly taking over. I know, I know you don't believe that possession crap," she said hurriedly, raising a hand to stop Lauren from protesting. "But doc, you don't know Valhalla and all the worlds in between there and here. That place… it can do things to you, horrible things, while being also a worthy candidate to the most coveted #1 spot in the universe's 'Top 5 Places To See When You're Hopefully Dead.' So, you can't rule anything out. Let's face it, Bo's not been herself for longer than any of you realized. When I left, I wasn't sure what would become of her, but seeing her again… she's still in there somewhere, Lauren, she's still fighting. And she needs all the help she can get. That means from the inside as well. No, let me finish," she added when Lauren opened her mouth to speak "I've been thinking, doc… you need Valhalla to reclaim that darkness that's taking over inside her. And the only piece of Valhalla you're gonna get in the near future is me, so… better start testing."

Lauren stayed silent for a while, processing. The Valkyrie could almost see the equations and numbers moving around in her head, trying to assess the validity of the theory.

"Fine, it's worth a try, I suppose," she declared eventually. "The bond between you two may help. Only faint traces of it are left, but it's still there. And oddly, what you just said makes sense," she smirked.

"What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis? I always make sense," Tamsin laughed and stretched out her arm waiting for the doctor to draw her blood.

* * *

The second day of torture, she was taken to another room. This one looked more like a traditional dungeon: it was round, with walls covered in large square slabs of stone and with tall windows secured with thick metal bars. There was no furniture whatsoever, just shackles tied with heavy chains to the walls and the floor. Tamsin was made to kneel in the middle of the room, rusty shackles locked tightly around her wrists and ankles to prevent her from getting up or moving her hands.

The person who came in with Lauren was a tall, slender young woman with dark hair and bright blue eyes – so blue they almost seemed white. She was dressed plainly in jeans and a black tee. Tamsin studied her curiously, not sure what to expect. She didn't know what kind of Fae the woman was, but Lauren had a very concerned look on her face. The Valkyrie bit her lip to prevent herself from cracking a stupid joke about how that little girl had no way of torturing her other than subjecting her to a karaoke evening of horrid Japanese pop music, as if there was any other kind. Biting back the joke was probably a wise decision, because when the woman touched her Tamsin felt all of a sudden like every bone in her body was struggling to tear itself apart from the other and from the muscles and tendons keeping them in place.

It was just a brief, light touch, but enough to make anyone lose their mind. Not Tamsin though. She had been through worse. Half an hour later, teeth grinding and sweat glistening on her skin, she was having serious doubts that she'd ever actually been through anything worse than feeling every cell of your body obliterated and put back together over and over again.

She just tried to block everything out, something she was usually very good at. She kept her eyes on Lauren the whole time, hoping that would make it easier somehow. It didn't. Seeing how hard it was for the human doctor to put up with what was going on made her heart break even harder and the pain unbearable.

Tamsin wasn't trying to fool herself. Objectively speaking, she knew Lauren didn't love her. Not really. She had some feelings for her, sure, but to call these love would have been a huge overstatement. Tamsin suspected Lauren fancied her in a way, yes, that was a good word, but the feeling was largely based on pity. Pity for her current condition. For being the only one who had figured out what was going on with Bo before anybody else. Which brought Tamsin to the other reason Lauren probably felt something for her. Bo. Because the Valkyrie was convinced that Lauren was actually projecting on her everything she no longer had with the Succubus, as a way of deflecting her frustrations and how miserable and trapped she was feeling in the relationship.

Perhaps the doctor wasn't even realizing it. It didn't matter though. Some time ago, Tamsin wouldn't have settled for anything less than true, unbridled passion. But now it made no difference. If Lauren's pity or projecting meant that the doctor was finally breaking free from the Succubus's hold then Tamsin was happy. Nothing else mattered. The Valkyrie was marked for death anyway so Lauren not actually loving her was for the best. All she had to do was care enough to act.

When the torture ended that day, Tamsin was not able to control any muscle or bone in her body. She was dragged back to her cell, a shapeless lump of meat, sweat and saliva, bubbling incoherently. Lauren stayed with her until she started coming back from the catatonia-like state she had been pushed in by the pain. She only left later that night, when Tamsin was already able to move and utter simple sentences.

* * *

On the third day she tried to keep her eyes shut the whole time, as she was hanging head down and swinging like a sack of meat with every punch thrown by her executioner. When she started choking on her own blood her eyes involuntarily shot open and met with Lauren's terrified gaze. They looked at each other, Tamsin gasping for air, and Lauren too scared to even move. She snapped of it pretty soon and moved to stop the interrogation but Tamsin just shook her head slowly to warn her not to intervene. _Not yet_. She managed to catch her breath eventually, as her body's swinging came to a steady halt.

"Where is the Blood King?" The brute asked again. He was huge, probably almost 7 feet tall, and was packing the muscles of an entire battalion of Navy Seals.

This time she just couldn't take it. Not anymore.

"Fuck. You." It had sounded a lot more satisfying in her head.

The response was a heavy blow to her liver, followed by a knee to the head and a deep cut on her left arm with one of the man's silver daggers. She already couldn't see much, as the whole world around her seemed to be swimming in a pool of blood. She didn't even realize when Lauren stopped the interrogation, she just woke up in her cell some time later as the doctor was trying to clean her wounds. She opened her eyes to a dark-haired head hovering strangely above her face, looking extremely worried.

"Tam-Tam, honey," the other person started when Tamsin started showing signs of life again.

"Doc, I thought we had a deal. What the fuck?"

"You try stopping her, maybe you'll have better luck. Lord knows I've tried," Lauren scoffed.

"Young lady," Kenzi began in a very official, motherly tone, "you didn't honestly think you could keep me away for so long. Easy, blondie, easy," she added quickly, noticing that Tamsin was trying to get up.

"Nah, it's not as bad as it looks, Kenz," she lied. "I've definitely been through worse. Fuck, I honestly thought I'd never see the light of day again after the Norman Conquest."

Lauren looked positively impressed and for a moment considered asking again how old Tamsin really was. But Kenzi just gave her a bright grin and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug that only made her pain worse yet she didn't say anything.

"I missed you, douche bag. So much. Aaargh, I was really starting to lose hope I'd ever see your smug mug again!"

"Ya, you and me both, halfling. I've missed you too," she sighed, leaning her head against Kenzi's shoulder. "How're you holding on?"

"Dude, I'm the one who should be asking you that! Seriously, it's not too late Tamsin, you can still make a run for it, especially with Bo away…"

"She's gone? Where?"

"Don't know, she said something about some rebels being captured in the north, so she went to check it out." Kenzi sounded almost relieved. "How else was I gonna…"

"Get down here to see me," Tamsin finished the sentence for her.

The Russian girl just nodded. "Yep," she said, popping the "p."

They all sat there, making awkward conversation, not sure how to pick off after all the time they'd been apart. Lauren was still patching Tamsin up and Kenzi was trying to help her out, not actually paying attention to what she was doing and generally managing to get in the doctor's way rather than actually helping. The Russian girl eventually just gave up and settled for watching Lauren at work. Her eyes shifted from Lauren to Tamsin and back, witnessing the almost mute communication between the two. She noticed how Tamsin gazed at the doctor when she thought nobody was looking. How Lauren's cheeks flushed red when she told Tamsin she'd have to take her shirt off to let her check on the rest of the wounds and the Valkyrie made one of her usual half-crass, half-sweet comments.

"Shit, you guys," she muttered under her breath when she realized what she was seeing. When she realized what Bo would do if she ever found out. The Valkyrie heard her though and gave her a reassuring smile. Or half a smile given that the other half of her face was heavily bruised.

"It'll be alright, Kenz. One way or another, I'll sort this out, I promise."

"Don't. You can't promise that Tam-Tam. You can't know what will happen."

"Kenzi, listen to me. I know what I'm doing. Ancient little brat with an attitude the size of fucking Jupiter, remember? Well, I'm not arrogant for nothing, yaknow. I'll make this right, just trust me."

The Russian girl sighed and patted Tamsin on the shoulder gently. "It's not you I don't trust, kiddo. Just… be careful, both of you, okay?"

* * *

The fourth day of interrogation was by far the worst. She was led back to the room that looked like a dungeon, stripped naked and chained again to the floor, her arms spread apart and tied to the walls. To make things worse, Bo was there, right next to Lauren. The Succubus was all out, her eyes shining blue and a self-satisfied smirk on her lips. Lauren was standing perfectly still, keeping her eyes on the wall behind Tamsin, pinned to a spot somewhere above her head, doing her best to avoid looking at the Valkyrie's naked body. Bo had no such qualms though, her gaze never leaving Tamsin.

"It's such a pity, really," she sighed dramatically. "Why on earth would you willingly subject such a perfect body to such torture?"

Tamsin rolled her eyes. "Keep it in your fucking pants, will ya?"

"You're funny, Tamsin," Bo laughed. "Don't flatter yourself, darling. I just came here to see if you're ready to talk yet."

"Fuck off, cunt," the Valkyrie replied, grinning. _Not very imaginative, but it would have to do._

But the Succubus just laughed again, unfazed. "Yep, a real comedian this one. Too bad we'll have to wipe that grin off your face."

Bo was actually quite angry. She didn't show it yet, but it was there, brewing slowly underneath her calm exterior, threatening to erupt into a tornado anytime now. She was angry and worried because Tamsin wasn't talking. Because the rebels up north had evaded her and there were rumors that Trick still had a strong following getting ready for war. If only the Valkyrie would break. And that seemed increasingly unlikely, Bo thought, as she studied Tamsin closely.

"Hmm. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were actually enjoying this. You seem… unusually calm… Well, are you? Enjoying this?"

Tamsin didn't reply, she just turned her gaze to the ground, trying to prepare herself for what was coming next. Her executioner for the day had just entered the room and things were not looking good. He strolled in confidently, immediately filling up the room with his presence, although he was not particularly tall or large. She shuddered as she took in what the man was feeling that very moment. There was no trace of rage or anger inside him, as she had expected. There was no hate either, no, there was nothing inside his heart but a vast ocean of coldness and indifference.

Bo's gaze followed the man as he came in, all the while smiling approvingly. She walked over to the Valkyrie, lifted her chin until their eyes met, and gave her another smile. The smile she could take, but the look of genuine concern on Bo's face as she did so confused the Valkyrie a lot.

"Tamsin, you're the only one who can stop this. Tell me what I need to know and we'll put an end to this right now," Bo said in a soft voice.

The Valkyrie stared at her for a long moment and started laughing. "You're so full of shit, succubus."

Bo just nodded and turned to leave, signaling the man that he could start. As she left though, her eyes landed on Lauren, who had remained completely silent and motionless all throughout her chat with Tamsin.

She regretted it the very moment she looked at the doctor though, for it felt like her world shattered to million pieces all of a sudden. There was an unusual sense of calm and serenity in her aura, a beautiful, familiar glow that was pulsating slowly and steadily, in beautiful colors, mostly warm orange undertones. There was something like a very thin, barely distinguishable thread of energy connecting the doctor's aura with Tamsin's, and the realization hit Bo like an angry train running at 400 mph.

Jealousy didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling. Betrayed, hurt, mad. Livid that the last time she had seen Lauren's aura to glow so beautifully was for her, a long time before.

The Succubus stopped in her tracks, and considered her next move. It didn't take her long to decide. The council, and especially the old Loki who was her acting secretary during meetings, had wanted her to resort to more radical measures when it came to Tamsin, but she had resisted. Something inside her had wanted to allow the Valkyrie to hang on to her dignity as much as possible; she was an ancient, renowned warrior Fae after all. Tamsin had stepped up and helped her on numerous occasions. Surely she deserved a better fate. Albeit reluctantly, the council eventually agreed to support Bo and let her deal with the manner her own way.

But no more. Tamsin was fucking asking for it.

She turned to look at the executioner preparing to apply the first lash. He had a special, custom-made scourge with 20 thongs, each with a piece of sharp lead at the end, designed to cause more damage. Some of the pieces were shaped as hooks, so as to latch themselves onto the prisoner's skin and rip the tissue and muscle better when pulled away.

Tamsin was all too familiar with that particular kind of scourge and the devastation it could wreak on a body; she had seen a similar implement used on quite a number of gladiators and slaves during the Roman rule.

She breathed in, steadying herself for the first blow. When it came, it didn't disappoint. The pain it caused was unimaginable, infinitely worse than what she had expected. Lauren had closed her eyes, but Bo was watching in complete fascination as the man yanked the lead hooks out of her back and struck again. This time she couldn't stop herself and let out a loud groan followed by a string of expletives.

Bo smirked. Lauren had finally opened her eyes and was keeping her gaze on Tamsin's face, in a vain attempt to offer some kind of non-verbal reassurance to the Valkyrie.

"Where is the Blood King?" the man asked in a deep voice. "Where is he hiding?"

"Why don't you check up your fucking ass, cocksu…" she began but her words were cut short by the third blow. Tamsin was wondering if there was anything left of her skin on her back, because it honestly felt like there wasn't, it was just as if she had been lain down on a bed of sizzling hot coal.

"How many rebels are there left? Where are they headquartered?" the man asked again.

She kept silent this time, doing her best to even her breath and embrace the pain. To let it in and make it all hers instead of fighting it, hoping that her body would accept it.

"Tell me," Bo started in a sly tone, still staring at Tamsin with a grin on her face, just as the man was preparing to hit her again. "You know me, always curious about all things Fae. So I was wondering, what would happen to a Valkyrie if she, say, lost her wings? Would she still get a heroes' welcome back in Valhalla when dying her last death? Would she even have her powers anymore?"

Tamsin gave her a cold look, or at least what she hoped was a cold look. She couldn't be certain her facial muscles were still obeying her at this point.

"What I'm suggesting is that we find out," Bo continued in a conversational tone, not failing to notice the small gasp that escaped Lauren's lips when hearing her words. "An experiment, if you will. Doctor Lewis here is the best Fae doctor ever, as I'm sure you already know," Bo went on. She paused to see if Tamsin would contribute to the conversation in any way, but the Valkyrie had no intention of indulging her. "So the next time we see each other, Lauren will cut off your wings and we will all be able to witness how that will affect the physiology of a Valkyrie who's been around for millennia. How's that sound?" she ended cheerfully, waiting for Tamsin to say something. But the Valkyrie just kept on looking down, in complete silence.

"Bo? Are you sure about this? I mean, we have no idea what that can cause, there are no records anywhere and it may be dangerous, we might even…" Lauren began, in a concerned, shaky voice. Bo felt like a hot rod was driven through her heart.

"I'm positive, Lauren," the Succubus replied sternly, in a tone that left no room for discussion. She signaled the man to resume the lashing and walked out without looking back. The council and everything else be damned, Tamsin was going to pay.

* * *

They didn't really look at him anymore, which was what he had been gunning for all along. He spent most of this time drinking, fucking and bad mouthing just about everybody, but especially the Blood King, the Morrigan and the Valkyrie. The Succubus too, since he had a reputation to maintain. The way he figured, if he kept on bitching long enough sooner or later people would just start ignoring him. And they soon did. He made a habit of showing up in the most unexpected places, drunk as a sailor on shore leave or just pretending to be. The guards were annoyed and Bo once threatened to cut off his hands, but he persisted and eventually they got used to his erratic behavior and didn't really pay any attention to him anymore. He had become invisible of sorts, a drunkard and a fool, a role he had been all too familiar with since the Middle Ages. Soon enough, he found that he was able to move around the compound unhindered and almost unnoticed, which had been his main goal to begin with.

He caught wind of the rebels' suicidal rescue mission the day before the Valkyrie was supposed to lose her wings. He pondered what the best course of action would be for a long while, while downing a full bottle of vintage wine in the process. He knew, without a doubt, what the best course of action would be for him. But try as he might, he couldn't ignore what was going to happen to Tamsin. Granted he'd never liked her much, yet that was not a fate worthy of such a mighty warrior.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he decided abruptly. He popped open another bottle and started wandering around the building's corridors and the grounds, pretending to be on another one of his drunken midnight walks. Stumbling and rambling, he moved from one entry point to another carefully disabling some of the most dangerous traps and taking out some of the guards placed in key strategic positions. After dealing with the last guard, he put on the man's uniform, helmet and night vision goggles included, grabbed his rifle and positioned himself in his place, waiting patiently for chaos to break loose.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm a little shit, I know. There aren't enough apologies in the whole of creation for how sorry I am. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for reading, following, reviewing, for thinking of this story.**

**This chapter, I've got mixed feelings about it. I would really love to know your thoughts though.**

* * *

The obsidian circular blade was spinning hypnotically, sending a humming vibration up her arm. She could feel its strength, pulsating at the tips of her fingers, eager to start biting through tissue and bone, to fulfill its purpose. It was almost as if it had a life of its own, even if only as an extension of her own two hands.

The room was dead silent, the black blade's soft whir the only noise she could hear. She let out a sigh, realizing she had been holding her breath, along with everyone else in the hall.

She hesitated, as she knew she would. "I can't do this," she whispered to the form in front of her, divinely majestic in its defeat. "I cannot do this." Louder this time, directed to no one in particular, although there were dozens of pairs of eyes in the room watching her closely.

"Do you hear me? I WILL NOT DO THIS!" she finally raised her voice, putting down the saw. Nobody moved. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the woman in front of her tensing and turning her head just a fraction of an inch towards her.

"Oh, I assure you, you will." Although in an all-too-familiar voice, the response came from somewhere behind her in a flat, emotionless tone that made her shiver. "Otherwise we'll have to find someone… way less qualified to complete the experiment. With unforeseeable consequences for your… patient, as you can imagine."

She wanted to yell and fight to her last breath, to be reckless and not give up until she'd make them all see how wrong this was. But logic prevailed. That and the soft voice of the Valkyrie telling her once again that everything would be alright. _Just do it, Lauren. It's gonna be fine, don't worry. _

"Nothing will ever be fine again, Tamsin," she whispered, picking up the saw once again. With one last breath, she brought it to the Valkyrie's wings, watching the blade spin wildly, ever hungrier, tearing through feathers and skin and bone without mercy. She swallowed hard, clenching her jaw, doing her best not to pass out.

But then it started, louder than a siren, more piercing than the sharpest sword, a screeching yell unlike any other sound she'd heard or _felt_ before. And the realization that the source of the terrible blood-curdling wail was the Valkyrie tore through her with such violence that she felt her insides roil and her bones shatter. As if the black blade was cutting through her own flesh and soul.

* * *

She woke up to a splitting headache and the muffled sound of voices from the next room. Her head started throbbing violently the moment she attempted to open her eyes, a decision she regretted as soon as the first ray of light hit her retina. Her whole body was feeling sore as if she'd just been through a 10-hour marathon, but all that pain became insignificant and subsided to a nauseating, paralyzing headache the moment she opened her eyes.

A concussion. She was pretty certain it was a big one judging by how her head was feeling. Taking deep, even breaths to avoid a panic attack because of the pain, she kept her eyes shut and tried to calmly assess her situation using her other senses.

It felt like she was in some sort of hospital bed, an IV line stuck into her right arm and the steady beeps of medical machinery next to her bed being the strongest indicators. The air did not smell like a hospital though. The clothes she felt against her skin and the blanket did not feel like standard medical issue accessories either.

_How long was I out?_

The voices she could hear in the next room went on uninterrupted. She could have sworn one of them was very familiar but the sound of swords clattering and battle yells from the outside made it impossible to tell for sure.

Plucking up courage, she decided to make another attempt to open her eyes. It still hurt like hell but she had to. She was ready. _Tamsin wouldn't be afraid_, the thought popped up catching her unaware.

_Tamsin. Oh dear gods…_

Taking another deep breath, she allowed the pain to wash over her, through her until they were one, and in what she considered to be a successful act of mutiny, she pulled her eyes open, grinding her teeth to avoid passing out from the pain.

The room she was in was definitely not in a hospital. It looked more like a cottage, cozy looking furniture and decorations adorning every wall. It was definitely somebody's home, not a sterile hospital room in an equally sterile Fae clinic or prison. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember how she had got there and more importantly, where 'there' was.

She vaguely remembered the Valkyrie's yell and the black saw, the smell of blood and burnt tissue, but everything was yet in a haze. She recalled the gas bomb, coming from nowhere, hiding them from the eyes of the other Fae. Unknown soldiers storming the hall, firing at Bo's guards. Chaos breaking loose and amid all that confusion, a guard pointing a gun to her head and barking at her to kill the Valkyrie. The man didn't get to repeat the order before a bullet tore his skull open and he fell face forward, into a lifeless heap at her feet. Behind him stood another one of Bo's guards, face covered completely, gun still in hand. He gave her a quick nod before launching himself back into battle, and the last thing Lauren noticed about him, strangely enough, was his black painted fingernails.

What Lauren remembered quite clearly was the Valkyrie's transformation before the 'experiment.' They had to make sure her wings would stay out during the procedure so she had injected Tamsin with a custom designed drug concoction based on un-inhibitors, to force out the Fae within her. She watched in awe how the transformation began, excruciatingly slowly, as if the Valkyrie was fighting it with every fiber and nerve in her body. She continued watching as Tamsin's jaw hardened in an expression of steel determination, how her slumped shoulders were pulled backwards and her back straightened, almost unwillingly. Her muscles tensed and rippled under her skin, testament to the fierce fight within her, to keep her Valkyrie down, buried deep inside where it would be safe. Where her very essence would not be threatened. The movement was primal and raw, spurred from a pure survival instinct against the foreign drug that spread through her bloodstream, biting and pulling, tearing her apart.

Lauren did not look away as Tamsin's cheekbones contorted and retracted, making room for sharp edges and nothing else but skin and bone, while her green eyes were taken over by darkness, sinking to the back of her head until all that was left was a terrifying mask of death and nothingness.

When her wings shot out her back, arcing magnanimously as if ready to embrace the whole world and Lauren with it, a small gasp escaped the doctor's lips, coming out louder than intended. Perhaps because the whole room had stopped breathing altogether, sharing in Lauren's awe at the magnificent creature before them. For Tamsin's Valkyrie, even forced out, even in hospital garb and strapped to a table; stripped of any semblance of dignity, was still a sight to behold.

It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing Lauren had ever seen. It was also the most heartbreaking.

* * *

"She is a ticking time bomb, old man. We have to do something before she blows up and takes us all with her!" Uncharacteristically, Evony was pacing nervously around the Blood King, who was fighting a headache of his own and the last thing he needed, really, was the Morrigan on his back.

"I'm perfectly aware of the risks without you constantly nagging me…" he began patiently, yet letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Are you? Need I remind you that she killed one of our own back there? One of our most skilled, experienced commanders? Twisted his neck like a twig!" Evony snapped her fingers demonstratively.

"We still don't know why she did it. I'm sure there must be a perfectly logical explanation…"

"I'm dying to find out what that may be," she threw her hands up in frustration.

"Careful what you wish for, Evony."

"Aren't you a funny little man?" she scoffed. "Fine. Logical explanation or not, there's still something off about her, as if she's… more unhinged. Mind you, she was never one for patience. Nor one for too much logic either, while we're at it. She was all anger and rushing head first into the worst possible decisions. That's what made her such a valuable… asset. With the proper guidance, that anger of hers proved quite a resource."

"I can only imagine."

If Evony noticed the sarcasm lacing Trick's comment she did not show it in any way. "And now, on her last life cycle… everything has been amplified… it's making me all tingly and itchy! There is so much power within her, I can practically taste it."

Trick really doubted that, but he politely refrained from making any comments for fear of not aggravating Evony further by mentioning her recently acquired human status.

"Can you imagine how this war would have turned out if you had an army of Valkyries living their last life? That granddaughter of yours wouldn't have stood a chance!" she sneered.

Trick ignored her, something he had become remarkably proficient at since spending so much time together. "Tamsin is not just any Valkyrie, if that Baal Shem's book is correct," he said quietly.

"Indeed she isn't. I don't know if I should be excited or terrified about seeing her in all her glory once we remove the block. Have you talked to her about any of this yet?" Evony asked, drawing closer to the window to look out at the troops training. Among them, sun shining bright in her hair, stood Tamsin. A sword in each hand, she was sparring with three soldiers at the same time and by the look of it, she was winning without even breaking a sweat.

"I have attempted to, yes. But she has refused to hear me out every time," Trick explained, joining Evony by the window. "She has been refusing to talk to anyone since she got back. All she does is train with the troops, and when she's not doing that, she's taking it out on the punching bag. Well, she's already on her third, actually."

"So she hasn't said anything at all?"

"No, apart from yelling at me for approving the rescue mission," Trick sighed again.

"I know she can be a bit… hotheaded, but she does know that our intervention saved her wings, doesn't she?" Evony said impatiently. "Probably her life as well."

"That's a small comfort given what she has to go through next, don't you think?" Evony shrugged. "Irrespective of that, she is still quite angry, and she claims that they were very close to solving the problem once and for all before we 'butted in and ruined everything.' And that's all. Not another word."

"They?" Evony raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"She and Lauren."

"Interesting…" she hummed.

Before she could continue though, the door opened and a very determined but feeble looking Lauren wobbled inside, trying to walk straight and failing spectacularly.

"Lauren, you're up! You shouldn't be, let's get you back to bed," Trick rushed to her immediately to help keep her up.

"Welcome back, Dr. Lewis," Evony added, in her practiced bored-to-death tone.

"T-trick? Evony?" her voice was coarse and every word seemed to hurt more than the other. "Where am I? Where's Tamsin?"

"Easy, Lauren, you're safe here. You've suffered quite a concussion, I'm afraid. You really shouldn't be up." Trick offered helpfully.

"I'm fine… I think. Monster headache, but it's good to be back." She paused, her eyes darting between Trick and Evony, looking for a sign, anything to let her know everything was fine. _She promised everything would be fine. _"Tamsin?" she insisted, dreading the answer.

"Oh, she's alright!" Evony cut in before Trick had the chance to reply. "And I'm sure Trick is dying to talk your ears off and that's all very nice, but now that the prodigal daughter has returned and apparently without any irreversible damage, somebody better go tell the enraged Valkyrie in our back yard before she blows the whole place up."

Lauren exhaled a breath she did not know she was holding in, relief washing over her face.

"Do you volunteer?" Trick smirked at Evony.

"Do I have a choice?" she replied dryly and walked out.

It didn't take Trick long to start questioning her about the rescue mission. He spoke fast but measured, as if he was afraid he wouldn't know when to stop.

He seemed to have aged a lot since she'd last seen him, the missing hand and haunted look on his face betraying the hardships he'd suffered since leaving. Lauren always thought that she had it bad, feeling the woman she loved slipping away from her, slowly becoming something else, unrecognizable and terrifying. But seeing Trick like this, almost a shadow of who he once was, made her realize what it must have been like for him to turn against his own blood, against the only family he had left.

An overwhelming feeling of shame washed over her again, shame at having been blind and foolish, shame at all the things she had done at Bo's behest. Shame at what she had done to Tamsin.

She listened to him talking about the rescue operation, about how they couldn't get Kenzi out too because they were cut off by Bo's reinforcements and they had no other choice but to flee. "Well, at least we got the two of you out," Trick said, promising that Kenzi would be safe as she had no involvement or knowledge of the mission. Lauren had the distinct impression that the promise was more to himself than to anyone else.

Her memory of the rescue operation was spotty at best, on account of her having been knocked unconscious pretty early on. But what she remembered very clearly, and what Trick kept on asking her about, was how Tamsin ended up killing one of the officers who were part of the rescue team.

When the Blood King asked, she made a long pause, as if struggling to remember. She didn't have to, she recalled perfectly well how the Fae officer shoved her out of the way in his hurry to get to Tamsin, that he knocked her down and her head bumped violently against the table. Things started to get blurry then, but even so she remembered clearly how the Valkyrie tore through her restraints and jumped off the operating table, in a wild fit of rage. She launched herself at the officer and snapped his neck in one single move, without hesitation. The ultimate punishment for having laid his hands on Lauren. The last two things she remembered before slipping into unconsciousness were the puzzled look on the officer's face as the last flicker of life disappeared from his eyes, and Tamsin's strong arms picking her up and cradling her against her chest.

"I'm sorry Trick, I don't remember anything at all after I bumped my head," she said eventually, in the calm, professional tone she was generally using with patients. She wasn't sure whether he believed her, but he didn't insist, despite the disappointed look on his face, and she was grateful for it.

* * *

Tamsin couldn't remember much of what had happened during the rescue mission either. She was already under the effect of anesthesia and the stimulant Lauren had given her, so everything was in a haze. She remembered only vaguely how one guard started shooting the others, and a commando unit seemed to materialize in the middle of the hall out of thin air. That's when all chaos broke loose, smoke bombs and gunfire everywhere, amid angry shouts and the loud sound of metal clashing against metal.

She was still tied to the table, her movements limited, so she could not see much to her left or right. She saw Lauren next to her, shocked into stillness when one guard collapsed dead at her feet. She remembered seeing Bo and Dyson fighting back to back, trying to push against the attackers.

From behind the haze covering her eyes and mind, she remembered a vaguely familiar figure approaching them and then all of a sudden knocking Lauren down. The movement was quick, but violent, and Tamsin cringed when she heard the broken thudding noise the doctor's head made when coming into contact with the metal table.

And that's when she lost it. She tore through her restraints as if they were nothing and flew off the table, her bloodied wings still spread apart behind her, grabbed the man by the throat and without hesitation twisted his head backwards, grinning in satisfaction at the cracking noise it made. It was only later - after the haze was partially lifted by the smell of blood and battle, mixed with the unspeakable pain shooting out from her nearly torn wings, that she realized who that man was. One of the top commanders of her army, a man she herself had trained, and a loyal servant to the Blood King. But back then, adrenaline coursing through her veins, she didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that he had dared to hurt Lauren and he had to pay.

She rushed by the doctor's side and felt panic gripping her every limb when she noticed the blood spilling from her head wound. She roared again, and fought back the panic, a little voice at the back of her head urging her to get moving and take Lauren to safety. So she lifted the woman as gently as possible in her arms and, taking advantage of the general chaos of battle, she retreated quickly under the cover of her rescuers' fire.

Tamsin hadn't actually planned on leaving the compound, she just wanted to leave Lauren with her troops and instruct them to take her back to Trick. She wanted to go back for Kenzi. She wanted to go back and finish Bo, now that their other plan had just been blown to hell by the rescue mission.

But she couldn't. Not because the Succubus had called out reinforcements the size of a small army. Not because she was still drugged and hurt and not sure she could successfully take on a single trained soldier, let alone a whole battalion.

No, the reason she couldn't go back was the woman in her arms. Her face pale and her hair red with blood, Lauren had somehow managed to cling herself so tightly against the Valkyrie's body that there was no way to put her down. So Tamsin just tightened her grip and kept running, only vaguely aware of the other troops retreating and falling into pace around her, forming a protective wall between her and Bo's guards. She wanted to yell at them for wasting their time with her, but in that moment, and in all honesty, Tamsin couldn't have been more grateful for the help.

And as she ran, there were only two things that kept her going, forcing her to push through the pain, the drugs and the exhaustion. One was that the woman in her arms had to be kept safe by any means necessary. And the other was the taste of her lips.

* * *

It happened just before they left the small examination room to head to the big hall where the Valkyrie was to be stripped of her pride in front of Bo and a select audience of elder Fae. Right before they headed out, the drug already flowing through her veins and making her head spin.

"We can't do this! We have no idea what this will do to you, how it will affect your biology…" she had tried one last time. As if it could make any difference. As if they had a choice.

"Relax, doc. It's gonna be fine. I've lived without these things for so long, losing them ain't gonna be a big deal."

"How do you know? And how the hell can you be so goddamn calm?"

"I'm not calm, Lauren. I'm fucking terrified," she admitted silently after a long pause.

And that's when she kissed her. It was the briefest thing, really, no more than a peck. But Lauren's mouth was light and sweet and pushed against hers with just the right amount of pressure. It only took a second, their lips barely moving at all, and Tamsin couldn't remember ever wanting something else to never end. Never. Not even her own life. Not even the universe.

It ended as fast as it started, and Lauren pulled away, smiling awkwardly, the beginning of a blush coloring her cheeks. For a second, it seemed that she wanted to look down in embarrassment, but she didn't.

Tamsin was stunned. She had been kissed before but that, right there, was something else altogether, and she wasn't sure she knew what. She felt it deep inside her though – something stirring at the contact, something ancient and massive, drawing ever closer to the surface. For the first time in all her lives, Tamsin thought that this was what love must feel like.

When Lauren finally moved and opened her mouth to apologize, the Valkyrie smiled back and shook her head. She held the other woman's gaze for a while and then let out a deep sigh, putting all her unspoken feelings and hopes in that one, simple exhalation.

She didn't want to dwell on it any longer for fear her resolve would be shattered and she would end up giving Bo the satisfaction of seeing how afraid she really was. "Let's go, doc. It's showtime!" she grinned and jerked herself upwards, ready to walk out.

She didn't look down as she felt Lauren's hand reaching for her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze. _Please don't let go._

* * *

She was still in bed, drinking a cup of water under Trick's watchful eye when Tamsin burst in, Evony following briskly behind her, obviously having a hard time to keep up if the beads of sweat on her brow were any indication.

The wide grin that appeared on the Valkyrie's face when she saw Lauren awake seemed to light up the entire room. Ignoring Trick completely, she just rushed to the human's bedside and extended her arms into what ended up being a very awkward hug, as she almost stopped halfway, not sure if Lauren would return the gesture. She had no reason to worry, as it turned out.

They hugged briefly and then just stayed there, looking at each other and smiling, oblivious to Trick's and Evony's raised eyebrows and unspoken questions.

"Hey doc, don't do that again, okay? You scared the shit out of me."

"It's not like I knocked myself out intentionally, Tamsin," Lauren shot back, and the Valkyrie snorted proudly.

"Yeah, you never know with you scientists," she smirked, eliciting a small chuckle from the doctor.

"Are you… How are…" Lauren began again after a brief pause.

"I'm alright, Lauren, really. I'm healing. Everything's fine," she smiled again, reassuringly. "I promised."

"Ahem," Evony finally cleared her throat loudly. "Well, if you'll excuse us, Trick and I have something else to attend to and as much as we're enjoying this tear-wrenching reunion, I'm afraid it cannot be delayed."

"We do?" the Blood King started, before Evony elbowed him firmly in the ribs to shut him up.

"It is not my fault you are becoming senile," she shot back, giving Trick a stern glare as if daring him to contradict her one more time. Luckily, he seemed to get the message. "When you two are done, you know where to find us. We've got work to do," she added and turned back on her heels, practically dragging Trick behind her.

"Surely we could have talked now, no?" he insisted as they walked out of the room. "I mean, we have pressing concerns that need to…"

"I swear, old man, sometimes I really wonder how come you've survived this long. Give them a moment. All these years and you still wouldn't know love even if it hurled a cannonball in your face."

He looked at her for a few good seconds before the meaning clicked into place. "Oh? …Oh! But I… but I thought Lauren… Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. I've dated Eros, remember? You tend to pick some stuff up when you're going out with an ancient love Fae."

Trick nodded pensively. "If that is indeed the case, we either got very lucky or very unfortunate. Regrettably there's only one way to find out," he sighed gloomily.


	11. Chapter 11

"And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you," he had said wistfully, squinting at her through his glass of absinthe.

"Well, let it, I say! That fucking abyss has got nothing on me," she answered smugly and emptied her glass. She had lost count, they both had, but she knew they must have had quite a few if Friedrich had gone all philosophical again.

"You should be more careful. Some things are better left buried, if you know what's good for you."

"I don't. Never did and I have no intention of starting now. That abyss of yours? Let it fucking gaze until its eyes pop out. I'm not afraid of anything."

He looked at her for a while, trying to bring her into focus, before his lips curled into a warm smile.

"You're so full of shit, Tamsin."

She laughed wholeheartedly at that and poured them another drink. "Don't forget arrogant."

"Never! You are the most arrogant person I've ever met. Worse than Richard even, and that's saying something."

"Hey, speaking of, how's that opera of his coming along?"

"Oh, the Nibelungen opus? Majestic, I think. He's working on the last part now, the Götterdämmerung," he declared emphatically, accompanying his words with a generous wave of his right hand.

"Ragnarøkkr?" she quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Leave it to you to use the Norse term."

"Yes, well you know me, I always prefer to call things by their real name. Glad he's finishing it though, he's been working on it forever."

"Art takes time, Tamsin. You can't rush inspiration. The _Twilight of the Gods_ will be the epic conclusion to the most extraordinary opera work the stage shall ever see! A work of astounding beauty, strength and grace! Just like the Valkyries of old," he grinned happily.

"Right," she snorted. "Well, I've always said you and Richard are insane to believe that sort of thing. It's just fairytales, bedtime stories to scare little children and ignorant fools."

"I swear, Tamsin, sometimes you seem to be more obsessed with proving us wrong than we are with the whole thing in the first place. If you weren't so keen on demolishing our harmless illusions, you'd agree with me."

"On what?"

"On the fact that you'd make a wonderful Valkyrie."

"Hmm," she grunted noncommittally. "I honestly doubt that, my friend. I just wish you'd stop wasting your time on silly things. I'd rather drink you under the table instead and then find a good lay," she added and punctuated her comment by downing yet another glass of absinthe.

Once again, he gave her a long look and stroked his ridiculous mustache before breaking into a grin.

"You're such an idiot."

"At least I'll be a drunk, happy idiot," she retorted, with an equally wide grin.

* * *

_I am a fucking idiot._

The word rang particularly true now, under the weight of so many distant memories, missed opportunities, and enough regrets to last a small European nation a lifetime.

Tamsin hadn't had much time for regrets until rather recently. Nor had she been particularly inclined to dwell on the past and what-could-have-beens. That was until she had the misfortune, as some would call it, to run into the Happy Sunshine Gang. Until they changed her, slowly but surely, and molded her into this pathetic guilt-ridden shadow she was now.

Still, she wouldn't have traded the good days with the people she'd come to consider her family for anything in the world. She missed them. She missed how they were before everything went to shit.

There were times, while she was held captive and during the brief moments of respite from being tortured, that Tamsin had trouble figuring out if she was still alive or not, if she was dreaming or awake. If Lauren's soothing touches, trying to relieve the excruciating pain she was in, were even real.

There were moments when Tamsin couldn't remember who she was anymore. Regrets and guilt the only constants in her life. Even the pain she experienced at the skilled hands of Bo's torturers paled in comparison to the heavy burden of not doing enough. Of not being good enough.

You cannot fight monsters without becoming one yourself. A lesson learned but forgotten. She was such an idiot indeed.

_Wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein._

If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Tamsin wondered if this would also apply to that gaping hole, that sickening void at the back of her mind. For the sake of her sanity, she was really hoping it would. It's not like she wasn't a monster already anyhow.

It had been growing stronger, somehow larger even, in the past few weeks since she'd been taken prisoner. As if every day in captivity was tearing down another brick, and another, until that thick, impenetrable wall surrounding the void in her head would collapse and the monster within her, or whatever it was, would break free.

It had got worse after the torture began. And Friedrich would have had quite a laugh to see her now, like this. Absolutely terrified. A very pale image of the Valkyries he held so dear.

She was scared shitless because she had no doubts whatsoever that whatever was hidden inside her was so strong that it would easily overpower her once let loose. Engulf her completely. Devour her piece by piece until there would be nothing left of who she was now. Of the person she had been fighting so hard to become.

The first thing to seep through the cracks and into her conscious mind was not at all what she expected, though. It came to her as a dream, while she was drifting into an exhausted sleep after the second day of torture.

A clearing, crossed by a narrow stream, glistening in the high afternoon sun. Everything smelled of summer and fresh rain – the smell strong in her nostrils as she lay face down on the ground behind a thicket, spying on the form bathing carelessly in front of her.

It was a woman, stark naked, and Tamsin couldn't tear her eyes away from the strong, sinewy body's movements, as she poured water on her skin and rubbed away the grime. Almost but not quite sensual. There was something vaguely familiar about the form, and its well defined lines and curves, but Tamsin couldn't quite pinpoint it.

She felt her dream self's glee at the sight, a warm feeling of joy stirring inside her, and she smirked inwardly, thinking how she could never resist an attractive body for too long. Not even in a dream. But then the woman turned halfway and Tamsin couldn't believe her eyes.

For the human who stood there naked, ankle deep in the stream, and washing herself contently, was herself. Maybe with slightly darker eyes and tanned, golden skin instead of her usual pallor, but it was her without any doubt. It felt strange, as if having one of those out-of-body experiences she used to read about, and thoroughly enjoy, in shady supernatural magazines.

Her dream self wasn't surprised though. There was something similar to childish excitement bubbling up inside her, and an intense rush unlike anything she'd ever experienced before almost swept her off her feet. All at the thought of being around that boy. Of touching it, in all its perfection. Tracing the curve of its neck, the swell of its breasts, its strong arms and thighs. Almost embarrassed by the intensity of her feelings, Tamsin looked down at her hands, but instead of long fingers and white skin, all she saw was a grayish blur without any clear shape or essence. A bit like fog, maybe.

She was surprised with her lack of surprise at the sight. As if that's what it had always been like.

She looked again at the woman, still bathing obliviously, and in that moment, the Valkyrie knew that that human form had to be hers no matter what. All that smooth skin and golden hair, every line and mound, all those muscles moving underneath, hinting at unsuspected strength, all of it had to be hers.

Her dream self moved quickly and swiftly. The woman didn't even know what hit her. Tamsin watched in horror how she plunged a fiery sword through the human's back, in a smooth, unhesitant movement. The sword went all the way through, and she could see the bloodied tip coming out on the other side through the woman's abdomen. A confused expression on her face, she blinked repeatedly, as if trying to adjust her eyesight to the dark, before she fell dead to the ground.

This woman would be hers. This one would not get to feast with the gods.

As she stood over the motionless body, Tamsin caught her own reflection in the water. All she saw was fire – her hair made of angry red flames swirling upwards, her entire skin an ashen grey blur, forever shifting, forever rearranging itself into new patterns. Her features dark and undistinguishable.

A hint of what may have been a smile played briefly on her face at the reflection, but the reflection did not return it.

Tamsin woke up in a pool of sweat, hit by the realization that what she had just seen was not a dream at all. No, it was a memory of times long gone and buried deep inside her, so that they'd never be found. And now something was dredging them to the surface.

* * *

They both grew tense as soon as Trick and Evony left. For the first time since they'd met each other again, the ease of their bantering and the swiftness of their conversations, even when about life and death situations, had given way to a growing awkwardness.

Now that they were alone together, without any guards in the vicinity, without the imminent danger of insane torture and death, and without Bo's wrath looming over their heads, both Lauren and Tamsin found that they had no idea how to act around each other. Not after silently admitting how they felt.

The Valkyrie shuffled her feet nervously, unsure what how to react or what was expected of her. She was acutely aware that she hadn't thought things through – not when she ran with Lauren in her arms, and not now when she'd barged into the room, expecting what exactly?

_She was under duress, she probably didn't even mean it._ The thought crept through her mind insidiously, feeding the constant state of uncertainty she'd been in over the last few days. Feeding that part of her that was so well versed in inflicting mind-shattering doubt not on others but on herself. That part of her brain that was desperately craving and at the same time rejecting the only thing she had never had in the whole of her existence.

So she waited, just standing by the human's bedside, and feeling more vulnerable than she had felt even while under the executioner's whip.

"How long was I out?" Lauren started, tentatively, trying to break through the awkwardness.

"Not long. A few days. We were worried," she shrugged apologetically. _I was out of my mind with worry._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Doc, you must be the only person I've ever met to apologize for getting knocked out," Tamsin laughed.

It was a beautiful laugh. One that Lauren wished she'd heard more often. A laugh that made her break into a wide smile and forget all about the tension she'd sensed between them a few seconds before.

"Yes, well, I've been doing a lot of that lately."

"You don't have to, Lauren. You don't owe any apologies or explanations to anyone." The Valkyrie's voice was firm but gentle, and the doctor wondered what it would be like to wake up to that voice every morning for the rest of your life.

"I didn't tell them. About…" she started again when she realized where her thoughts were taking her. She stopped mid-sentence, not sure if she should even broach the subject. Not sure how much Tamsin remembered.

Enough, judging by how her green eyes darkened with sadness. "I'm… not sorry," the Valkyrie said after a long pause, yet hanging her head in shame. "I know I should be but I can't bring myself to feel it. Hell, I think it's one of the very few things in my life I don't actually regret," she scoffed.

The implication of her words was not lost on Lauren though. And as much as the logical part of her brain, honed to the point of paranoia by all those years spent with the Fae, was telling her to be wary of anything or anyone that had the potential to hurt her, she realized that she did not feel an ounce of fear when it came to Tamsin. Not even after witnessing her rage and her fury unleashed on a man who was their ally. Just because he had hurt her by accident.

"Tamsin, look at me," she said finally, her hand gently lifting the Valkyrie's chin until their eyes locked. The vulnerability she saw there startled her and for a second she wanted to both pull away and closer, to catch the Valkyrie in her arms and never let go. But she wasn't sure she knew how to do this. It had been easy enough when it was all about healing her wounds and keeping her alive. It had been easy when she thought she would never get a shot at this, at being with Tamsin like this. "Thank you," she whispered eventually, after looking into the Valkyrie's beautiful, clear eyes, trying to commit to memory every speck of color and light in her irises. "Thank you for getting me out."

A flurry of emotions washed over Tamsin's face, as she held Lauren's gaze with the same intensity. Worry, relief, fear, resignation and even gratitude, all culminating in the tiny smile that appeared at the corner of her lips as she nodded in acceptance of the human's words.

"I'd better go now, doc," she said, finally, taking a small step back. "You must be exhausted. Try to get some rest before we meet up with the old man. I'll have someone send you something to eat," she turned to leave but stopped abruptly when she felt Lauren's hand grabbing her arm and tugging her back.

"Tamsin, wait. I just… I wanted to say I'm sorry. I can never say that enough, apparently," she smiled bitterly.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong, Lauren. You did what had to be done to ensure your survival. And mine."

"I'm not talking about that. Although gods know how sorry I am for what I did to you… But that's now what I meant."

Tamsin just stared back, her face blank and expressionless. _Waiting for the other shoe to drop. _

"I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner," Lauren continued after taking in a deep breath. "When we had more time." She allowed her hand to glide down Tamsin's wrist, interlacing her fingers with the Valkyrie's. In response, Tamsin only squeezed her hand tighter, her face once again claimed by sadness.

"It's alright, doc," the words came out stunted, as if she was struggling with every sound. "I'll make sure you get all the time you need," she finished with a reassuring smile.

Lauren smiled back and gave her a small nod, although not sure she understood the full meaning of the Valkyrie's response.

Still holding her hand in a tight grip, Tamsin studied her face for a few seconds, as if waiting for some sort of response, a sign of some sorts.

But whatever she expected to see did not come though, and for a second, she couldn't fight back the overwhelming feeling of disappointment building up in the pit of her stomach. It was silly, she knew. Did she honestly expect Lauren to just fall into her arms like in a cheesy Lifetime movie where they'd ride into the sunset and make beautiful babies together? The prospect was more enticing than she was willing to admit.

"Right," I'll let you get some rest now. I'll tell Trick we'll meet him at dinner," she said casually, before turning on her heels and walking out. _Before it's too late._

Alone again, Lauren was left with Tamsin's words still echoing in her head, tugging at the corners of her mind and making her feel extremely uncomfortable. Tamsin's promise reminded her too much of old Hollywood war movies. It sounded just like the last words of one of those stupidly heroic soldiers who threw themselves into the line of fire to create a diversion and allow their comrades to escape unharmed. Paying with their own life in the process.

She couldn't help but feel she had missed something important just then. A grating feeling that something big had been expected of her and she had failed to see what it was.

And Lauren didn't like failing. Not one bit.

* * *

When the gunfire erupted, Kenzi's first instinct was to run towards it as quickly as her feet would carry her. Counterintuitive, but she was certain someone had come to rescue Tamsin and she was going to be damned to the seventh circle of hell before allowing the Valkyrie to remain in captivity and suffer any more at the hands of Bo's butchers. She was going to shove Lauren into Tamsin's arms and force them to escape and forget all about this war. Go to the Bahamas and drink cocktails on the beach. Or to the Himalayas and ride yaks or do whatever it was that people did over there. Anywhere, as long as it was not there.

She didn't get far though. As soon as she stepped out the door of her room, two large guards armed to the teeth stepped in front of her and invited her back inside in the most condescending tone they could convey, explaining that no, she was not allowed to leave, that it was for her own safety, and that this was at Bo's orders. To make it worse, one of the guards followed her inside, blowing up any shred of hope she had left that she could escape out the window. The guard remained with her well until all the ruckus died down and an uneasy silence settled over the compound.

It was only then that the other guard came in, nodded curtly at his colleague and then looked at her with a strange mixture of mercy and satisfaction on his face. "Let's go. You're being summoned."

If she was bothered by his choice of words, Kenzi didn't show it, but merely gestured at the guard to lead the way. She wanted to hurl back a sharp, witty retort that she wasn't anyone's lackey, but the expression on his face made her reconsider. As she walked between the two guards, she remembered a time when she wasn't so afraid of who was waiting at the end of the walk. A time when this was still her best friend and the kindest person in the world.

The halls of the compound were suspiciously empty, but as they neared the large hall at the center, it started feeling like they'd been transported right in the middle of a medical tent during an enemy attack all over again. Nurses and guards running around in all directions, injured Fae being carried away to safety. Her eyes scanned the crowd, but there was no sign of Lauren anywhere. Kenzi hoped that was a good sign.

The bustle ended abruptly after they entered the large hall and the heavy metal door slammed shut behind her. The entire place was engulfed in silence, with the exception of the rhythmical clacking noises of heels against the pavement. Kezi heard her before she saw her – pacing in measured strides around the two captains of her guard, an image of absolute restraint. But the air was brimming with tension and simmering anger, something both the Russian and the Fae under Bo's scrutiny were painfully aware of.

"I'm not even going to bother and ask how this could happen. How you allowed it to happen," she said icily while still pacing around them. The two men swallowed hard. Dyson was studying the scene closely from a safe distance, a smirk on his face.

"What I want to know is what you're going to do about it. Hmm?" she asked impatiently when the two failed to respond.

"We're mounting a counteroffensive, ma'am," one of them croaked eventually. "We have our scouts out, still looking while we're putting together a raiding force…"

"Still looking?" She stopped in front of the Fae and stared at him intimidatingly.

"Yes, ma'am. We… we followed them for a good deal, but they... we lost them. Vanished into thin air." His throat bobbed frantically as he desperately tried to choke back a whimper.

The Succubus's eyes turned an aggressive shade of blue as she was basking in the thrill of intimidating her two captains.

"I trust I don't need to spell out for you what this means?" she asked, turning her inquisitive gaze to the other Fae. "How such a small force was able to pop right into our midst, successfully fend off the counterattack of a sizable security force and then vanish into thin air?" she continued, every word imbued with disgust.

One of the captains gulped loudly. "No, ma'am. They had inside help."

"Bravo," she spat out mockingly. "I want whoever's responsible found. Right away, no matter what it takes. Find them and bring them to me alive, NOW."

Both Fae saluted and turned on their heels, scurrying towards the exit. Bo's gaze followed them as they left and stopped briefly on Kenzi before she turned her head to the opposite end of the hall, which was still shrouded in darkness.

"Well?" she huffed loudly. "Isn't there anything you'd like to say? Feel free to join the conversation, Vex, you know how we value your opinion around here," she smirked.

"You seem to be doing perfectly fine by yerself, luv. Don't see why I should get involved, really."

"Let's see… Maybe because I'll cut off both your hands and feed them to the pigs?" she tapped her right foot impatiently.

"Ah, right, it's coming back to me now. That explains the pig in the vest over there," he grinned back as Dyson let out a threatening growl. The Mesmer ignored it completely and finally got up from his chair, moving towards Bo in a poor imitation of a waltzing movement, still holding a bottle of wine tightly in his hand. "What will your sucking highness have me do, pray tell?" he said after taking a deep bow in front of the Succubus.

"Hide behind that mockery all you want, Vex," she snarled. "At the end of the day, we both know your life is in my hands. So have your fun. But if it turns out you've double crossed me…" she did not finish the sentence, which seemed to make the threat all the more effective, Kenzi noticed.

Even the Mesmer seemed to take note, as he straightened his back a little and let out a small sigh.

"Alright, alright. No need for hostilities, luv, I was only joking. How can I help?"

"You know how."

He lifted an eyebrow in question.

"Don't mess with me, Vex, I am not in the mood. I know you still have your contacts among the resistance. Go, reach out to them and do not dare to show your face around here again until you've found out where Trick is hiding."

Vex was just staring at her with an amused expression on his face. "Would that be all? Are you sure I can't get you the Goblet of Fire or something, while we're at it?"

"GO, NOW!" she boomed, having lost her patience.

Vex gave her a curtsy and walked out while taking another long drink from his bottle. As he passed by Kenzi, he gave her a wink and a candid smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Bo, I wouldn't trust him if I were you," Dyson spoke as soon as the Mesmer was out and the heavy door slammed shut behind him. "He's always been a scheming, manipulative, little…"

"Don't be an idiot, Dyson," Bo cut him off abruptly. "Of course I don't trust him. I know very well who he is and what he's capable of. Plus, we don't even know where he was during the attack. For all we know it could be him that facilitated it."

The wolf shifter nodded in agreement. "I wasn't able to sense him anywhere near during the raid. But he does have a strange smell now… he still smells like himself, but there's something else there and I can't figure out what."

"Stay on him. Follow him wherever he goes. If I'm right, he is bound to make a mistake sooner or later. And then he will lead us straight to Trick and his merry band of traitors." Dyson nodded again and readied himself to leave.

"Wait, she called back just as he was walking by Kenzi. "Just so we're clear Dyson. When we find them, I want them all dead. Every last one of them, Trick or Tamsin or Vex, or whoever else is still part of this insanity." Kenzi swallowed back a horrified gasp.

"But if anyone, and I mean anyone, will harm a single hair on Lauren's head, they will pay dearly with more than just their life," the Succubus went on. "I want her back alive and in one piece. Is that understood?" she added in a low growl.

"Yes, Bo, loud and clear," Dyson said calmly before he walked out.

Left alone with the Succubus, Kenzi could feel with acute clarity the growing unease of the two guards who had accompanied her. They almost let out a sigh of relief and turned to leave when Bo motioned the Russian girl to come closer, but stopped dead in their tracks when the Succubus called them back. "I'm not quite done with the two of you."

As Kenzi was moving closer, taking small measured steps in hope of postponing the inevitable, she noticed how the Succubus's stance was as tense as a coiled snake ready to strike, the predatory smile playing at the corners of her lips doing very little to dispel that impression. A cold shiver ran down her back and once again she shuddered in Bo's presence. _Scared shitless by my best friend._

"You went to see her," Bo said in an even tone, that reptilian smile still on her lips. It wasn't a question, but Kenzi hesitated. "It's alright, I understand. You raised her, after all. I would have probably defied my own orders and done the same if I were you," she smiled coldly, never taking her eyes off the Russian.

Kenzi really missed seeing Bo's brown eyes again, as this electric blue was making her sick to her stomach. She was still silent, trying to figure out the best response.

"Where are they," the Succubus asked, in a venomous, sugar-coated tone. "I'm sure she said something."

"I don't know, Bo," Kenzi finally said defiantly, proud that none of the fear she was feeling had found its way into her words. "And she didn't say anything when I saw her. She was in no condition to say anything after those butchers had their way."

"I see," Bo smiled again. This time it looked like genuine amusement. "I'm sorry, Kenzi, but I don't have time to waste with these silly little games," she said and reached a hand out to touch the Russian's face, releasing her power so forcefully that it almost knocked the girl off her feet.

Kenzi had not experienced a Succubus's touch many times, but she did remember that on previous occasions it had been soothing, gentle even. That despite the insatiable arousal it triggered, it also gave her a feeling of safety. Not now, though. Bo's power rushed through her body, making her every nerve ending tingle and vibrate almost painfully. Heat pooling between her legs despite her desperate efforts to push it back. Every last trace of free will pushed into a deep corner of her mind and surrounded by a thick wall of desire. It was oppressive. Suffocating.

"Where are they? Who helped them escape?" Bo asked, an amused smile still playing on her lips as she was caressing Kenzi's cheek.

"I… I don't know, Bo, I swear. I didn't even know there was going to be an escape. Not for lack of trying on our part, I can tell you that!" _Shutupshutupshutup._

"What do you mean?"

"Lauren and I tried to help her, offered to break her out but Tammy wouldn't leave. She kept on saying she was gonna solve this once and for all. They were working on a cure, I think."

"Were they? What kind of cure?" the Succubus asked as Kenzi nodded vigorously in confirmation.

"I don't know. They never told me. And I didn't get the chance to ask." Bo tilted her head approvingly.

"Anything else?"

"No. Yes! While I was there, I… look, I'm not even sure how to put this but I think there might be something between the doc and Tamsin… Like they might have feelings for each other." Kenzi said, wide-eyed and absolutely horrified by how the words were leaving her mouth and she wasn't able to do anything to make them stop.

Bo nodded with a painful expression on her face and she moved away from the Russian. "I figured out as much," she whispered to herself.

Her gaze dropped to the floor and Kenzi could see her working her jaw, nostrils flaring in anger, as she struggled to recompose herself. When she finally regained her apparent calm, she turned to the two guards, who had witnessed the entire scene and were now trying to make themselves as small as possible, hoping they'd go unnoticed. No such luck, though.

"You two," Bo spoke loudly and authoritatively. She didn't wait for their acknowledgment. "Put together a strike force. Only the best. And start rounding up all the former rebels who surrendered recently and were granted pardons. I want them all locked up, all of the treacherous Fae who fought by the Valkyrie's side. And once you have them all, make sure the whole world knows that unless the Blood King and the Valkyrie turn themselves in and dismantle this rebellion once and for all, we will execute 20 of their former soldiers every day. Starting tomorrow. And when we run out of soldiers we'll move to their families. Every day, until their unconditional surrender."

The two guards saluted hastily and fled out of the hall. Bo heaved a sigh and sat down on the floor, seemingly oblivious to everything around her all of a sudden.

From behind the haze that the Succubus's power had left in its wake, Kenzi was raving. Fright had given way to fury and she swore to herself that no matter what it would take, no matter what she would lose in the process, she would not relent until Bo was either stopped for good or knocked back to her senses. Whatever it would take.


	12. Chapter 12

**In which there's a lot of talking and we find out who the frak Tamsin actually is. Came out longer than expected, hope it won't bore you to death. As always, please let me know what you think. Even if it's just to yell at me for wasting your time. **

**And I can't say this enough: thank you all for reading, commenting, following this story. You're the ultimate rock stars.**

* * *

There was no such thing as a time-stopping moment. No such thing as time slowing down or standing still. Tamsin would've bet her favorite jacket and half of her very old, very precious arsenal on it.

These were just metaphors, silly things people said to stoke their illusion that time can be controlled. Harnessed and brought to its knees, like a finally tamed, harmless beast rather than a tremendous predator consuming everything in its path.

But no. There was only time going by at lightning speed. Time overlapping, exhausting itself, and the myriad things the brain insists on cramming in as little space as possible when faced with an impossibility or an adrenaline high.

Time flowing by unseen and unfelt when in the heat of battle, the blood of your enemy on your face, in your nose and eyes, grinning madly as you slash your way to victory. Time collapsing with the thrill of a chase and the exhilaration of a successful hunt for flesh, no matter what kind.

She had experienced this rush too many times to keep track. But if someone had told her that she would actually go through a time-standing-still experience not once, but twice – and all in the span of a few years, she would have laughed derisively at their ignorance. And probably beat them half to death for good measure.

Yet here she was. Again. Unlike the previous time, when the whole world had gone silent and dark and the only thing she could see was Kenzi being swallowed by that blasted portal, now she was acutely aware of everything around her. Of how everybody else in the room was moving or breathing, of what they were saying, catching glimpses of their slow motion out of the corner of her eye.

She was aware that Trick was speaking, explaining animatedly how they had made the discovery. Lauren listening closely, nodding now and then in encouragement. At the other end of the table, Evony studying her perfect manicure, never missing an opportunity to roll her eyes disapprovingly whenever the Blood King said something ridiculous. Which apparently was every other sentence coming out of his mouth.

But none of this mattered.

What mattered was that Tamsin had the distinct feeling she had been staring at the image in front of her for days on end. What mattered was that it had always been there. In her face.

She really should have figured it out sooner.

Recognition dawned on her as soon as Trick had placed the book in front of her, open on a one-page drawing of two strange beings.

The ashen form with red hair was staring back at her mockingly, much like it had in the dream. The blonde woman with a stern expression on her face, very much like she had right before light went out of her eyes forever, impaled by a fire sword.

The blonde woman staring back at her whenever she looked in the mirror.

She broke out of her reverie when Lauren placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You okay? You seem a little out of it."

"Y... yeah, I'm fine." She finally lifted her head to discover that both Trick and Evony were staring at her impatiently, as if waiting for her answer. "Can you repeat the question, old man?"

"I was asking, Tamsin, what do you know about the original Valkyries?"

She gave him a long good stare, wondering if the man was in his right mind after all. Maybe everything he'd been through, all the losses he had suffered recently, had finally taken their toll on his already feeble mind. It was possible, what?

"Admit it, Trick, you've been watching a lot of teen shows lately, haven't you?" she deadpanned. Always falling back on humor and sarcasm. But the Blood King wasn't amused, as he fixed her with one of his trademark serious stares.

"Old wives' tales, Trick. Myth. They're not real, never were," she sighed eventually, rubbing the bridge of her nose furiously. "Why are we even talking about this?"

"Well we…" he paused briefly when the Valkyrie pinned him under a questioning look. "Evony and I think they were actually very real. And that all the myths about them were more or less grounded in reality, as a matter of fact."

Tamsin laughed sardonically. "Yeah and so is the Tooth Fairy. C'mon, old man, we would know if they're real. Judging by how they're described in the old books, it would be pretty hard to keep their existence secret, don't you think?"

"Not necessarily, Tamsin," Evony cut in. "Not if they don't actually know what they are."

_There it is._

The comment hit her hard, touching upon that deeply-ingrained, visceral fear tormenting her for the last few weeks. Fear of what was hiding within the void in her mind. She flinched visibly, not able to contain the flash of horror that crossed her features at the thought.

"Wait, would anybody mind telling me what the hell you guys are talking about?" Lauren finally spoke, her eyes darting between the three Fae.

"Excellent question! Yes, Trick, what in Odin's name are you talking about?" Tamsin added with a loud huff.

Trick had the decency to look mildly embarrassed. Evony still seemed bored out of her mind.

"Well, yes, of course, my apologies," he began mumbling, not sure how to approach the subject. "While we were looking for a possible explanation and remedy for Bo's… situation, we found… I mean Evony found and I… then we were both able to confirm… Actually maybe it would be better to start with the legend…"

"We think you are the last of the original Valkyries," Evony interrupted in exasperation. "The only one still in existence after millennia," she added after a long pause, during which all eyes in the room were on her and everybody had stopped breathing. And while Evony was not normally one to shy away from attention, this time it was making her so uncomfortable that she almost squirmed in her seat. And Evony _never_ squirmed.

"Fuck you," Tamsin said with more calm than she thought she possessed. "You are insane, both of you."

Her whole world was collapsing inside her, brick after brick after brick, everything tumbling down as if she was back in Pompeii all over again. But she was not going to say anything. She was not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing her fear.

What was even more terrible was that everything made sense, all of a sudden. The void, the menacing abyss inside her, the dream. Hell, even that shaman years before who had fled from her as if she was the plague.

As it turned out, she was.

And as hard as she tried to dispute it, to deny it, deep down inside she knew it was true. That thing inside her. That thing she saw in her dream. It finally had an identity. And it was not one to be taken lightly. She was doomed.

"No, Tamsin, wait a minute," Trick pleaded. "Hear us out, please."

"I told you she'd flip, didn't I?" Evony asked in an annoyed voice, while the Blood King bit the inside of his cheek to abstain from lashing out. He failed though.

"Well, I bet you're so glad you were right. AGAIN!" he almost yelled at her. Evony yelled something back, equally angry.

Tamsin was still sitting down, stone faced, her eyes once again on the old drawing.

"Excuse me," Lauren tried to make herself heard through the loud argument between Trick and Evony. "Excuse me!" she tried again, this time getting their attention. "Look, I'm not as familiar with ancient Fae history and I must say I haven't heard of the original Valkyries before," she began politely. "But why exactly is this a bad thing?"

"No no no no, Lauren, it's not a bad thing at all. In fact, it's the best news we've had since this whole war started," Trick smiled reassuringly, looking to Tamsin for confirmation.

But there wasn't going to be any. She was still staring at the image, in complete silence.

So when she started laughing loudly, almost mechanically in cadence, the other three practically jumped out of their skin. "That's great, Trick, that's just rich! You just told me I'm probably the last surviving member of the most vicious, most feared, most horrible species of Fae ever known, but no, that's not a bad thing at all! Being a monster has always been at the top of my Christmas list!"

"Tamsin, please... This is not all. Let us explain?" he tried one more time.

She would have stormed right out of there as soon as they brought up the original Valkyries. She should have. But then she felt Lauren's hand on her shoulder again, squeezing lightly. Enough to make her waver. Enough to make her stay and meet whatever fate was in store for her head-on. For the tenth time, for the hundredth time, she had lost track to be honest, she felt Lauren's touch grounding her, putting things into focus once again.

She would stay and listen to them, but that didn't mean she had to like it. "Fine," she huffed out angrily. "Then by all means, Blood King, explain."

He nodded in appreciation, completely ignoring the scowl she gave him. Before he began, his eyes settled on Lauren, deciding that she would be the most receptive member of the audience.

"Legend has it that Valkyries as they are today, as you and I know them, have not always been like this. They haven't always been fair-haired maidens, young warrior women who are equally beautiful and fierce, as the great majority of old Norse texts tells us, starting from the Poetic Edda. They weren't always these swift carriers of divine justice whose main purpose was and is to serve Valhalla and its worthy warriors.

"There are very few ancient texts that talk about what preceded the Valkyries, and all in the guise of legend. Evony and I were able to find a handful of more obscure writings that seem to back up the legends, with one major difference: insisting that these Fae were actually very real.

"But what all those texts seemed to agree on was that whatever these beings were, they were indeed brutal, majestic creatures so close to perfection that they were considered divine. In a nutshell, a species of Fae unlike any other.

"The oldest reference we were able to find was, surprisingly, not in a Norse text, but in an Arab one, one authored by the same Fae scholar, actually." He pointed at the book in front of Tamsin, still open on the image of the two creatures.

"The author, a Baal Shem, which is, as you may know, a Fae that has power over names, was the first to talk about something he described as 'the transformation of the Valkyrja.' The dialect he used is so old we were barely able to translate but from what we pieced together, it seems that Valkyries at that time – which, mind you, was a century, maybe even longer, before the Edda – were a rather recent breed that had appeared or was created to fill out the void left by their predecessors. Those predecessors are described as Fae so old and fearsome that even the Ancients, even Odin himself revered them and was thought to be actually terrified by them.

"This species did not have a name, and neither did any of its members, apparently, They were known by what they stood for – fury, vengeance, raging and so on – all of the emotions that came very useful during a fight, emotions inflicted upon their opponents on the battlefield tenfold. It is said these Fae had become so powerful that they held sway over the realm of life and death. That instead of just choosing their warriors from among the slain, they would actually decide who was supposed to live and to die in a war, going as far as actually killing those warriors themselves if they'd been victorious and still alive at the end of a battle. Men and women who won wars only to be brought down by these almost primordial creatures who had taken the power of life and death upon themselves…

Noticing the horrified look on both Lauren's and Tamsin's faces, he paused and offered an understanding smile.

"Yes, I know the description is not very encouraging. But I don't think they were that horrid, actually, I'm sure much of it was an exaggeration. And the Baal Shem seems to agree with me! He was quite fascinated with the species and often praised their valor, their sense of duty and justice. He insisted that none of their killings were unjustified and that everything they did was to maintain balance in the world.

"What really confused him, as a naming Fae, was how come this species did not have any name. By naming things you gain power over them, you mold them into a pattern and practically set them on their unique path. Practically forging a destiny for them. Did the fact that these Fae have no names mean that nobody held any power over them? That they did not have a destiny, a clear future but were rather constantly living in a sum of possibilities? That they were, in fact, a form of infinity?

"These were questions the Baal Shem poses repeatedly throughout his writings, but never seems to quite grasp an answer. He never gave a name to the species as a whole, but started referring to them as original Valkyries, for lack of a better term. Proto-Valkyries, if you will.

"And it seems this infinite nature was also reflected by their appearance. Creatures not of body, but of essence, spirits that although maintained an anthropomorphic form did not have an actual body. They were actually made of something like fog."

"Gee, you mean all gray and blurry?" Tamsin scoffed, pointing at the image.

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. They are described as creatures made of mist and flame, riding fire-breathing dragons and yielding fiery swords made by the skilled smiths of Jotunheim. Blades imbued with old magic only the Frost Giants knew, that allowed them to wield fire without damage to themselves, but with indescribable effects on the beings at the other end of those weapons.

"Their appearance so dreadful that it instantly struck fear in the hearts of enemy and ally alike, and it was said that only the truest, most righteous warriors would resist gazing upon these creatures.

"Of course, we can't know how much of this is invention and how much is real. But what's certain is that scholars gradually began doubting the validity of these accounts and started focusing more on the mythological component of the stories. Much like Tamsin here, they surmised that if such Fae really existed, there should be some kind of proof other than a bunch of ancient stories that nobody could corroborate. But there was nothing. And none of the Ancients was around to give their opinion. So even if these proto-Valkyries had become extinct, as the stories went, in a massive bloodbath during the First Fae War ever recorded in history, something should have been left of them. Something more than just a footnote in one of the most ancient and popular Norse texts before the Edda, a footnote …

"Wait, what? Go back a little. The First Fae War? When exactly was this?" Lauren asked curiously. She was enjoying the history lesson tremendously. Both Tamsin and Evony rolled their eyes.

"It was well before my time, a few thousands of years before. It is said that what triggered the conflict was that most Fae across Europe wanted to overthrow Odin and put an end to this practice of killing victorious warriors and practically forcing them into Valhalla to await the Ragnarök. Odin was powerless, as he had no control over who his proto-Valkyries would choose, but he couldn't admit that openly without admitting his own weakness. So they fought for ten years and eventually Odin won, but with great sacrifice – all of the original Valkyries were killed in combat. And their essence was harvested, diluted, and used to create an altogether new species of Valkyries, as we know them today.

"Or at least that's what the chronicle of the war suggests in just one very brief footnote. And that was it – the last reference ever found about these unique, powerful creatures. Strange how you can just write off the extinction of an entire species of Fae in just one brief note, don't you think? Fast forward a few hundreds of years and, what do you know? All of a sudden you have these beautiful, young women fulfilling that same role but in a much more subdued manner: they lived to serve and never got out of Odin's word. Never.

"Trick, are you getting any closer to anything even remotely resembling a point to this story?" Tamsin barked impatiently.

"The _point_, and I was getting there, was that this was all a load of bull. The original Valkyries did not die in battle, they were executed by Odin and the other Ancients because they were two powerful. It was also a concession Odin made to win the war and appease the other Fae clans. So a plan was put together, mostly with Loki and Frigg as instigators, and all the original Valkyries were lured into a trap during battle and then slain. Every last one of them."

He paused again for dramatic effect. Lauren nodded pensively. "So how come did this Baal Shem know so much about them? I mean, he was in the Middle East and they were way up north. Even for the Fae, I imagine it was pretty difficult to travel such distances back then. Not to mention that most of them would have probably killed each other on sight."

"Sadly that's true, Doctor Lewis. But the Baal Shem did not travel much, given his health condition. He knew so much about it because he heard it from the source. It seems that not all of these Fae died in the Ancients' trap and that one of the oldest, most powerful of them survived after being warned of the treachery by Freyja. She, in turn, tried to warn her sisters, but they wouldn't listen. And why would they? Never unchallenged, and so overconfident in their powers and status. They mocked her and called her a coward, so she had no choice but to flee all alone. She was the only one to survive the massacre.

"Somehow, this last surviving proto-Valkyrie managed to hide for a long time and eventually even change her appearance, so she wouldn't be found. She made her way to the Middle East where she somehow stumbled upon our Baal Shem friend. According to his own writings, she was almost insane when he found her, all consumed by hatred an anger, her nature close to overtaking her completely and destroying everything in her path. Lost and without purpose, she was traveling wherever wars broke out, still trying to do her duty and collect souls of the bravest warriors. But the doors to Valhalla were closed to her so she wandered around aimlessly, appearing wherever conflicts broke out. And this is where it gets interesting – stories soon emerged that wherever this Fae appeared wars would soon begin unexpectedly, that she was actually the one causing them. Even more interesting is that reports varied greatly when it came to this Fae's appearance."

At this Trick stopped and picked up the book. Tamsin was starting to get a very good idea about where the entire conversation was heading and she really didn't like it. She should have left when she still had the chance.

"Some spoke of a beautiful, fair-haired maiden, while others spoke of a dark, frightful creature," he began again holding the book up for everyone to see the image. As if Tamsin hadn't been staring at the damn thing for almost an hour already.

"But whatever the incarnation, the reports agreed that it was wielding a sword of fire and was absolutely ruthless on the battlefield. The stories continued spreading until they got a life of their own, as they are bound to do, and soon enough, they started blending with another mythos, falling perfectly in place with what that particular system needed – an idea and a representation for two of the world's most terrible scourges: War and Death.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Trick, wait until we're all mummified, why don't you?" Evony cut in, sounding even more bored than usual; if that was even possible. "Just get to the point already!" Tamsin shared the sentiment wholeheartedly, but Lauren was listening intently, completely engrossed in the story.

"Alright, alright, I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you. Bottom line, this last surviving proto-Valkyrie ended up in the desert and that's where our Baal Shem found her, the only survivor of a fierce battle. And the way he described her appearance explains the different accounts and reports I just mentioned: it seems that her body kept on shifting between her original form and this blonde haired woman," he nodded imperceptibly towards Tamsin, "because she was desperately trying to adapt, to change her appearance. She was desperate to look more like her new sisters, in hope that she would be able to join them, to have purpose and duty once again. Alas, she was not able to keep the disguise and kept on moving between forms, never able to stop on one."

"And let me get this straight, you think this proto-Valkyrie is Tamsin?" It was Lauren's turn to interrupt. "Why? I mean, it could be anyone, Trick. And we have yet to hear any actual proof that this is anything else than a story, other than the slight resemblance between the woman in that image and Tamsin."

"A cool story, Trick, but Lauren is right. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would really like to include Riders of the fucking Apocalypse on my resume – and hey why settle for one when you can be two, right? But it still sounds like a bunch of horseshit to me."

"I would have thought the same. But it's all in here, Tamsin," he added patiently, pointing at the book again. "The Baal Shem took the Valkyrie in, nursed her back to health and helped her change. She was still so consumed by rage – obviously this was the emotion she was governed by, so he had no choice but to name her. A name given by a Baal Shem is extremely powerful, but also extremely tricky if it's not the right choice. He had one shot at making this right so he had to pick very carefully. He became obsessed and worked tirelessly to find the right name for her – he recounted his research in great detail with which I will not bore you now.

"But eventually he found it – the one name that could help her survive. The one name that would lock all or most of her rage away and place her immense power, along with her memories, behind a tall, unbreakable wall within her mind, so as to allow her to complete the transformation. The one name that would allow her to go back to Valhalla, and join a new sisterhood as one of their own.

"And that name was The Twin."

Silence settled over the room as the Blood King stopped talking, the weight of the name hanging heavily over their heads. Trick was looking straight at Tamsin, waiting for a reaction. Even Evony had stopped checking her fingernails and was studying the Valkyrie curiously from under a pair of perfectly arched eyebrows. Tamsin avoided looking at any of them, her eyes set on the far wall of the room, her hands clenched in tight fists under the table.

_Fuck. _

_No, this can't be._

_Fuck._

It was Lauren who broke the silence, something that didn't surprise Tamsin at all. She was much too angry to be able to form a coherent sentence anyway.

"Trick, I hardly think this qualifies as irrefutable proof that Tamsin is this… this ancient creature. I mean, since I've been with the Fae I have learned to exponentially expand the limits of my imagination and of what I can conceive as actually possible, but this… even for you, even for the Fae, this is beyond crazy!"

"Yet it's the naked truth, doctor," Evony intervened before Trick had the chance to open his mouth. "Trust me, we wouldn't even bring this up if we weren't absolutely positive."

"I'm afraid Evony is right, Lauren. Based on all the research we've done and on what the Baal Shem wrote…"

"Eli," Tamsin said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"Eli. His name was Eli…" she added, in an almost melancholy voice.

"So… you remember then?" Trick asked hesitantly. He flinched when Tamsin lifted her eyes to him, a look of despair and anger etched into her features. There was a long pause until she deigned to respond.

"Bits and pieces. I do remember… her. Vaguely," she said, pointing at the grey blur in the image. She had no intention of telling them how she remembered her exactly, nor how she seemed to have acquired her current appearance. "I think it's starting to come back, somehow…"

Trick and Evony exchanged a meaningful look that did not go unnoticed to the Valkyrie. Nor to the human doctor. "Alright so, assuming that this is true… what does that mean, Trick? How is Tamsin being one of the oldest Fae alive and quite a fierce one, judging by your story, how is that a good thing?"

"It means that we finally have the leader we needed – one of the oldest Fae in existence, someone who has led hundreds if not thousands of battles, someone who has served and knew Odin and the other Ancients personally. Or at least that's who she'll be once we remove the block. After Tamsin is finally reunited with her… essence, she will be able to lead us all to victory. I expect all of the council members and almost all of the other Fae on Bo's side will join us once they find out who she is."

"You seem awfully sure, old man. Why would they switch sides when Bo is so clearly winning?"

"Is she though, Tamsin? I know for sure many of her 'subjects' oppose her revenge-fueled decisions and blood lust, especially now after she has decided to execute the surrendering troops unless we turn ourselves in…

"Wait, what? Kill the troops? Don't you think you should have led with that?" Tamsin was seething already, and she could feel her blood trickling down her palm and fingers, from where her fingernails had pressed so hard that they'd broken skin. Some point during Trick's monolog, Lauren had sat down next to her, her hand reaching out for Tamsin under the table. She felt the clenched fists and ran her fingers over them, but did not insist on getting the Fae to open them. Instead, she had latched her hand around one of the Valkyrie's wrists in a loose grip.

"Yes, I'm afraid she has decided to execute all of our former soldiers until our unconditional surrender. So you see, Tamsin, this is the only way. The only way to end the war. The only way to save all those Fae. And all of us as well. When you are reunited with your inner self, not only will you be able to defeat Bo without hardly lifting a finger, you will also have the loyalty and eternal gratitude of all the Fae."

"You can shove your gratitude as far up your ass that you'll chew it for breakfast tomorrow morning, Trick. No, there must be another way. I don't want to… I don't want to have anything to do with… that thing," she spat out in disgust.

"I think what Tamsin is trying to say," Lauren cleared her throat and tightened her grip of the Valkyrie's wrist, "is that there must be a way to win this war without turning her back into… mhm, a proto-Valkyrie."

"There isn't. We've exhausted all other possibilities. This is our only chance."

"And while I may not share the Blood King's enthusiasm, nor do I think it is a particularly bright idea to trade one mighty powerful Fae for a creature of mayhem almost as old as the world itself, I'm afraid there is no other way," Evony seconded him.

"Assuming, for the sake of discussion, assuming that I'd do it. How do we even bring her back?"

"Well, this is the tricky part," Trick began eagerly, happy to be given the chance to explain.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You see, the Baal Shem placed the block under heavy security, so to speak, to make sure the original Valkyrie spirit inside you would never be able to come out by itself."

"But she has, Trick. I've seen her in my dreams."

"So that explains why you can remember her, even vaguely. When exactly did this happen?"

"While I was still being held prisoner."

"Well… according to the Baal Shem, only 'that which is her destiny shall be able to release her spirit, by blade and pain, and the Valkyrja will be required to make a choice – her true nature or her true destiny.' It was obviously set up specifically like this so as to make the choice practically impossible – to the Valkyrie that you were at the time, and to the Valkyrie you are now. That's how you're wired, your species, you will always choose destiny as the ultimate purpose to fulfil. It should be a no-brainer, really.

"Still, he knew you were different, he knew it would take a lot more to keep your rage under lid, so to make things even harder, he specifically opted to have you sacrifice your destiny, or rather _be sacrificed_ at the hands of your destiny instead of just opting out and instead choosing to become one with yourself again. It should be out of the question. Or it should have been… but if you've started remembering, I don't know… I don't even know how that's possible… unless…" his eyes landed on Lauren but his voice trailed off, not sure what to say anymore.

Tamsin blinked repeatedly until the true meaning of what Trick had just said settled in.

Her destiny. Lauren.

By blade and pain.

The first memory breaking out while she was in captivity and under torture. At Lauren's hands, although indirectly.

She realized in horror that if she was ever to reunite with her true nature, Lauren had to kill her.

"No. Absolutely not," she said determinedly, noticing the unusual pallor on the doctor's face after hearing Trick's words. "There must be another way, I'm sure of it! We were actually getting very close to finding a way when you busted in and rescued us!" Trick stared at her incredulously. "Tell him, Lauren!"

The doctor finally stood up, trying very hard to bring the world back into focus. Her head was spinning madly and her knees seemed to be made of jelly all of a sudden, refusing to obey her commands.

_'__Nothing to it.'_ She had almost forgot about it. Quick to dismiss it as just a stupid dream, she had pushed it back into a far recess of her mind, and she had been very determined not to talk to anyone about it. Not even Tamsin.

Her hands were gripping the edge of the table so tightly that her knuckles had turned white and were trembling slightly.

"Doc?"

Lauren opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, so she just waved her hand in what was supposed to be a reassuring gesture and let everybody know she was fine.

There was no way around it now. She had to talk to Tamsin about it.

"Sorry," she finally said in a shaky voice. She looked around her, seeing the expression of concern on their faces. Evony's too, which she would have found terribly amusing under any other circumstances. "Right," she cleared he throat again. "So before we escaped I was running some tests on Bo's blood against Tamsin's, and that was the first time I actually saw any kind of reaction."

Neither Lauren nor Tamsin noticed the mortified expression on Trick's face. Even Evony looked surprised.

"As you remember, when we created a bond to allow both of them to go to Valhalla after Kenzi and return safely, I created a serum that combined their blood. We think remnants of that bond still exist, hence the reaction, I assume. It was as if the Valkyrie blood was taking over, trying to assimilate Bo's in a way. We're pretty sure this hold the key to a cure but we escaped before I could finish the research… I'm certain that if I could have access to some basic lab equipment…"

She didn't get to finish though, because Evony burst out into a loud laughter, much to their dismay. It did not sound like genuine amusement though.

"Oh dear gods you are such idiots!" she managed to sputter out eventually.

"Evony…" Trick said in warning.

"What? They are!" She shrugged. "Don't you get it? It's the blood that caused this whole mess in the first place! Bo was injected with the blood of an original Valkyrie. Diluted, true, but still so very potent! And then she went to Valhalla, of all places – a non-Valkyrie, a succubus, no less, with an original's blood running through her veins! That little trip made the blood's power skyrocket, and it has been growing stronger ever since, taking hold of more and more of her, poisoning her more every day!"

"And that is also why her chi is now poisonous. To be accurate, it's not even her chi anymore, it's actually what literature describes as 'the breath of the Valkyrie,'" Trick added. "The Kiss of Death," he explained after seeing Lauren's confused look.

A long, uncomfortable silence fell over them again, Trick and Evony waiting for the new piece of information to be processed, while Lauren was staring at the Blood King in disbelief, hoping that he'd tell her this was just a silly joke.

The silence was only broken by the scraping noise of wood against wood as Tamsin stood up abruptly, kicked back her chair and stormed out of the room without a word, slamming the door loudly behind her.


End file.
